Fibromyalgia husband blames me

[karisa282]

Hi I have fibromyalgia and I have chronic back pain since having 2 c sections as well has lower back pain from my early 20s before I met husband

He has told me across the dinner table that I'm not treating myself and "isn't it pathetic that someone aged 30 has this pain "

And I told him no one knows what causes it and he said whatever and motioned with his hand that the conversation between us is over .

I feel he's Not emotionally supportive
I can't take the meds because of breast feeding and most pain medicine has a side effect of sleepiness .

[Seahorse77]

I don't think that's very supportive of your husband at all Hope you are ok x

[gourd]

FIbro is a set of symptoms sinilar ylto and rekated to Chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS or ME) which develop over a long period of time coming to a head at some point where you may get a duagnosus. These conditions are caused by chronic stress (or trauma/PTSD) and aknowledging and dealing with the stress including difficult relationships where you are undervalued, not listened to or controlled is oart of the recovery process. Im not sponsored by them but do have a look at "The Chrysalis Effect" CFS and Fibro support website. You dont have to sign up to anything that costs money, but you can access some free resorlurces there to get you started on your recovery and to help you understand the illness, causes, triggers and what can be done about them so you can get better.

You will need lots of practical and emotional support, so you will need to find that elsewhere if your husband cant provide that.

He may be in denial of course. Its hard seeing someone you love suffer and feeling powerless to help them - the anger at you being in pain might be cos he doesn't know what to do or how to help and hopes to just jolly you out if it or that he can ignore it and hope it will go away - it wont, it needs a massive amount of work to get better, but the more informed you are about causes and what to do to address them the more you can take charge of your recovery. I hope your husband is able to support you in this as it can be a difficult and emptional journey, but do find other sources of support. It can be a long road, but you can get better.
Very best of luck with recovery.

[dustibooks]

Some people don't have an ounce of empathy in their body and tend to view people with an illness as having a lack of moral fibre, and architects of their own misfortune.

[gourd]

Ah yes having small infant/breadtfeeding does not help lain levels. Stress stress kack of sleep more sress.. try to get some good practical and emotional support. Find a group you can go to. Ask family/friends to help with household stuff/shopping/bathing chikd etc so you can take a few minutes ir hakf an hour to rekax. Yoga is good if you are a yoga oerson but try anything that makes you feel peaceful, takes your kind off chikd and your pain and makes you happy. Colouring, reading, mindfulness/relaxation/breathing exercises, a half an hour warm and uninterrupted bath.. you need that. Relaxation helps greatly with reducing pain levels, as does having emotional support/someone to talk to/moan to and good quality, and possibly baby-free, face-to-face time with close friends (not mumsnet/online ones!) Stress and lack of sleep make pain worse! Rekax relax relax!!!

[gourd]

Ah yes dustibooks - you are right.. and those people are often the sorce of the stress that makes people ill.. its why people who give give give, and strive to be the best mum they can be, put others first before themselves etc are much more likely to develop cfs or fibro symptoms than those who take take take and dont really emoathise with other hunan beings! It is time to put yourself furst OP because noone else will and if you are miserable and ill noone else will be happy either - so take time for yourself now, really focus on getting better by making that the priority. If mum is fit and well and happy then everyone else will be as well.

[blackcat86]

Counselling and an acupressure mat (one of the cheapie Ebay ones) really helped me. I resisted any sort of diagnosis but was struggling with symptoms after DD (also a section which caused tendonitis in my lower back) and changing my relationships and wellbeing has been very powerful. Simply things like a few nice hello fresh boxes have helped bring a spark back to my life as well as major things like changing jobs, working on boundaries, improving my marriage etc.

[Maxymoo1]

Hi everyone,

So I'm 31 and have just received a letter following my latest smear test to say that I have HPV. There is no mention of what strain but I have no abnormal cells and I will be re tested in one years time.

I've read a lot online this afternoon but I'm still quite confused! I've had regular smear tests every 3 years and they have always been normal, I've been with my husband for 8 years. I understand that HPV can lie dormant for years and if that's the case with me which I assume is the case, does anyone know why it becomes active? I've read that most people get rid of it in 2 years but if it's been dormant for years does that mean you have really got rid of it or just made it dormant again if that makes sense?

I'm confused and trying not to worry too much

[Maxymoo1]

So sorry I meant to post as a new post not on this thread! I'll work out how to delete it! Xx

[TeacupDrama]

@Maxymoo1 I'm sorry to hear this but you will get better advice if you start your own thread as this thread is about fibro and CFS

HPV is also what causes cold sores and the virus can lie dormant for years I used to have a lot of cold sores then didn't have one for over 8 years then I got a couple and again have had none for probably 4 years now so it is entirely possible it has been dormant for years

[TeacupDrama]

x post

[scottgirl]

HPV does not cause cold sores.