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The Lies of Pornography

(35 Posts)
NotAnApple Wed 22-Dec-10 11:48:57

Taken from Toxic Porn, Toxic Sex: A Real Look at Pornography by Gene McConnell

I thought the summary of The Lies of Porn was interesting. I feel really uncomfortable with porn but often find I can't find the words to fully express why. This has helped.

The article does say at the that the way throughporn addiction is to find God which for me, was a bit of a let down after finding the rest of the booklet so interesting but still, it's got value I think.

I just thought I'd share. I really like the Feminism/Women's Rights topic but often don't feel knowledgeable enough to post.

NotAnApple Wed 22-Dec-10 11:49:45

Oh, forgot to post a a few of the Lies - sorry:

Lie # 1: Women are less than human. The women in Playboy magazine are called “bunnies,” making them cute little animals or “playmates,” making them a toy. Porn often refers to women as animals, playthings, or body parts. Some pornography shows only the body and doesn’t show the face at all. The idea that women are real human beings with thoughts and emotions is played down.

* Lie #2: Women are a “sport.” Some sports magazines have a swimsuit issue. This suggests that women are just some kind of sport. Porn views sex as a game and in a game: You have to win, conquer or score.

* Lie #3: Women are property. It’s common to see pictures of the slick car with the sexy girl draped over it. The unspoken message is, “Buy one, and you get them both.” Hard-core porn carries this even further. It displays women like merchandise in a catalogue, exposing them as openly as possible for the customer to look at. It’s not surprising that many young men think that if they have spent some money taking a girl out, they have a right to have sex with her. Porn tells us that women can be bought.

* Lie #4: A woman’s value depends on the attractiveness of her body. Overweight or less attractive women are ridiculed in porn. They are called dogs, whales, pigs or worse, simply because they don’t fit into porn’s criteria of the perfect woman. In fact, if someone is attracted to a heavyset woman, porn labels that a fetish, which means sexual obsession or hang-up that isn’t “natural.” Porn doesn’t care about a woman’s mind or personality, only her body.

* Lie #5: Women like rape. “When she says no, she means yes” is a typical porn scenario. Women are shown being raped, fighting and kicking at first, and then starting to like it. Porn eroticizes rape and makes it arousing. Women are shown being tied up, beaten, and humiliated in hundreds of sick ways and finally begging for more. Even while being tortured, the porn actors and actresses have a smile on their face — a look of intense enjoyment.

Porn teaches men to enjoy hurting and abusing women for entertainment.

dittany Wed 22-Dec-10 11:55:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotAnApple Wed 22-Dec-10 12:01:23

Ah I wasn't aware of that Dittany but I can see how it would be useful for the religious right.

SantasSackura Wed 22-Dec-10 12:34:03

That's because we're slowly taking over the world, dittany. Feminists are like the borg. We only need to whisper our party line and any old group takes it on board [ironic grin]

ON a serious note, although it's very annoying that the Christian right are puritanical and do actually want to reign in female sexuality, it's good that there is another group out there fighting porn.

GetOrfMoiLand Wed 22-Dec-10 12:36:45

Notanapple - don't feel that you are not knowledgable enough to post in the femininism topic.

I know bugger all about anything, however i do love this topic and learn a lot from it.

SantasSackura Wed 22-Dec-10 12:39:43

Thanks for starting the thread NotanApple
IT's chilling that women are portrayed as less than human...

thenightsky Wed 22-Dec-10 12:42:00

Thank you OP for posting this. Like you I feel uncomfortable with porn but can never find the correct words to make a decent credible argument 'on the spot'. This is very helpful.

StewieGriffinsMom Wed 22-Dec-10 12:45:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotAnApple Wed 22-Dec-10 13:14:11

Thanks everyone! I do lurk and read a lot so maybe one I day I'll be able to jump in with confidence. It's not as scary as I thought smile

msrisotto Wed 22-Dec-10 13:27:33

Thanks for posting this. It is interesting as well because didn't the Nazis refer to Jews as rats and other animals to dehumanise them thus making it easier to justify killing them? It's an interesting comparison.

msrisotto Wed 22-Dec-10 13:40:34

It's a bit rich for christians/any religious groups to be suddenly all feminist on the wider culture - it starts at home people!

SantasSackura Wed 22-Dec-10 13:46:38

NotanApple, I've got no clue what I'm talking about most of the time on here; I just wing it

SantasSackura Wed 22-Dec-10 13:48:09

Yes, if women are less than human, well less human than men, at least, then any old atrocity can justifiably be commited against them.. which would explain a lot

NotAnApple Wed 22-Dec-10 13:49:16

well winged SantasSakura! That is my usual approach to life so I might give it a try.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf Wed 22-Dec-10 14:00:16

This guy is not interested in pornography. He's using an anti-porn stance to sell Christianity.

