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would you see this play?

(17 Posts)
GirlWithTheMouseyHair Sun 14-Nov-10 22:06:01

thankyou for letting me bang on about my production of A Doll's House - we're gearing up the marketing so I just wanted some contructive feedback if it' ok. The below i our general copy (which needs to be punchy and succint) for our website, facebook event etc:

"I couldn't sacrifice my name, my honour. No man would do that.
Plenty of women have"

A happy home. A beautiful family. A rich banker husband who loves you. What more could there be to life?

...What more could any woman want?

An all-female ensemble re-tell Ibsen's sensational story of one woman's emancipation, as through the eyes of a generation of women who were told they could have it all.

Pop-up theatre pioneers Theatre Delicatessen present a new imagining of A Doll's House that challenges the supposition that women and men are equal in the eyes of the law, the home and wider society. How far do women contort themselves in an equal world in order to fit its patriarchal customs, phyicalities, languages and emotions? With so much to choose, how much choice do you really have?

A Doll's House will be Theatre Delicatessen's final production at their current pop-up theatre venue on Picton Place, a stone's throw from St Christopher's Place but a world away from Selfridges, following on the successes of Mercury Fur and Theatre Souk.

earwicga Mon 15-Nov-10 08:47:49

All good apart from the snobby bit about Selfridges.

GirlWithTheMouseyHair Mon 15-Nov-10 09:07:08

fair play - it's part of the general pop-up theatre marketing and mash-up quote from previous reviews by Time Out, more about the building and company than specifically the show but that probably isn't clear.

Thanks for the response

GirlWithTheMouseyHair Mon 15-Nov-10 09:08:26

thinking maybe it ought to be "how much choice do you we really have"

dittany Mon 15-Nov-10 11:18:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dittany Mon 15-Nov-10 11:19:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GirlWithTheMouseyHair Mon 15-Nov-10 11:21:11

I think the point I'm trying to get across is we have been "told" we can have it all but actually there are still major obstacles in the way, and it is still the patriarchy that is telling us to have it all, but are ultimately dictating what choices we have....erm....does that make sense?

GirlWithTheMouseyHair Mon 15-Nov-10 11:21:23

but thankyou - will have a think ont

dittany Mon 15-Nov-10 11:32:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GirlWithTheMouseyHair Mon 15-Nov-10 11:37:08

cool - I get what you're saying, am trying to work out what I'm trying to say as well, and that maybe that is that is sexist...but it's good to know my intention isn't that clear, and it needs to be.

ugh I hate writing copy, I end writing thousands of words then having to condense it into a few. Ironically enough, it was my male co-Artistic Director who came up with the "have it all", and I came up with the line you love...

dittany Mon 15-Nov-10 11:52:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GirlWithTheMouseyHair Mon 15-Nov-10 11:56:08

picky is good...we only have one shot at getting it right. Annoyingly it's just the 1st 2 paragraphs on the flyers which have already been printed.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Mon 15-Nov-10 13:03:16

""I couldn't sacrifice my name, my honour. No man would do that.
Plenty of women have"

A happy home. A beautiful family. A rich banker husband who loves you. What more could there be to life? (I would scrap this last sentence)

...What more could any woman want?

An all-female ensemble re-tell Ibsen's sensational story of one woman's emancipation, as through the eyes of a generation of women who were told they could have it all "were free to live their lives free from sexism" or "as they wanted?" maybe?

Pop-up theatre pioneers Theatre Delicatessen present a new imagining of A Doll's House that challenges the COMPLACENT MODERN VIEW that women and men are equal in the eyes of the law, the home and wider society. How far do women contort themselves in an equal world in order to fit its IN WITH patriarchal customs, phyicalities, languages and emotions? With so much to choose, how much choice do you really have?"

something like that anyway. sounds good!

ElephantsAndMiasmas Mon 15-Nov-10 13:10:01

sorry that was a bit unclear. this is what I mean. Have changed a couple of other bits too here and there:

"I couldn't sacrifice my name, my honour. No man would do that.
Plenty of women have"

A happy home. A beautiful family. A rich banker husband who loves you.

...What more could any woman want?

An all-female ensemble re-tell Ibsen's sensational story of one woman's emancipation, through the eyes of a generation who were told that sexism was dead.

Pop-up theatre pioneers Theatre Delicatessen present a new imagining of A Doll's House that challenges the complacent modern view that women and men are equal in the eyes of the law, their families and wider society. How far do women contort themselves in order to fit in with patriarchal customs, phyicalities, languages and emotions?

With so much to choose, how much choice do women really have?

GirlWithTheMouseyHair Mon 15-Nov-10 13:13:31

that was very clear and very constructive - thankyou

Lio Mon 15-Nov-10 13:33:01

phyicalities - you prob already spotted this. If you need to lose words, that 'contort' sentence is the one I would lose.

Good idea if you can avoid the phrase 'having it all' IMO. Using it endorses it/propogates it, even in your questioning context.

You prob already agonised too about ensemble tell/tells. My preference is tells, but it wouldn't put me off seeing the play smile

Lio Mon 15-Nov-10 13:35:35

Also agree that 'What more could there be to life' could go.

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