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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

Are we our own worse enemies?

10 replies

thefinerthingsinlife · 03/11/2010 17:24

So often I hear both teenage girls and women using derogitory words against each other i.e. that girl is such a slut/slapper/slag etc!

My female cousin has liked a page on fb that says "They say sex is good excersize, but most slags are fat" This makes me so sad.

Why do we do this to each other??

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sethstarkaddersmum · 03/11/2010 20:22

no, we're not our own worst enemies, because we have worse enemies (ie the patriarchy - not all men, but men who are keen on keeping hold of male power).

and I think the comment 'oh, women are their own worst enemies' can be used against women, ie it can be a way of blaming women for stuff that is actually caused by men just as much or more. Eg when you get those horrible articles in the Daily Mail slagging off slebs for having saggy knees or whatever, and they are always written by a woman, one might say 'there you see, women are just so bitchy' but the bottom line is, it is most likely a man who commissioned the article.

but you are right, it is a shame when women undermine each other. Why do we do it.... good question....lots of reasons probably.... habit, currying favour with men, being human and therefore imperfect, buying into dominant narratives about what women should be like, which actually benefit men most of all....

it's a really interesting question, I think.

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JaneS · 03/11/2010 22:07

'Are we are our own worst enemies' sounds to me like Karren Brady's (crappy) rhetoric. Why should I feel responsible for what some other woman does? Wouldn't it be a bit paternalistic if I thought I were responsible for her (poor uneducated, unfeminist dear)?

It's a key stereotype of misogynist writing through the ages: one woman has acted like this, therefore they are all capable of it and should be treated as such.

So I agree with seth, which some added Angry.

Smile

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earwicga · 04/11/2010 10:41

Sounds like your cousin needs to be introduced to Scarleteen www.scarleteen.com/

She might pick up on some positive sex ed.

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thefinerthingsinlife · 04/11/2010 11:05

Thanks for that link.

I probably should of worded the title better. I'm just sick of women using nasty slang to descibe each other. Why do it to each other when so many men do it to us already.

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earwicga · 04/11/2010 11:09

I know what you mean finer. The bullying I have experienced in all women workplaces is horrendous. I wish the notion of 'Sisterhood' really existed.

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ElephantsAndMiasmas · 04/11/2010 11:18

What is the notion of Sisterhood exactly?

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earwicga · 04/11/2010 11:22

I don't really know Elephants. It is something I used to believe existed. That women would always have women's backs sort of thing.

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ElephantsAndMiasmas · 04/11/2010 11:49

I doubt anyone has ever said that it actually exists then earwicga - sounds more like something that feminists have promoted as an ideal to aim for: a world where women will support each other and not see each other as competition in the patriarchal framework.

Sometimes I see "the sisterhood" used to say that women shouldn't argue with each other. This seems odd to me - we are humans and humans don't always agree with each other. We don't expect all men to get on do we?

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earwicga · 04/11/2010 12:09

No, it's not a notion of being superhuman.

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ElephantsAndMiasmas · 04/11/2010 12:26

Anyway, in answer to the OP. No I don't think we are our own worst enemies. In fact, women have been the best allies of other women through the ages. This doesn't mean some women aren't sexist arses etc. But nearly all the progression that women have made has been through the work of women.

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