So, are you attracted to 'feminist nightmare' blokes? If so, does it annoy or amuse you?(65 Posts)
I hope this is ok, I fancied a light-hearted thread for saturday night, and with luck some of you will still be aware to help me ponder.
DH has just introduced me to Ashes to Ashes and obviously (er ... for a MNer ...), I went and searched out the Telly thread on here. I discover that masses of apparently sane women have huge crushes on Gene Hunt, who (in case you don't know), plays a sort of caricature 1970s misogynist/sex pest.
And I sort of know what they mean.
I wondered how many of us who are feminists, do feel attracted to the very 'wrong' men? Is it excusable because it's a fantasy or should we be having strong words with ourselves?
I dunno - not sure I go for that particular kind of character. But if you do, it could be because you know they're in a safe place (locked in the telly) so it's just a fantasy. Presumably in real life you'd want to kick someone talking like that in the cock?
Well, I guess so ... I am slightly concerned that perhaps I'd just grin and enjoy taking the piss?
I've not met anyone who was very sexist but also had a sense of humour, so I don't know!
Btw, I expect you saw through the subtle name-change, but it does feel strange posting under this!
Arguing and sexual attraction sit cheek by jowl in my world I'm afraid... so it's precisely the feeling generated by arguing which would do it IYSWIM.
I don't feel odd about it though. I mean, there is a difference between being attracted to someone and wanting them to be your life partner and father your children.
Do you know - I really didn't! If you are who I think you are of course. Did you NC for this?
I doubt there is anyone who is very sexist but also has a sense of humour. Because underlying sexism there is a core of pure whiney little boy "you must respect me! and my willyyyyyyy! yes you must!" that is deeply pathetic. People can't be that funny IMO if they take themselves seriously. And blimey do sexist men take themselves seriously. IME of course
Thanks tether, that is a lovely way to put it.
I was mostly just being amused that I know MN is full of bright women who wouldn't stand any of that crap in RL ... but they're all over it on TV!
Elephants - No, I did not NC for this!
(I don't have that much shame)
I changed because I'm teaching next term and am quite identifiable, so it seemed a good idea. It feels odd though, I keep being friendly to people who ignore me! I must resolve to be very, very kind to newbies.
I think you are right in what you say about true sexists not having a sense of humour. This is a bit of a constant worry with me because my ex was not the nicest guy, and when I think about it, he thought he had a sense of humour but not when it came to laughing at anything but women.
However, I would love to see if anyone who fancies the sexist alpha males could come on this thread and explain it?
Hmm no I seem to be attracted to either intelligent or quite androgynous men. Really don't think I'd cope with the beery misogynist type tbh.
I'm racking my brains to think of any "twatty" men I like, hmm....
Nope I'm coming up blank, maybe the twatty boys I saw my friend's pairing up with as a teeneger put me off.
Any kind of "Man's man, raaaargh hear me roar" is 100% guaranteed to put me off.
Actually I can offer Russell Brand, but he's quite intelligent ahd thoughtfull, along with being a serial shagger lol.
Oops, sorry Elephants, I misread your post - I hope I'm who you think I am, otherwise I will feel a twat!
I kept the same acronym, but I did think about changing to SmallOrangeWyvern.
yeah agreed tethersend. I love arguing, the right kind of arguing (we can argue about what the right kind is if you like but I might get all unnecessary).
I met my ex-boyfriend when a group of us had planned a night out. One girl dragged him along (who nobody knew except her) and simpered "can lovely [name] come along with us as well?", and amid of chorus of "of course, it's fine!"s I looked him in the eye and just said "No".
Ew, Lady, Russell Brand? [boak]
I seem to be alone.
<feels feminist credentials slipping away>
Er ... I do have a crush on Keeley Hawes in the same programme, does that redeem me at all?
I love SmallOrangeWyvern! or PetiteCrimsonFirebreather perhaps?
I know Loud, but to me he does actually seem to like women in every sense of the word, which is refreshing. What can I say I'm odd
My DH has definite misogynist tendencies, but I like to think the fact that he married me proves they aren't too deep-seated, as I challenge him on them every time
My dad is also guilty of misogeny- he gets a frequent tongue-lashing too! Funnily enough they both come out with the "yeah, but most women..." line, as if I am somehow different, which enrages me
I'll admit, I do quite like the thought of taking an inherently sexist man and making him betray his sexist principles.
I like both, but I did a minor NC for halloween recently and realized that I am too dyslexic - if I see initials that aren't 'mine' I struggle!
Besides which, much as I would love to be petite, I'm not! DH, bless him, just told someone I'm a size 8 ... would it were true.
Fair enough LadyFnar (wonderful name, I just imagine it in a Country Living caption ... 'Lady Caroline Fnar, lately of Boggington House, Essex, says ....').
I do find men who genuinely don't like women very disturbing.
I love the Gene Hunt character, but wouldn't stand for sexism in my own partner (beyond a tongue-in-cheek jokiness).
I think the reason that the Gene Hunt archetype is appealing is that it chimes with the understandable fantasy that sexist men are at core big softies who will actually act with integrity. We know that in reality this is not the case, but we would love to dream that it could all turn around with the love of a good woman.
If any real life man uttered that kind of shite, it would merely be the tip of a very ugly iceberg, but the television character fits with our desire to believe that people can be redeemed.
Jooly - what a great justification! I do think that is part of the appeal for me ... you want to convince them. But then again, I don't know what it would be like to actually live with a non-feminist bloke. I suppose I am curious as my lovely DH is as far from sexist as you can get.
My dad is quite sexist but sadly, I have no ability and little patience when it comes to trying to change his ideas.
JoolyJoo my dp actually said to me once that he was a misogynist . Honestly I wish this section had been around at that time, I would have flamed him to kingdom come.
Thing is though, in his thoughts and actions he is not a misogynist at all. Maybe it's ingrained in boys at a certain age that Women are the enemy .
I honestly truly widh I was a Lesbian.
BOF - I would love it if this were true (for me), and I think you and Jooly are saying similar things. I am just not quite certain my own subconscious is as admirable as yours!
I wouldn't want to tolerate a genuinely sexist man in RL, that I know. But I am not sure that the attraction for me springs from the desire to redeem someone!
I wonder why he thinks he should say he's a misogynist?
I just have to say though, being a lesbian doesn't entirely protect you from sexism - a female friend of mine has a wife who sometimes comes out with gobsmackingly sexist statements.
Yes that's true loud, actually in my revised history, should time travel be invented, without negating the creation of my children (very specific daydream there) I would be a spinster with many books and cats. I doubt I will live to retirement age, this is all I have .
God Gene Hunt....droooooooool.
I think personally...that I am a bolshy woman who doesn't let anyone boss her around...man or woman...and so it's necassary for me to fancy men like Gene in order to have some relief from the effort of being constantly rock about things which women are traditionally...not rock about.
God knows why he would say that btw Lady he's a very buttoned up type, doesn't do sharing feelings. I often feel I don't know him, but they say you should take notice of actions, not feelings/words. He has rarely been less than kind tbh, he acts in a non misogynistic way, so god knows.
FMGS - jyaby posted this quote from Cold Comfort Farm the older day, yours reminded me:
Like all really strong-minded women, on whom everybody flops, she adored being bossed about. It was so restful.
Restful! That's it...if Gene would just be here for a few hours of an evening and chuck his weight about a bit, I could face each new day with a fresh perspective!
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