He starts with a statement saying sex should be within marriage. What a feminist.

If you want to find attitudes about women being treated as animals, less than human and property, I would flick through a Bible.

NotAnApple Wed 22-Dec-10 14:03:20

I haven't actually even seen much porn. I did watch something with DH a few years ago out of curiosity. I know this might sound very niaive but I was struck by the lack of plot, they just got down to it, that was pretty much the entire film.

There was no pretence that they liked each other it was just sex. So from that point of view, I found it very boring.

However, watching the actual sex just made me really uncomfortable. It was all about what positions and angles she could be moved into for him. Other than her very fake groans of pleasure (which were obviously more about letting the viewerhow great the man was/how much she enjoyed really rough sex rather than her actual enjoyment). She grimaced all the way through. She tried to make it look like a smile but it never reached her eyes. I swear it was just pain.

I hated it. Now, I am no porn expert so perhaps what I saw was just the harsher, less caring end of the porn spectrum but I imagine not. What it makes me wonder is what men think when they watch it? DH honestly thought she looked like she was having a good time when it was very clear to me she wasn't. I wonder if this insenstivity to her experience translates in real life to an inability to not caring about a partners experience of sex.

I can't say from my case study of one, that DH is particularly insensitive but porn but I do think that him use porn does spill over into our relationship occassionally.

Hmmm...just thinking "out loud" really but reading this booklet has convinced me to have the porn conversation with DH again.

NotAnApple Wed 22-Dec-10 14:04:18

rewriting this sentence:

I can't say from my case study of one, that DH is particularly insensitive but I do think that him using porn does spill over into our relationship occassionally.

NotAnApple Wed 22-Dec-10 14:08:07

TondelayoSchwarzkopf you're right, I wonder if it generates much interest in their cause? I have a dislike for porn, DH knows it, occassionally it's an issue but I couldn't see me turning to God for help.

Then again, I suppose it's a bit like those people who stand in town telling everyone that Jesus will forgive them if they turn to him. I don't know how many people actually take them up on their offer either but it doesn't stop them.

ISNT Wed 22-Dec-10 20:37:44

The problem with the religious crossover thing is that when people/feminists get het up about representations of women and girls in the media, they just get accused of being prudish/puritanical etc. Which of course is entirely not the point when it's feminists talking.

Look at the new govt and how they have decided to run another study into sexualisation of children - the last one by a psychologist was very good from what I gather - but this new one will be run by a Christian organisation which means that a whole load of people won't even listen to the arguments - the mary whitehouse effect IYSWIM.

Thanks for the OP as well very interesting.

I hope your DHs porniness spill-over into your real lives isn't causing you any grief. I don't really like to ask though, just you mentioned it in a negative way.

AliceWorld Wed 22-Dec-10 22:20:15

It feels like there's something missing in those lies to me, but I can't place my finger on what. It feels like it's skimming the surface and not getting something far more important. I'm tired so maybe my brain isn't working. Maybe it's because it's from a religious source there is something missing from a feminist perspective. I dunno. Is it trivialising what porn is an ignoring that it is violent? blah blah blah

(NotAnApple - don't be afraid to post here. You can post inarticulate crap like I just have grin Imo if people are wanting to learn about and discuss feminism, from an even vaguely feminist perspective it all goes just fine grin)

My ex used to be into porn. He was an arse. If it's a problem, you don't have to accept it. He told me you did have to accept it/all men use porn/everything goes blue and drops off if they can't use it. It's not true.

NotAnApple Thu 23-Dec-10 09:17:01

Sorry, I didn't mean to make it sound like a big deal. It's usually comments about my, erm, pubic hair maintenance (or lack of) that grate. He'd prefer me to lose it all whereas to me having no pubic hair is something you see on women in porn and pre/pubescent children. I have no desire to look like either. He disagrees and says he just like it so I see that as him being influenced by porn. 

That's probably as bad as it gets really, sorry if it sounded dramatic. I am very sensitive to anything porn related. I strongly dislike it.

He says he'll not watch porn if it makes me uncomfortable but I would prefer him to not watch it because he understands why it's wrong rather than just for me.

ISNT Thu 23-Dec-10 09:34:20

Why not tell him that you prefer men who are hairless and that when men have no pubes it makes the penis look larger....Then give him some hot wax strips.

Note... only do this if you are certain he won't do it!

If he knows you are not at all open to the idea he should STFU about it IMO.

NotAnApple Thu 23-Dec-10 09:52:11

He would do it ISNT! Although not with wax. He hasn't mentioned it for a while, it doesn't come up often but it does come up. I'd just quite like for him to get it.

dittany Thu 23-Dec-10 10:14:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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