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New rape survey - "How Far is Too Far?"

(32 Posts)
UmYeahLikeTotally Wed 17-Nov-10 10:00:52

article here

How bloody difficult is it to understand that no means no?!

earwicga Wed 17-Nov-10 10:04:52

Wow! That is horrible.

'New statistics have revealed nearly half of young men still think sex with women too drunk to know what is going on is not rape.'

'And 46% of men aged 18 to 25 also do not consider it rape if the woman changes her mind during sex.'

'Astonishingly, even if a woman says "no" from the start, 23% of young men still believe sex after that point does not constitute rape.'

Pootles2010 Wed 17-Nov-10 10:10:29

Wish i hadn't read the comments.

UmYeahLikeTotally Wed 17-Nov-10 10:11:51

How can men STILL be saying in this era of "post feminism" hmm that they don't understand the boundaries?!

This is what sex ed should be used for! Not just the biology of sperm + egg = pregnant. All teenagers (boys and girls) should be taught the realities of relationships; with the message of No Means No highlighted!

earwicga Wed 17-Nov-10 10:16:34

Because we aren't human.

RealityBomb Wed 17-Nov-10 10:17:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QueenGigantaurofMnet Wed 17-Nov-10 10:26:38

There is no such thing as a point of no return. Your penis doesn't swell until orgasm. It doesn't lock into place.
The moment a woman says stop you remove your penis. It isn't difficult, it isn't complicated. You don't disregard her and you don't end up raping her.

What is so hard to understand?

UmYeahLikeTotally Wed 17-Nov-10 10:28:11

"The point of no return". What a load of bollocks.

IntergalacticHussy Wed 17-Nov-10 10:55:53

Perhaps Russy would like to spend some time at Her Majesty's Pleasure (as he deserves by the sounds of things), then come back and tell us what consensual sex is and what it isn't.

I know that's a horrible thing to say but some people are only capable of learning what pain is by experiencing the abuse they've inflicted for themselves.

earwicga Wed 17-Nov-10 11:00:04

The comments really are horrible. I only read 3 then gave up. It seems such a huge mountain to climb to teach people such a basic thing as informed consent.

booyhoo Wed 17-Nov-10 11:05:45

those comments are vile and leave me in no doubt as to why rape happens.

there is an overwhelming sense of entitlement to sex from those men posting.

disgusting.

sex is not a right.

LadyBlaBlah Wed 17-Nov-10 11:06:37

The whole no means no campaign has made the consent thing much more difficult for rape victims.

There is some excellent work by a feminist whose name escapes me whose research is categorical that it is very unrealistic that women are expected to say a categorical "no". In every other social situation, we are taught to say things without offence and with manners, e.g. a friend calls up to ask you out for dinner and you don't want to go, do you say "no." Or do you say " oh that would have been lovely but actually I have already eaten tonight and don't really have any money etc".

Yet, it is only is a sex situation, which is potentially dangerous if you do offend, that you are expected to be rude and categorical. Men are human beings and know this, and yet the law system perpetuates the consent myth because it suits misogyny.

LadyBlaBlah Wed 17-Nov-10 11:08:24

This comment from the article explains it nicely - the law allows men to take the piss

<<This story is not about violent rape cases but the blurry lines in consentual sex in todays society.
Personally I can't see how there can be any confussion. You like a girl, you get her number, take her out, and if she likes like she will make it clear and let you take her home. Simple.
But when so many people drunk on a Friday night with not more than a Barcardi Breezer and a "Hey Gorgeous" between a dance and the bedroom it is little wonder the rules of engagement need clarifying.
If your the kind of sad axe who can only get girls in bed when you are opperating in the grey area then you deserve any accusations and prosecution you get.
Sensible guys stay clear and play by the rules,>>

ElephantsAndMiasmas Wed 17-Nov-10 11:13:17

there are a couple of people on there who would warrant further investigation - Russy and MeltonMark. These shits are out in our town centres.

vezzie Wed 17-Nov-10 12:45:55

earwicga "because we aren't human"

I know what you mean, but - I have thought this often on other threads - sorry to be pedantic, but please can we remember to say something like "because we are not perceived as fully human". I know it's obvious really but there are all kinds of (sometimes wilful) idiots who might be reading this and the shorthand might be read as if we are agreeing that women are not human.

DooinMeCleanin Wed 17-Nov-10 12:52:32

Those comments are fucking ridiculous. Do people seriously still believe this shit? I guess they do sad

'OmicronPosted by: Omicron on November 17, 2010 12:26 PM

Women who wish to avoid the risk of being raped should perhaps consider not getting so drunk that they do not know (or care) what they are doing. If being drunk is not an excuse for a man who commits rape why is being drunk a defence for a woman?'

Er no, they only women can avoid being raped is if men stop raping them. I couldn't read any further than that angry

earwicga Wed 17-Nov-10 12:55:34

Agreed vezzie - I thought that after I pressed post.

anastaisia Wed 17-Nov-10 13:06:32

How about this instead:

Men who wish to avoid the risk of being accused of rape should perhaps consider not getting so drunk that they do not know (or care) what they are doing.

chocolatestar Wed 17-Nov-10 13:15:40

Can't face reading the comments. The point of no return is bullshit. If a guy was having sex with a girl and his mum, gran and aunty Jean walked in the room I am fairly certain he would be able to stop.

QueenGigantaurofMnet Wed 17-Nov-10 13:23:47

I consider the male argument about women getting drunk or dressing provocatively are asking for it ad comparable to saying an elderly woman carrying. Bag deserves to be mugged.

It is a pathetic and nonsensical argument.

whoknowswhatthefutureholds Wed 17-Nov-10 13:28:01

god those comments

queenofthecapitalwasteland Wed 17-Nov-10 14:06:43

Some of these people are scary shock.

All this survey has done is reinforce my view that when I go out I don’t drink alcohol, I stay with my friends, don’t wear anything too ‘provocative’ and make sure everyone gets home safely. Wouldn’t it be nice to go out and relax? sad

QueenGigantaurofMnet Wed 17-Nov-10 14:21:52

Maybe if some of the men commented got burgled and were. Sneered at by their neighbours, disbelieved by their colleagues and told by the media that it served them right for owning a plasma tv. Maybe then they'd see how ridiculous the argument is.

chocolatestar Wed 17-Nov-10 20:14:50

Read a few of the comments. What amazes me is the amount of people who seem to believe that the law somehow favours women. What planet are these people living on?

This has really depressed me today. It all seems so hopeless.

QueenGigantaurofMnet Wed 17-Nov-10 20:21:57

what has angered me more is that i have overheard women discussing this topic and have given similar views to those expressed on the comments of that article.

it is utterly depressing

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