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Why is "cocksucker" an insult?

(29 Posts)
ElephantsAndMiasmas Thu 11-Nov-10 23:51:15

I find it very strange that most men are pretty keen on having their cocks sucked. Yet many use "cocksucker" as an insult. I don't get it. Anyone?

BitOfFun Thu 11-Nov-10 23:51:52

It's being the subordinate, isn't it?

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Thu 11-Nov-10 23:54:22

It's in the same category as men liking to get laid and also using "slut" as an insult - I want this from you, but if you give it to me freely you've lost and I win. Sex as battleground.

And cocksucking has all those submissive connotations (seen as purely one-sided act, down on knees, etc), so worse. Levelled at a man, it's also "you are gay and submissive and <shudders> practically a woman, eurgh".

GrimmaTheNome Thu 11-Nov-10 23:54:29

I think I've only heard it applied to men, which presumably makes it a dire insult in the tiny mind of any red-blooded homophobe.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Fri 12-Nov-10 00:01:15

it just seems strange that someone is being insulted for doing something (seen by most as) very nice?

I can't imagine insulting a man with "pussy-licker".

ElephantsAndMiasmas Fri 12-Nov-10 00:02:38

do only men use this word then?

I wondered if it was something to do with being gay.

So it's said by men, to/about men exclusively?

GrimmaTheNome Fri 12-Nov-10 00:03:07

The point is that they wouldn't want to do it themselves (or admit to wanting to).

AitchTwoOh Fri 12-Nov-10 00:06:35

basically it's a chap calling another chap a right old nellie, elephants.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Fri 12-Nov-10 00:12:46

a right old nellie?

<wonders if this is personal jibe at pachyderm status>

AitchTwoOh Fri 12-Nov-10 00:14:17

just a happy coinkydink. <sings nellie the elephant>

ElephantsAndMiasmas Fri 12-Nov-10 00:21:23

right old nellie eh. I see angry <packs trunk>

So it's just an imaginative way of saying "gay man".

Does anyone else find it a bit...weird that it's used as an insult?

ElephantsAndMiasmas Fri 12-Nov-10 00:21:50

lovely singing btw Aitch

AitchTwoOh Fri 12-Nov-10 00:23:19

no, because telling a man that he sucks other men's boabies is the worst insult in all of the world, if one is a moron. and there are pleeeeehhhenty of morons.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Fri 12-Nov-10 00:28:21

wait - is that what boabies means? My glaswegian mate used to darkly mutter "that's boaby" about anything he didn't like much.

TheBigZing Fri 12-Nov-10 00:37:32

I agree that it's about being gay. 'Rug muncher' or 'muff diver' I have heard as lesbian equivalents.

AitchTwoOh Fri 12-Nov-10 00:39:37

that is indeed what boaby means. suck ma boaby being a particularly crude/amusing expression.

electrokin Fri 12-Nov-10 00:55:05

I honestly don't think the intent is merely the gay connotation.

It carries the same negative connection of any suggestion that a man assume the supposed "female" role in sex. It is tied to the general perception from a significant and unpleasant amount of society that since women are inferior to men, saying a man takes the role of a woman is insulting to him. It is doubly powerful because it's crudity rolls in all the hideous perceptions of sexually active (possibly even eager) women, which is that they are dirty, lesser people there to be used by men.

Essentially since society has put so much effort into identifying a womans role in sex as submissive and degraded, to suggest a man take that role is a pretty powerful insult.

BitOfFun Fri 12-Nov-10 01:14:48

You can't overthink sexually-based crude insults though: most of them are based on the 'mouthfeel' of the word more than the meaning. Who means 'motherfucker' in all seriousness? And what about 'wanker'- who doesn't wank?

ElephantsAndMiasmas Fri 12-Nov-10 01:25:18

"mouthfeel" - very good BoF.

I know what you mean. I don't suppose that people who call each other "dickhead" are really in opposition to cockends per se.

But I think electrokin has a point, it seems to be saying that for men to be sucking cock is demeaning, but it's fine for women to be doing so. Homophobia or sexism? Or a delightful mulch of both?

Also, you know, what tortoise said hours ago <slow in the head>

SupposedToBeWorking Fri 12-Nov-10 11:15:29

What, is 'dickhead' about cockends? Not penises wobbling about on foreheads?

<way slower in the head than Elephants>

Seriously, I need to know. I have an unofficial role as slang-explainer to international students. I might need to devise a whole new set of descriptive gestures.

Ormirian Fri 12-Nov-10 11:16:42

I suppose it's submissive. Same reason that some men are terrified of being thought gay hmm

colditz Fri 12-Nov-10 11:20:12

Well, if you are a male cocksucker, you're not getting your own cock sucked, are you? you are giving something away - being cheated.

Female cock suckers, of course, don't get any pleasure from sex anyway, so they simply have something in their mouths. It's not like they even have a cock.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Fri 12-Nov-10 11:41:24

Sorry colditz I know it's not really funny but at "It's not like they even have a cock."


Think you're probably right. Except I would add "they simply have something in their mouths, demonstrating a proper respect for The Cock and Manliness in General.

RibenaBerry Fri 12-Nov-10 13:52:57

It has a double whammy isn't it. Can imply female or gay, both terrible insults to a certain sort of man.

But then, lots of insults convey the idea of a man as female - referring to someone 'crying like a girl' for example.

AdelaofBlois Fri 12-Nov-10 14:43:57

Men are supposed to be heterosexually active predators. Cocksucking is supposedly insulting because it implies submission and gayness; wanking because it implies an inability to predate. Why men use words specifically about their own genetalia as gendered insults (cock, dickhead) I don't know, although there is a also a long standing trophe that manliness is about control-perhaps the suggestion is that reducing men to their dicks is offensive, that they should be actively in control of their own huge sexualities.

Interestingly, even Latin (and especially Greek) more commonly uses 'c*nt licker' as a rough equivalent-the submissiveness trumping the heterosexuality. Variations on a theme, though.

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