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"So what's it like to swap muddy football boots and dinosaurs for all things pink?" boak

(13 Posts)
NormanTebbit Sun 10-Jul-11 14:02:19

"All the little girls I knew were manipulative, evil creatures hell bent on mental torture and showing off.

I am a mother of three girls. I do not recognise this construction, or any in this article...it's so depressing.

colditz Sun 10-Jul-11 14:06:11

My mother believes that.

Nagini Sun 10-Jul-11 14:12:21

I have one of each. I didn't think that article was that bad TBH.

There was a lot about the presumptions that cause children to be interpreted as feminine or masculine.

That was one woman exhibiting her fear of having a girl as she was used to boys. I hope she has revised her opinion or her little girl is not going to be very happy as her every action or idea is interpreted as being evil and manipulative sad

NormanTebbit Sun 10-Jul-11 14:47:13

I just think that it's more about birth order - like if you have a boy fiorst and then a girl you are more likely to treat them differently as you perceive them to be different along gender lines... and the children will always try to differentiate themselves from each other anyway.

I never felt any anxiety about having a particular sex, I don't get it really.

sunshineandbooks Sun 10-Jul-11 15:03:44

I'm a feminist, I've well versed in how parenting, peer pressure and the wider society can reinforce cultural stereotypes and I am actively trying to overcome that. But I still find myself doing it by accident sometimes. If you're not aware of it, or don't see anything wrong with it, you are bound to be reinforcing those stereotypes massively.

I actually think this has got worse in recent years. The rise of consumerism has spread massively into the toy market. Toys are segregated by gender more than they have ever been I think. It's reinforced through silly little things too, like putting a toy in a boy's party bag and a piece of jewellery in a girl's.

I am very grateful to have had b/g twins. By being at the same stage of development the fact that they play with each other's toys and do the same activities has much more effect on redressing the balance than it would if there were an age gap.

NormanTebbit Sun 10-Jul-11 15:10:27

Yes I find having three of the same sex seems to mean they are not treated in such a gendered way. They get train sets and science books, jeans and T shirts along with dresses and play makeup.

I wonder if I had a boy, whether this stuff would go to him and the pink go solely to the girls.

And I still don't get the anxiety over having a child of a particular sex - they are all the same really up until school.

SardineQueen Sun 10-Jul-11 17:41:23

"She is always filthy - five minutes after having a bath - and she is very rough and tumble. However she is also a woman in practice in that she is a stroppy little madam!"

Bleurgh.

The bit in the middle with the science woman reporting that different sex babies are treated differently was good though.

And I agree with sunshine. I find myself complimenting DD1 on her clothes and telling her how pretty she looks all the bleeding time. She does look very pretty though grin I just know if I had a boy I wouldn't spend half my time telling him how fabulous he looked even if he was looking fabulous IYSWIM.

DirtyMartini Sun 10-Jul-11 21:11:55

I dunno, SQ, you might be surprised. I have a boy (4) and girl (1), and I have always had a habit of telling DS how gorgeous he is (as I now do with DD). I know it's wrong to focus on their appearance, and I always kick myself afterwards, but it's almost unconscious; I've said before I've thought about it.

As a result, DS sometimes refers in passing, totally without boastful intent, to "my beautiful hair" and "my sweet wee toes" as if that is just what they are called.

SardineQueen Sun 10-Jul-11 21:26:48

Aw DM that's so sweet smile

DD is a very girly girl as well (god knows where from!) - she is nearly 4 and has been choosing her own clothes and accessories every day for a while now, and is very fastidious about matching colours and things. It would be churlish to refrain from complimenting her!

SardineQueen Sun 10-Jul-11 21:28:10

I love "my sweet wee toes" smile

the other day in bed with both children, DD1 said of DD2 "mummy xxxx has such sweet, tiny little ears!"

bless.

DirtyMartini Sun 10-Jul-11 21:45:55

aw. Love it when they marvel at one another.

NormanTebbit Sun 10-Jul-11 22:00:24

See, i was hoping for an angry thread but you are being all reasonable and everything...grin

rosy71 Tue 12-Jul-11 22:16:39

" I just know if I had a boy I wouldn't spend half my time telling him how fabulous he looked even if he was looking fabulous IYSWIM."
"I dunno, SQ, you might be surprised. I have a boy (4) and girl (1), and I have always had a habit of telling DS how gorgeous he is"

I agree. I am always telling ds2 (3) that he's my beautiful boy or my gorgeous boy. I used to do the same with ds1 too when he was smaller. Can't comment on the OP I'm afraid, as I only have boys.

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