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Am I being irrational?

(10 Posts)
msrisotto Mon 08-Aug-11 20:24:15

I've put this here because I can't think of any other reason as to why I might feel like this but I am not happy with my body. I never ever am. I have recently lost more than half a stone, under a stone in weight. I was size 12 before, am size 12 now. I have been getting SO many compliments and comments from colleagues, friends and family (mostly my mum!) about my weight loss.

I would be happy with my weight, if people just stopped commenting on it. I was happy before, I'm happy now (well better, because of the compliments). But I have to say the compliments piss me off a bit because (with my mum in particular) they not so subtly imply that I was 'too big' before and I wasn't. I'm not even very different looking now!

It's difficult to repeat in my head that I was healthy before and that I looked fine before and that I don't need to lose more weight (although i'd get more compliments to a point). Am I being oversensitive? Should the compliments be making me happy? They're not. My parents hardly said anything when I got asked to present my research at a national conference recently.

SheCutOffTheirTails Mon 08-Aug-11 20:28:32

I've just lost a similar amount of weight and was giving out to DH yesterday that nobody had commented on it grin

He said that they probably didn't want to imply that I was fat before (I was) (actually, I still am) but I wouldn't really be bothered by that implication.

I'm not sure whether you are being irrational, really.

But WELL DONE on presenting your research at a national conference smile Wow, that is fantastic <seriously impressed>

JeremyVile Mon 08-Aug-11 20:29:56

Your weight may well have been perfectly healthy before but there is obviously a noticable, positive change in your appearance. Which is a good thing.
Perhaps its not that people though you were overweight before but sometimes a little bit of weight loss (or perhaps the activity levels/nutritional changes that facilitated the weight loss) can make someone look more glowy and more awake. It might just be that, rather than a weight issue as such, perhaps you are just looking healthier and people are noticing?

JeremyVile Mon 08-Aug-11 20:34:31

Oh, totally missed the bit at the end. Yes thats pretty crap that your parents would keep on about your weight loss but not mention you far more important achievement. Well done, you must be chuffed about that.

msrisotto Mon 08-Aug-11 20:54:23

Thanks, maybe I am being touchy. I guess you can't win when I get grumpy and you (Shecutofftheirtails) get grumpy for opposite reasons!

SardineQueen Mon 08-Aug-11 20:57:43

I think that our over-riding cultural positivity towards thinness and how desirable it is, mean that most people will comment positively about weight loss without even thinking about it.

So if someone clocks that another has lost even a small amount of weight, they comment positively.

Similar effect can be seen if you have a day where you look a bit different to usual (hair/makeup/clothes etc) and people haven't seen you for a little while - the comment is always "Oh you look great! Have you lost weight?".

So I think its just an automatic thing, just ignore it!

I am sad that you are not happy with your body though.
And also terribly impressed about presenting your research that's super-impressive!

buzzsore Mon 08-Aug-11 21:39:42

I think it's pretty rational to be pissed off that losing weight seems to rate more highly in importance than your success in your career.

swallowedAfly Sun 14-Aug-11 20:52:08

Message withdrawn

TrillianAstra Sun 14-Aug-11 20:54:37

Most people to lose half a stone would have had to put in some effort.

Therefore people assume that you deliberately lost weight, so they compliment you on it. If they didn't compliment you it would be as if they were saying that all of that effort was for nothing.

exoticfruits Sun 14-Aug-11 21:09:29

I would be very upset if no one commented!

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