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Help me think this through.

(23 Posts)
HarkTheHeraldEverything Mon 20-Dec-10 14:32:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tortington Mon 20-Dec-10 14:34:03

oh god there could be many reasons from her living with an abusive partner to her being a fucked up drug addict.

i think the nice thing to do is just give her some clothes if ytou have any

tethersjinglebellend Mon 20-Dec-10 14:38:37

Because having children is a right afforded to everyone- even those who make poor decisions.

Anything which penalises people for having children they can't afford punishes the children for existing.

The only measure which would not penalise children is forced sterilisiation; and that is not a route I think the state should go down.

HarkTheHeraldEverything Mon 20-Dec-10 14:39:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

muddleduck Mon 20-Dec-10 14:39:10

There is no point trying to speculate or judge. You will never know her story. Just help if you can.

coldtits Mon 20-Dec-10 14:42:39

I doubt very much that she has been selling the big issue for the requisite 5 years needed to pop out three children. She was probably in financially better circumstances.

The majority of Eastern Europe is catholic. It is quite probably that she had little to no access to birth control.

coldtits Mon 20-Dec-10 14:43:08

five children, sorry

YunoYurbubson Mon 20-Dec-10 14:46:23

If you give her the clothes:
Best case: Her children need them and use them. You feel good.
Worst case: She sells them and uses the money. You still feel good.

If you don't give her the clothes:
Best case: She didn't really need them anyway. You dont know this and feel bad.
Worst case: Her children could really have done with some new clothes. You feel bad.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo Mon 20-Dec-10 14:48:33

look it doesn't matter a jot why she is in the situation she is in with 5 dcs. teh bottom line is she has asked for help. you either give it or you don't. helping doesn't entitle you to pry into why she needs teh help or to judge. tehre could be a million and one reasons to choose from as to why she is there selling the big issue.

tethersjinglebellend Mon 20-Dec-10 14:50:11

I think you need to examine why you need to know whether or not she 'deserves' the clothes.

Would her children need the clothes any less if she were a drug addict, or her circumstances had come about by her own doing? Would you then need the clothes more?

You have spare clothes- give them to her. Whose fault her circumstances are has no bearing on the level of need.

ISNT Mon 20-Dec-10 14:53:06

I would be wondering why in the UK in 2010, a woman with 5 children is in the position of being long term homeless and having to sell the big issue TBH. I assume they have some kind of hostel to sleep in? It's bloody freezing out there...

StewieGriffinsMom Mon 20-Dec-10 14:58:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ISNT Mon 20-Dec-10 15:06:40

So she will have a roof over her head then?

ISNT Mon 20-Dec-10 15:07:22

I mean, doesn't our country provide warm shelter and food for children who are homeless? Seriously?

StewieGriffinsMom Mon 20-Dec-10 15:08:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ISNT Mon 20-Dec-10 15:08:48

I thought this sort of thing was why we had a bloody welfare state.

StewieGriffinsMom Mon 20-Dec-10 15:12:33

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ISNT Mon 20-Dec-10 15:18:08

Yes. But out on the streets selling the big issue type homeless when there are 5 children is just not on. This country is wealthy FGS.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo Mon 20-Dec-10 15:23:40

ISNT that is probably why this country is wealthy. the money doesn't go to those that need it.

tethersjinglebellend Mon 20-Dec-10 15:35:59

This is what pisses me off when I hear about how "the country hasn't got enough money for xyz"... Bollocks. It has.

Children should not have to live this way in a developed Western country.

StewieGriffinsMom Mon 20-Dec-10 15:44:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AliceWorld Mon 20-Dec-10 16:42:17

I'm not sure I'd say the country is wealthy so much as there are lots of wealthy people in this country. We have high private wealth, but lower public wealth here. And it is going to get worse. The welfare state is being reduced further.

And there could be a gazillion reasons why she has five children. Reproductive rights are something that have been hard fought and still are. And we're in a relatively good position here. If she comes from another country she may not have been in control of her own reproductive situation. There's loads of other reasons it could be, but there's a feminist slant.

HarkTheHeraldEverything Mon 20-Dec-10 17:03:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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