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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

Why is thin ''in''?

178 replies

poshsinglemum · 13/12/2010 18:18

Just wondering really. I have curves but I don't think I am fat yet I feel that I have to diet etc to fit some mysoginistic ideal. Do men really prefer thin women?

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BooBooGlass · 13/12/2010 18:23

No. Women prefer thin women imo. Just think of how many women put each other down by making catty remarks about their size. The same is just not true of men.

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LeninExcelsis · 13/12/2010 18:24

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LeninExcelsis · 13/12/2010 18:25

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BooBooGlass · 13/12/2010 18:27

I have read a lot about this subject fwiw, but am under the weather so may not give the most eloquent posts Blush
Basically, there is a lot to be said for denial and suffering. In the face of abundance, it shows remarkable restraint to be super thin. Somehow that is seen as admirable by some. There are of course people who are naturally thin and really, being truly obese will never be 'in' as it speaks generally of gluttony and greed, not qualities the patriarchy considers 'feminine'.
Susie Orbach and Kim Chernin are two great authors on this subject.

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Catchthewind · 13/12/2010 18:28

I have wondered this a lot.

Fitness - yes - we have an idealised view of a healthy, fit, slim and toned body.

Any excess fat is seen as unhealthy. Well, it probably isn't a bonus, healthwise.

So perhaps it draws from this ideal.

Though the 'too thin' thing is another matter entirely. I always felt it was to do with people who are too busy having a party and taking drugs to actually eat.

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LeninExcelsis · 13/12/2010 18:28

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iPaddle · 13/12/2010 18:29

Some men do.
Most people are attracted to a healthy appearance.
The media's parameters of sexy/attractive women are really really narrow. I actually think it's less about size than it is about tight, toned skin ( to the point that natural breasts, eg, soft, wobbly, are seen as frumpy ).
It's basically youth fetishised and presented as the ideal female Hmm

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Catchthewind · 13/12/2010 18:30

Maybe because food=comfort

those who require no comfort are often found attractive, as opposed to those who are needy

Maybe it's that.

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poshsinglemum · 13/12/2010 18:30

I think it's partly to do with health; too much fat IS unhealthy but excessive thiness as befits some catwalk models aint good either.

Models such as Chrystral Wrenn and Lara Stone are lovely and not too thin.

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noddyholder · 13/12/2010 18:31

My dp hates thin I love it.Clothes look better sadly as they are designed with thin in mind not because skinny women are more attractive.Most kids are thin so we associate it with youth and celebs too which associates it with money and adoration.I have been both and the skinnier I am the happier although i am ashamed and loathe to admit it.

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iPaddle · 13/12/2010 18:35

Patriarchy> media: women, you must be sexually attractive to matter. Btw, we pretty much are only attracted to you while you're pliable youthful.

Cue millions of women consuming like loons to stem the tide of age.

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iPaddle · 13/12/2010 18:39

But if it is a feminist issue then I've totally been brainwashed cos, like noddy, I much prefer to be thin and find thin far more attractive in others.

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MarshaBrady · 13/12/2010 18:42

Probably is linked with wealth.

Same the recent fashion for a tan, ye olden days a tan meant working outside etc etc. (although this isn't as desired as much, now a tan is easily faked).

Not all men prefer curvy women. As someone who isn't curvy with big boobs I (obviously!) attract men who don't want that.

As for the aging process. That does strike me as a very new phenomenon. Driving through Kensington on the weekend and saw the thinnest woman with the (artificially) plumpest face, with all the 'trimmings'. It is so recent, and more likely to be women who do it.

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BooBooGlass · 13/12/2010 18:44

Me too. But really, look at how 'normalised' eating problems have become. I don't know a single woman my age (late 20s) who has a healthy attitude towards food. Guilt is not somehting that should come into eating, but for most it does, on a daily basis.
It's interesting that flesh is essentially female. We are meant to have more fat than men, but increasingly we are trying to lose that fat, and for lots of people, wether they realise it or not, that's a power thing.

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headfairy · 13/12/2010 18:45

because so many clothes designers are gay it's become normalised in society to see very slim women wearing "desireable" clothes. Plus it takes money and effort for most people to stay thing. It's a bit like the suntan thing. What was once considered very common because it meant you spent all the time outside working, now indicates you have enough money to go somewhere exotic/get someone to spray some gunk at you.

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headfairy · 13/12/2010 18:46

x posts marsha :o

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MarshaBrady · 13/12/2010 18:47

I just think it's the models.

The models who wear the clothes make them look more desirable / more likely to attract buyers if they are very thin.

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biryani · 13/12/2010 18:48

Has anyone read "The Beauty Myth" by Naomi Woolf? Just reading it again after about 10 years. Her point is that women need to fit what she calls "The Iron Maiden" - a set of criteria basically set up by the media which has become the cultural norm of feminine desirability and which is based on thinness, youth and facial "perfection". it is sold to men- who swallow it wholesale, followed by women who desperately try to conform to it in order to fit the Iron Maiden version of desirability. Those who manage to conform are desired only for their looks and not for themselves, and those who don't conform (ie most of us) are deemed unattractive and therefore unworthy. So we can't win!! Interesting read, but depressing.

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MarshaBrady · 13/12/2010 18:48

Grin headfairy

The ol' tan chestnut!

And the ol' Rubenesque figure used to be in fashion.

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headfairy · 13/12/2010 18:49

I think the ageing thing is also a lot to do with what we can do now, previously anti ageing was a case of slapping on some cream but now we can pull, stretch, laser, and zap anything undesireable and it's becoming cheaper and more available so more and more people do it. Why we do it is another matter. Hard to resist the pull of the crowd sometimes.

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headfairy · 13/12/2010 18:50

Marsha, I'd be deeply in vogue... 300 years ago - very pale and definitely rounded :o

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noddyholder · 13/12/2010 18:51

Naomi wolf is a huge hypocrite

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MarshaBrady · 13/12/2010 18:53

Headfairy - very Lily Cole, Sophie Dahl (pre-thinness!).

It is still seen as beautiful imo, but just not used much on the catwalk I guess.

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headfairy · 13/12/2010 19:01

God I wish. Lily Cole has a very unusual face and Sophie Dahl is quite beautiful fat or thin, with such lovely skin. I'm sadly mousey wtih the haggard skin of a mother with a small child!

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MarshaBrady · 13/12/2010 19:11

I wasn't going to, but then I did, look at your profile.

You are the one with THE most beautiful children, the boy with the beautiful hair!! I wouldn't worry about the rest Grin

(I have beautiful boys too, biased, btw, it makes me feel better everyday!)

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