Painful penetration - Tmi warning

(11 Posts)
ObviousNameChange2 Mon 20-Jul-20 15:33:53

Hi, I find penetrative sex really painful. I'm trying to word this delicately but sorry if it's a bit graphic. It's like my partner can only go in so far before it gets too painful to continue. It feels like there is something blocking the rest of the way. When we tried to go further, it makes me cry out in pain. It doesn't matter how warmed up I am, or how much lube we use. It's the same if I use a vibrator on my own. I've read about psychological issues that can cause painful sex but I'm 99% sure it's not that in my case.

I gave birth six years ago, vaginally by ventouse and tore, and had an episiotomy, but apparently everything healed well. My problem has been since then. I went to the doctors once about the pain, they examined me and said everything looks fine and sent me on my way.

One thing I've noticed, I've been looking with a mirror, and I think my cervix is very low down. From what I've read online, some women can struggle to find their cervix, I'm sure I can always see mine, and it doesn't seem to like it moves during my cycle like I've read it should. No problems with my periods or anything like that though. I don't know what was normal for me before pregnancy because I had never looked. Nobody ever commented on it during any examination or smear etc so it might not be relevant but just mentioning it in case it could be.

I'm not really sure what to do next, whether this is something most women go through and I just have to deal with or if it can be fixed?

OP’s posts: |
puffylovett Mon 20-Jul-20 15:53:36

I think this warrants further investigation and you need to go back to your GP for a referral. I don’t think you should be able to see your cervix in a mirror?

ThisIsTheBadger Mon 20-Jul-20 16:23:36

You might want them to check that you haven't prolapsed since then, as that would certainly make it hurt.

ObviousNameChange2 Mon 20-Jul-20 17:02:00

Thanks for the replies. A prolapse sounds scary. Is that something that can be cured? If that's what it is, I'm surprised nobody ever noticed when I've been examined or had a smear etc, but I don't know how easy it would be for them to spot.

puffylovett I'm sure it is my cervix, it looks like it from what I've seen on Google. I feel like having a baby has completely wrecked my body tbh.

OP’s posts: |
MissRabbitIsExhausted Mon 20-Jul-20 17:06:35

You need to go back to your gp.
It could be a prolapse like pp said.
I also have an issue with painful sex since a birth similar to yours and I am having a small operation to have scar tissue removed, so it could even be something like that?
I've been seeing a hospital consultant for the last 2 years about it and there is different things they can try to help you. Go back and insist on a referral to a gynaecologist.

Timeforabiscuit Mon 20-Jul-20 17:13:49

Not wanting to go into too much detail on a public internet forum, but do you have the same pain during sex as you would inserting a tampon, having a smear, or using your own fingers? Also is the pain the same regardless of your body position?

I'm not medically trained, but just to see if that could narrow down the possible problems? Skin irritation, an infection, scar tissue, muscle loss, pelvic floor, not to mention mental trauma and lots else to consider too I'm sure.

I hope you can get a good GP or a referral, but please don't put up with it.

ObviousNameChange2 Mon 20-Jul-20 17:40:38

Not wanting to go into too much detail on a public internet forum, but do you have the same pain during sex as you would inserting a tampon, having a smear, or using your own fingers? Also is the pain the same regardless of your body position?

I haven't tried to use a tampon since giving birth (I'm too scared).
Fingers are fine.
A smear feels slightly painful, but nowhere near as bad as penetration.
The pain is worse in certain positions - I think me on top is one of the worst.

MissRabbitIsExhausted when I went in originally about the pain, she did say something about scar tissue inside. She didn't seem concerned by it but that is something else to consider. Thank you. I will ask to be referred. With the gps, it seems like you always have to know what you need, and ask for it, rather than just being told what you need. I find it very confusing!

OP’s posts: |
FallingIguanas Mon 20-Jul-20 17:50:42

This does sound like it could be a prolapse especially when you say it's worse when you are on top and that you can see your cervix.

There are lots of options for a prolapse from exercises (pelvic floor) via a women's health physio to surgery. I'd speak to your GP and you could download the NHS Squeezy app in the meantime and start some strengthening exercises as this is what they'll ask you to do initially.

ObviousNameChange2 Fri 24-Jul-20 02:24:14

I'm always trying to do pelvic floor exercises... at least I do my best attempt, I'm never sure if I'm doing them right. I have got eds and I've been reading that prolapses can be more likely. I really hope it's not that though, I hate the thought that my insides are spilling out. I have enough body issues as it is. I will get that app though. Thank you.

OP’s posts: |
Savingshoes Mon 03-Aug-20 19:09:17

If you look up women's physio therapy on YouTube there's lots of research to suggest that with certain types of exercise and using gravity, you can reduce the symptoms significantly.
I would get a referral to a women's PT or refer yourself if you can.

Milbo Mon 03-Aug-20 19:11:35

Look up vulval vestibulodynia. I struggled for years before I could get a diagnosis and find treatment. It could be many things but VV is more common than you’d think.

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in