"Are you doing the washing?" and other weekend plans(34 Posts)
Just back from a week away, went to visit ILs.
FIL's conversation starter to me 'What are you doing over the rest of the weekend? Got lots of washing to do?'
My response (too pissed off to make witty/sarcastic comeback) 'No need, there was a washing machine where we stayed'.
Him: Oh that's good. You could keep on top of the washing while you were away.
Like I give a shit about washing, and actually DH does it as much as me. It just annoyed me, and I thought I'd share, and find out what your 1950s housewife plans are (or should be in the eyes of the ILs).
I baked scones for a WI afternoon tea.
<hangs head in shame>
I didn't wear a pinny though.
DH does all our washing. And the ironing. My FIL still asks me how I get on with it - he genuinely doesn't realise I never touch those tasks.
I am the food purchaser, meal planner, cook & kitchen cleaner. It makes for quite a decent balance.
I took my guides climbing today and tomorrow i'm going downhill mountain biking with the girls leaving DH at home
luckily the ILs and my parents know me well enough now to expect nothing different.
Still at least the washing is not invisible. DH thinks that magic imps whisk it out of our bags deposit it in the washing machine then hang it up afterwards, all in the time it takes him to log into his emails and open up his mail. yes I could say something about it, but it is pointless.
DH was moaning about his creased shirt. I hate ironing and l do the bare minimum. My response was if you don't like it do it yourself. MIL said 'oh FIL has never ironed a shirt' as if this was some sort of achievement. Clearly I am a bad wife.
When we had our washing machine fitted in our first house she proceeded to give me instructions on how to use it. A) I am an adult and have been able to use the washing machin since the age of 10 B) why is it only me that gets this lovely instructional presentation and not DH
There's probably a million more things that will come back to me. What I dont get is she's in her fifties, works as many hours as FIL and was raised by the most independent mother I have ever come across.
Now that you mention it, I've heard that a lot. My Japanese midwife was very preoccupied with who was going to do my washing after my baby was born. "Umm, DH?"
ANd LOL rookie Yes the OP'S FIL is indeed more liberated than some men, who don't worry about washing (their own or others') at all
My MIL is always talking about 'Mummy's washing line, Mummy's hoover' etc to our two sons. I just laugh inside as I do minimal housework and DH does most of it (except cooking as he is crap and I like cooking). It doesn't bother me as her influence is negligible compared to our sons' experiences of seeing their father actually doing most of the housework on a regular basis.
FIL actually does the majority of washing and no one in this house bothers to iron.
MIL thinks I am dreadful after realising that DP does at least as much housework as I do, sometimes more. Her exact comment was 'but he is at work all day'.
Clearly home educating and breastfeeding counselling don't count then.
My mother knows I've been working like crazy to finish my studies and have been at my desk from 9am to about 11pm-midnight for the last two weeks. Her comment yesterday? 'Oh, now you've handed that in you'll be able to catch up on your linen bin'.
This is why I love MN. I think it's just me, but no, it's all of us!
(As if DH would leave stinky socks around for two weeks, right?!)
the only thing I can think of in a 1950s housewife way that i did this weekend was sit next to DH when he played the piano at church yesterday. (it's on a stage thing, and all the singing group went to sit down in the normal congregation during the non-singy bits. I couldn't be arsed to)
oh, but i did make tea yesterday (does it count if all i did was cut up come salad andput it on a plate with some leftover pizza? )
DH does most things - he hung out all the washing etc when I was lying on the settee...
LRD - true - I would, but DH likes washign to be done and away. (which I love because he then actually does it - unlike Ex who would just complain that my clothes were all over the floor and not do anything to get them in the washing! i don't know why i stayed with him so long - fancy staying with someone who expects you to sort out your own washing!!!)
The first time I ever stayed with MIL she made a comment about DP getting his shirt out so that I could iron it for him for the morning. He and I both just about burst something laughing so hard at the idea I that would set up the board, iron his shirt then hang it up when I didn't have any ironing of my own, while he sat on his arse watching me.
I think she gathered our stance on shared housework from that because it hasn't really come up since then
My MIL has a different view about this depending on which son she is commenting on. She recognises fully that DH is perfectly capable of cooking cleaning, looking after DS (all of which he does admirably) and never comments on our domestic arrangement at all (perhaps she recognises my lack of enthusiasm in that department!). However, when it comes to DH's younger brother, then it is a different story. SIL is the devil incarnate for leaving the children with him on a Saturday after he has been working all week. She is always shocked when we go round for dinner and he does the cooking. BIL always seems to be put upon, more tired than the rest of us, harder working etc etc .
He plays her like a violin!
My FIL is the laziest, most selfish pig around. He prides himself in doing whatever he likes, ignoring MIL etc.
Her ironing pile was seriously high, almost touching the ceiling one day when DH and I were down to visit. At a guess I'd say 90% of the items were FILs, but he didn't care.
DH (who does the ironing at our house) got out the board, iron and stood for hours ironing to help his mum out, as she's really busy and is a carer for 2 sick family members.
FIL came into the room, saw what DH was doing and just chuckled, "Oh, is that what those things are for" and off he went again
(By the way, if anyone is wondering what I was doing when DH was helping MIL, I was running around after our toddler!)
Do these people belong to a generation where doing the washing is a really big deal?
calirty - that's just of your FIL!
(and no, we weren't wondering why you weren't doing someone else's laundry )
Its the other way round with me my mum and dad are constantly amazed that we do our own washing and my husband irons. They have never used a washing machine and I only know of 1 time my mum has used an iron.
They wouldnt ever expect me to do it, and my mum was like wow look at you ironing 'babydoras' clothes last wednesday when she came round. I only ironed 2 tops that are very small and you cant really go wrong on!
Clarity - do you think it's possible that your PIL were in the middle of an ironing standoff and your DH ruined it?
Maybe MIL was making a point by just not ironing - if 90% of the pile was his stuff then maybe she could happily go for weeks just wearing non-iron clothes
Well, I'm trying to get things on the right path for any future DiLs I might have. Before setting off on holiday yesterday, DS2 (18) spent about 2 hours doing all of the ironing for the family and very proud of himself he was too! I remember my poor Mum struggling with all of this in the 50s!
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