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How did you make 3 kids and working work for you?

(9 Posts)
fionnthedog Tue 10-Oct-17 22:06:13

I know there's other threads on this but wanted some inspirational stories of how you've managed to get back to work after DC3.

But of background. We currently have two DCs aged 2 and 4. DH works full time (earns more me!) and I work three days a week. My childcare is a hodge podge of pre school, childminder and parents in law to keep cost down as my salary is ok but not mind blowing!!

I'm keen to try for DC3 but a friend made a throwaway comment along the lines of "I don't know anyone whose managed to get back to work after DC3" which I know is probably utter garbage but I can't get it out of my head.

How have people made it work with three? inspire me!! I work mostly for my mental health / sanity so would really be loathe to give it up - but trying to work out if that means no more kids (which also makes me a bit sad!!)

Thirtyrock39 Tue 10-Oct-17 22:08:11

Easier financially if you can find a school hours working pattern but the flip side of that is you have no time to yourself as you're either at work or with the kids
Wait till the youngest gets nursery funding

CannotEvenThink Tue 10-Oct-17 22:20:44

Dc3 was 1 when I went full time including some very long hours. Started off with childminder who had baby full time, dc2 did their 15hrs at nursery then was picked up by childminder and dc1 was at school and went to same childminder for wrap around.
She stopped minding and no other ones with spaces so we then got a live out nanny which financially made sense for 3 of them when not all at school.
All at school now so they all do wrap around with a different childminder.

You just make it work really. In between childminder and recruiting nanny we had a random selection of childcare and it does get crazy when doing multiple drop off and pick up but realistically it is only for a short time and before long they are all in school and life gets a bit easier.

I'm only part time these days which helps too!

CannotEvenThink Tue 10-Oct-17 22:20:46

Dc3 was 1 when I went full time including some very long hours. Started off with childminder who had baby full time, dc2 did their 15hrs at nursery then was picked up by childminder and dc1 was at school and went to same childminder for wrap around.
She stopped minding and no other ones with spaces so we then got a live out nanny which financially made sense for 3 of them when not all at school.
All at school now so they all do wrap around with a different childminder.

You just make it work really. In between childminder and recruiting nanny we had a random selection of childcare and it does get crazy when doing multiple drop off and pick up but realistically it is only for a short time and before long they are all in school and life gets a bit easier.

I'm only part time these days which helps too!

Lillylollylandy Mon 12-Mar-18 19:49:27

FT WOHP here. 3 kids, at childminder, nursery and school. We are lucky that although all 3 are at different settings, they're within walking distance of each other and our house. It can be done!

MotherofaSurvivor Mon 12-Mar-18 19:53:11

I totally misread this title as "How did you make 3 kids?"

<sneaks out of back door quietly>

DespicableMeh Mon 12-Mar-18 20:17:30

FT WOHM with three children here. I was ft before my first and went back ft when they were five month's old, used a local childminder from 8am to 5.30pm. My salary was around £17kpa in South of England, so not great.

DC2 arrived 18 months later and also went to same CM, no discount, from 6 months old when I went back ft. Wage was roughly the same and I used salary sacrifice for childcare vouchers - childcare was over £1k each month.

DC3 was born four years later, I had transferred roles internally and was on c£25k. I had planned to take off a year, but I was informally asked to come back early, so negotiated a £10k payrise and a FWA for a ft role which allowed me to WFH 50% of the time.

Seven years later, I've got one at secondary and two in primary. FWA allows me some flex for pickups on a few days and I drop off most days. I have a reciprocal arrangement with another parent to cover the days I can't manage - and we know each other well enough to be able to tell each other's children off and have an arrangement that either of us can stop at any point with no explanation required.

As I've not had much of a career break, I'm now on £50k pa, (happy with that as the role doesn't eat into time past 5pm and I don't have a degree or industry qualifications), plus bonuses and a very generous pension scheme.

I would really recommend it, as you never know what's around the corner - my friends husband has been diagnosed with Parkinson's and no longer works. Luckily she went back ft after her children and can now cover mortgage and bills etc. I don't know what she would have done if she had decided to stay at home or had gone pt.

needtomovesomewherewarmer Tue 17-Apr-18 11:34:22

I have 3dc 6, 4, and 1. I work condensed hours which helps financially as I get an extra salary but no child care to pay. The hours are long though, which I’ve never minded but now I’m back to work with dc1 in school I’m beginning to feel stretched as it’s often late when I’m home.
We are a busy house, the kids, school, homework, activities, work shopping etc etc i’m often dizzy with it but I’ve been back to work 7 months and we have a good routine.

Whats caught me more off guard is actually feeling drastically torn betweeen wanting to work and wanting to be at home for the children more. Mine are lucky they have some kind of childcare wrap around before school/preschool but grandma collects them from school. They are lucky to have this but it’s still not mum or dad and it’s I wish I could be there for them after school, my son is much more content and less tense when he is with us. On the flip I worked hard for my career and I enjoy work. My point is, practically you will manage. I have been surprised that the biggest challenge has been the emotional split. X

FaFoutis Tue 17-Apr-18 11:36:42

I have 3 children. I work ft mainly from home and have done all the way through having them. I didn't use childcare.
I wouldn't call that inspirational though, more like stupid. I am done in.

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