Hi everyone,
This is my first post here and I joined because it looks like you have a really good forum here for feminist debate. I registered to ask a question and I'm a bit worried it's not the type of thing people would ask on here or not, but here goes. Sorry if it's too long!
I've been watching porn since I was about 12 and masturbating frequently to it, and grew up thinking I had a healthy sex drive. I got my first boyfriend at 20 and we clicked in every way, he's feminist too (he knows way more about it than I do).
Both in person and in bed I'm submissive, and when aroused my instinct is always to be degraded and I can't help viewing myself through that 'male lens', basically living vicariously through what my boyfriend is experiencing as I'm doing/having things done to me. My boyfriend's always made sure I'm 100% ok with things before he does them, and has admitted that sometimes he feels uncomfortable when he thinks about what he does to me out of context, but at the time he admits how much he loves it. He barely watches any porn, only when I do if he's with me, and I've watched less since becoming sexually active as it's suddenly more "real" to me and I find more of it disturbing.
We've tried me being in power or simply just making love, but I find it really hard to become properly aroused, and when I do I automatically go into "use me!" mode :( I've started to feel guilty all the time because of it and I don't know where many feminists stand on this issue. I also don't want to start subconsciously resenting my boyfriend :(
Please, any opinions at all would be great!!
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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions
Should I feel guilty for enjoying degrading sex?
69 replies
Georgia1987 · 08/08/2011 01:35
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