Still suffering two years after EMCS

[Illeana]

Two years after giving birth via EMCS I’m still suffering pain. There’s a numb area on my lower stomach and it feels sore to the touch. My stomach still looks pregnant and people comment on it. The doctor has diagnosed a 2cm diastasis but said there’s nothing that can be done other than Pilates.

I was absolutely huge during pregnancy even though I only gained about 35lb. Post birth I only weighed 7lb more than normal. Nobody seems able to explain why I was so enormous. My stomach is loose, wrinkled and stretchmarked, I was crying every time I saw it so I had to get rid of all the mirrors in the house. There’s a permanent bright red painful line along my pelvic crease where the loose skin overhangs. I can’t run because it hurts when it flaps up and down. I often have to manually adjust the position of my belly and lift it up so it’s not being crushed. I can’t wear normal clothes. Meanwhile I see women who claim to have gained double the weight I did or even had multiple babies, but they’ve gone back to normal with normal looking tummies and no visible stretch marks or loose skin.

I’ve seen the GP a few times but the only response I get is a shrug and “numbness is a common side effect of CS and loose skin is common after pregnancy, yeah you have a diastasis but so what, you need to lower your expectations of what your body will be like post pregnancy”. I feel like I’ve been injured and not rehabilitated, I lack core strength and I suffer constant discomfort. I’ve been told not to do ab exercises because it’ll make my diastasis worse so basically I feel like an entire range of movement has been permanently forbidden. No support or treatment to help me recover, I’ve just been told not to use my stomach muscles for the rest of my life. I feel like I’m stuck in this state because nobody cares. And I feel like I’m being gaslighted and told my condition is normal and acceptable when it’s not. The only treatment I’ve been offered is antidepressants - because when your body is a mess the obvious treatment is pills to make you feel less unhappy about it? Unsurprisingly I’ve cancelled plans for any further babies because I feel like I have enough damage and pain already without making it worse.

Is it unreasonable to expect to go back to normal after pregnancy? To look normal and be able to move and exercise normally and not suffer pain? I feel incredibly angry and jealous every time I see another mum looking normal, I keep crying and wondering why this has happened to me. In my lowest moments I’ve threatened suicide because I feel like I’ve just been left like this. Everyone expects me to just get on with working and looking after my child and just suffer in silence.

[motortroll]

Poor you sounds so awful. You're right to feel fibbed off. Of course we expect post pregnancy changes but pain and discomfort in the long term is not right!

Look locally to see if there's any post baby exercise classes that specialise with distasis. One of my friends in my area does and works with women on exercise to help heal/strengthen. It doesn't matter how long after baby is born, she works with anyone!

I'm north Hampshire btw in case you are close enough for a recommendation!

[Tiredmumma27]

I feel similar to you about my downstairs. Since I gave birth 2 years ago I never shrank not even a little. I’m in pain all the time, my back hurts, my hips hurt, can’t feel sex.

Doctors say the same, you have had a baby what do you expect, do kegels. They don’t work. I have also felt suicidal, I feel I’m never going to have a sex life again. All other mums say they are exactly the same post birth. I never want children again the first one really ruined me.

All I can think of is surgery get my downstairs tightened. You can have a tummy tuck need to start saving.