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Some men really hate women being single don't they?

(1005 Posts)
solidgoldbrass Sun 31-Jul-11 22:55:52

inspired by a couple of other threads including the separatism one. Have you ever noticed that if a man you don't like or know or fancy is trying to persuade you to date him or spend time with him or even just talk to him, the only really effective way to make him fuck off is to tell him that you are another man's property. Just saying No, leave me alone, no thanks, actually I am having a conversation with my female friend and am not interested in talking to you, never seems to work until you throw in My Boyfriend or My Husband.

adamschic Sun 31-Jul-11 22:59:23

It's a good way of getting rid of unwanted advances as he might be frightened of getting his head kicked in. grin

Seriously I usually find a cold shoulder suffices.

ninah Sun 31-Jul-11 23:00:40

a bit of anglo saxon does it for me

AnyFucker Sun 31-Jul-11 23:06:20

I think there is a certain type of bloke which fits your description, sgb

Stupid male bravado fuckwittery, often to be found in Jacques "wine bars" or JD Wetherspoon establishments smile

Easily pigeonholed, I reckon, and with your grasp of the English language, I would have thought easily dealt with wink

AnyFucker Sun 31-Jul-11 23:07:10

...rather annoying though, oh yes indeedy

solidgoldbrass Sun 31-Jul-11 23:11:31

Thing is, I have this sort of mental block about saying 'But I've got a boyfriend/husband even though I know it is the quickest way to get rid of the tossers. It just annoys me so much that they won't take on board the fact that I simply don't want to engage with them and I don't have to.

AnyFucker Sun 31-Jul-11 23:12:52

You shouldn't have to tell lies though, should you ?

That is why it is so annoying

lemonmuffin Sun 31-Jul-11 23:24:05

they probably think youre playing hard to get, im afraid i do this when i dont want to look too keen but would then end up talking to them.

rainbowtoenails Sun 31-Jul-11 23:25:19

Yes some men see all unattached women as 'available and at their disposal'. I think quite a lot of rapes originate from this belief.

oiwheresthecoffee Sun 31-Jul-11 23:27:40

Im with you. Saying im not interested doesnt cut it but saying i belong to someone else does ? I shouldnt have to lie i should just be able to say no thanks but these types of men cant believe that a single woman wouldnt be over joyed at the offer of a man in their life and want to jump on them straight away....

solidgoldbrass Sun 31-Jul-11 23:30:32

Yes it's the fact that some men see women as property, and if a woman isn't owned by a man, she's like a fiver dropped on the pavement, they can just have her.

adamschic Sun 31-Jul-11 23:35:15

Feeling a bit depressed by this thread. I'm single and not getting this sort of thing happening against my wishes. (skulks back to the corner marked seriously missing the point)

kickassangel Mon 01-Aug-11 00:01:22

many years ago, when i was engaged (and wearing a ring) there was a guy at a nightclub who wanted me to dance with him. i was sitting with a friend chatting, but leaning against dh's side, so actually, physically attached to him.

the guy wanting me to dance wouldn't take no for an answer, but grabbed my arm & tried to pull me on to the dance floor. so i told him i was engaged & pointed to my ring.

to which he replied 'well piss off back to him' shock

i think that's the kind of guy that sgb is talking about!

WillieWaggledagger Mon 01-Aug-11 00:10:09

when we were at university dp and i would be in a pub and i would regularly get approached by a certain type of men when he had gone to the bar or the loo or something. i would make it clear that i wasn't interested but it was only when dp returned that they would bugger off

WillieWaggledagger Mon 01-Aug-11 00:11:31

and there's that fucknig affronted face that these types of men make that frankly makes me feel quite punchy

adamschic Mon 01-Aug-11 00:12:17

Willie OMG I got a spooky deja vue feeling reading your post.

Guess my earlier post was because I don't get out enough and you have made me rejoice in that.

solidgoldbrass Mon 01-Aug-11 00:14:50

Kind of, Kaa, though that sounds like an exceptionally rude knobbo. What annoys me more is the sort of bloke whose attitude is 'Well you're single! You're not another man's property! So I can just have you. Why can't I just have you, what do you mean you don't want to know? Are you one of these wierd feminists? How can you like being single? Are you a lezzer? Why won't you talk to me if there isn't another man who owns you to object?'


ElephantsAndMiasmas Mon 01-Aug-11 00:15:51

It's pretty damn cheeky of any woman not to be available for fucking by the Sacred Dick of Whoever isn't it.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Mon 01-Aug-11 00:17:01

Also SGB I think it's the sort of fuckhead chap who is stuck in an era where they imagine women said no when they meant yes. In fact it might be the case that women have ALWAYS fucking said no and meant it, but people just haven't listened.

adamschic Mon 01-Aug-11 00:22:36

SGB, are you not putting too much power on these men. 70% of men I come across in daily life make that 80% from the dating websites are not attractive to me (I might not be to them) so they wouldn't stand a chance and anything they say to me gets ignorned. I don't feel compromised by them for being a single woman or am I really missing something.

DioneTheDiabolist Mon 01-Aug-11 00:26:37

When this has happened in the past, I tell them why I won't date them. It normally goes something like this.
"I don't fancy you." (and if that doesn't work, I go into detail....)
"I don't like your height, you know maybe if you were more handsome, I'd make an exception on the height thing's not just that, you are quite boring and I really, really hate your hands. I could never ever date a man with those hands, they make me a bit sick looking at them to be honest."
And then I walk away, if he hasn't walked away first (that has only happened once).

solidgoldbrass Mon 01-Aug-11 01:00:05

PMSL Dione that's excellent 'your hands make me feel a bit sick'...

Empusa Mon 01-Aug-11 01:14:30

Maybe it's just me, but saying I have a bloke has always encouraged them. Maybe it's that they are thinking, "no strings". sad Nice to be thought of that way

Missingfriendsandsad Mon 01-Aug-11 01:29:15

I have to say though that just because a man is talking to you it doesnt' necessarily mean he is trying to date you. One of my male friends just genuinely prefers female company and he is getting sick of women pointedly saying 'I have a boyfriend' just as he gets into a reasonable conversation with them. I went through last friday night trying to bouy him up because he feels like his friendliness is being completely misinterpreted. I ended up telling him he should pretend to have a girlfriend so they didn't think he was coming on to them and he said he had tried that and they think he is even worse. I think its just that the 'norm' for some parts of the community is that men talk to men unless they are trying to get sex and vice versa.

I just don't get that world. I do get, though, that if you are angry with men, everything they do seems annoying, wrong and frustrating.

Missingfriendsandsad Mon 01-Aug-11 01:36:02

oops sorry posted by accident..

.. so it could be that?? I do know that when I was younger I went to gay bars quite a lot because you can have a laugh with the blokes without any hidden agendas seemingly more easily, but I have had plenty of nights out in less chavvy places where dancing with all sorts is seen as just part of the mess-around nights. If you go to meat markets where the fantasies are all about easy sex and then tell people you are single it does seem a bit silly to be angry if men get the wrong idea about trying to impress you.

Mind you I do think the number and confidence of dumb jimmies who think that telling you they will kick your mates heads in is an appropriate chat up line. I think it got worse after kidulthood was shown on the BBC. Either that or loaded and nuts are still training young male working class minds at full throttle.

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