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I think feminism will make things better for boys/men

(73 Posts)
TrillianAstra Tue 05-Jul-11 09:23:30

No suspicion when a man wants to work with children

No sarcastic remarks about male nurses

No "you can't play with that, it's for girls"

No teaching little boys that to be a man is to be tough and hard and unemotional

And of course all the women in a man's life will be much happier

Of course they won't get disproportionate amounts of pay and won't be chosen for promotion unless they actually are the best candidate, but I think the above makes up for that.

TrillianAstra Tue 05-Jul-11 09:25:30

If you start talking about rape I will point out that most men don't rape, don't want to rape, and do want violent criminals to be in prison.

LeninGrad Tue 05-Jul-11 09:43:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nenevomito Tue 05-Jul-11 10:05:24

Agreed. A level playing field benefits everyone.

SpringchickenGoldBrass Tue 05-Jul-11 10:06:39

I agree too. Most people are happier in a more equal world.

TrillianAstra Tue 05-Jul-11 10:08:07

Any more examples? I thought it would be nice to have a nice thread of happy things smile

Bandwithering Tue 05-Jul-11 10:11:19

Well, I would like to see new fathers put under more pressure to take the paternity leave they're (mostly) entitled to.

At the moment a lot of fathers feel the culture in their office/workplace is that they can't take paternity leave. This needs to change. Only when men take paternity leave will employers stop discriminating against women.

men should be able to enjoy a bit more balance in their life too. Birth of a child is a big deal and more fathers should be able to take more than 2 or 3 days off work.

buzzsore Tue 05-Jul-11 10:18:03

More choice in clothing. appearance, no pressure to appear macho or fear of being 'effeminate'.

TrillianAstra Tue 05-Jul-11 10:18:07

Do men really not take their two weeks? (they have in places I've worked) That's sad. Is it because they can't afford it or because their employers say they need them to work?

TrillianAstra Tue 05-Jul-11 10:19:47

My post-feminist world would have a large amount of (ma/pa)ternity leave that could be shared between the parents, and they could take it one after the other or both at once. Which would be nice for everyone I think.

Hullygully Tue 05-Jul-11 10:19:47

I think it will EMASCULATE them and take away their God-Given Manliness. You are wimminpervertoes who don't understand the Natural Order.

SybilBeddows Tue 05-Jul-11 10:20:45

good thread Trillian.

A lot of men I know (dh included) take their two weeks in theory but actually go in to work a few times because it's less trouble to (eg) deliver a lecture yourself than arrange for someone else to do it.

TrillianAstra Tue 05-Jul-11 10:22:26

I suppose it is tricky to plan ahead for people to cover your work when you don't know when it's going to happen and there's not much warning.

(ok so 9 months warning tecnically grin but there's still a fairly big window)

SybilBeddows Tue 05-Jul-11 10:23:57

here's a relatively trivial one:

all the boys who currently miss out on some of the best children's fiction because it's marketed at girls or they have been somehow socialised to not want to read stuff with girl main characters, will get a wider choice of fabulous reading matter.

also they will get dolls' houses, which currently they only get to play with if they have sisters.

nenevomito Tue 05-Jul-11 10:24:13

Trillian - My DH was put under pressure not to take his two weeks both times by two separate employers. The second one pressured him so much he ended up using a week's leave rather than using Paternity Leave. Completely illegal, but there you go.

Not as bad as the fuckers my employer when I had DC1 who promoted my male assistant over me when I was on Mat leave and took away half of my department, but annoying all the same.

My friend's DH was also pressured to take the time off out of his AL allowance as well.

Until there is proper paternity leave and a change in culture that doesn't view it as just extra paid holiday (as if babies are just work for women) I can't see that changing.

Proper, respected paternity leave would have meant that my children could have stayed with a parent longer, as I had to return to work as the main wage earner.

TechLovingDad Tue 05-Jul-11 10:25:43

Sod that, I had all of 2 days paternity leave. So I took two weeks leave and spent every day at home.

Perhaps being raised by my mum has given me an unusual outlook. I always assumed men and women were equal and should be treated with the same respect. Real life has shown me some shocking attitudes to women.

SybilBeddows Tue 05-Jul-11 10:26:30

less pressure to be macho will mean men are more likely to look after themselves physically and not take so many risks, leading to longer life expectancy.
(that's the theory. in practice of course the gap is closing because women are smoking and drinking more.)

LeninGrad Tue 05-Jul-11 10:27:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MovingAndScared Tue 05-Jul-11 10:28:37

great thread
And it wouldn't be considered career suicide for either sex to work part time/leave on time
and there would be many more high quaulity PT jobs
I think as in norway etc you need to have some use it or loose it parternity leave on a decent rate of pay for men to take it up - at least intially

My DH didn't take all his paternity leave for DS2 - he got one week on full pay but the other was only 120 pounds or so -so it was going to really cost us - so he took AL for another week

loads of employers only pay statutory paternity pay and when mother is already on ML it can seem a bit much

Bandwithering Tue 05-Jul-11 10:31:00

Trillian, my didn't because he felt he couldn't. Anybody else in his team had only taken a few days and he didn't feel he could be the first to take two weeks. This is not rare. Would have been the same for the men in my workplace too.

Hullygully Tue 05-Jul-11 10:32:05

Lenin- make one. We made one with the dc (very simple) and it was great, they did lots of woodworking, carpet laying, furniture making etc.

LeninGrad Tue 05-Jul-11 10:32:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hullygully Tue 05-Jul-11 10:33:57

No, seriously. Just do a really simple one: two flat pieces of wood with two cross pieces in the middle and a triangle for a roof. No walls. Cut a hole in the top one for stairs and there you are.

LeninGrad Tue 05-Jul-11 10:41:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SybilBeddows Tue 05-Jul-11 10:43:36

Lenin is it really more expensive than you can afford? I think a lot of feminists who wouldn't hesitate to buy their son girly stuff that doesn't cost much, are a bit scared of anything that is a big commitment; eg a friend of mine had a ds that really wanted his room painted pink but she didn't want to because she was worried he would change his mind.
our dollshouse was around £100 and that's a pretty high quality wooden one but we're making/gradually buying the furniture; you can get much cheaper ones, too.

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