All those books, articles, courses on how to Find The One, Make Him Commit, Keep It Exciting - keeping women occupied with the Perfect Relationship means they don't have time to do anything interesting with their lives.
I've always found it strange how men's "lifestyle" magazines (not the lads mags) are full of hobbies and gadgets and women's are full of dating and relationship advice, as though men are some kind of pastime for us.
Ah, but sgb that's not heteromonogamy itself, it's the obsessing over perfection in a relationship and getting the right man that's the problem. It's perfectly possible to be monogamous and heterosexual without buying into that imo.
Being heterosexual(or homosexual, or bisexual, etc) is something that you are more than something that you do, so it can't be a waste of time.
Being monogamous is only a waste of time if you are not getting what you want out of it (and then you have to decide if it is the state of monogamy or the person who you are being monogamous with that is the problem).
So yes, these magazines may be training women to waste their time, but it's not heterosexuality or monogamy that's the problem, it's the expectation that men and women are interested in different things and differently entitled to pursue outside interests.
I agree with Trillian here. Society may set up an expectation that women should put p with all the above in a relationship (and many women do) but it does not follow that a heteromonogamous relationship is necessarily one where all these things become the women's responsibility.
Actually, I don't think it is SAF conflating heterosexual and monogamy with 'shit women put up with in relationships'...it is society, ably supported by the media ( magazines, romantic narratives, the wedding industry')..
The most telling narrative about weddings, being it will be 'the best day in a womans life'...I mean how depressing a conceptis that ?
So it's society that is the problem, not the concept of heteromonogamy.
Shall we go back in time and say that heterosexuality is a bad idea because you'll be socially ostracised, shouted at in the street, beaten up, possibly put in prison? Er, no, it's not homosexuality that is the problem it's society.
In recent years we've gone some way towards making this society a more pleasant one in which to be homosexual, so why the defeatist attitude re monogamy and heterosexuality?