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Baby doesn't look like me

(24 Posts)
KatD20 Sun 19-Mar-17 19:55:23

I have a beautiful, sweet and healthy five-month-old daughter. My DH and I are completely in love with her. I enjoy spending nearly all my time with her and have been pleasantly surprised at just how strong my maternal instincts are towards her. She's everything to us. So I feel utterly ridiculous posting this as I sound self-obsessed and pathetic. But I feel deflated when anyone says that she's the spit of my DH which is really frequent. He is handsome and my baby is adorable but I'm gutted that she doesn't seem to share any of my features. It's not because I think I'm good-looking or want her to be the spit of me - my bond is so strong I guess I want that obviously expressed to the world! I know it's silly and irrational and there are far more important things to think and worry about. I'm stumped at these feelings as I've been unable to get past them since she was a newborn. I don't have post-natal depression. Has anyone experienced this at all?

sick0fmykids Sun 19-Mar-17 19:57:00

They always look more like the father to begin with. Then it balances.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Sun 19-Mar-17 19:59:34

It's biological, babies look like their fathers so that the father knows it is his child and will provide for it.

As your daughter grows her features will develop and she'll become more like the two of you, don't worry smile

SummerSazz Sun 19-Mar-17 20:00:00

Allegedly babies look like their dads when young so the father protects them as know they are 'his' hmm. I suspect there is something in that but looks bad written down the in the 21st century!

When I was in hospital a new dad had in the next cubicle said to his wife - how come these babies all look cute and ours looks like Winston Churchill grin

Mungobungo Sun 19-Mar-17 20:00:16

All babies look more like their fathers to begin with. It's a biological thing to encourage the father to care for the child and dates back to when we lived in caves and didn't have life-long monogamous relationships.

She will begin to look more like you as she gets older, which will be more fun as you'll notice that she'll have taken some of your mannerisms too.

LorLorr2 Sun 19-Mar-17 20:01:58

Bless! Don't worry. She is only 5 months, she has a crazy amount of developing to do! As she grows you will see more similarities. I look more like my dad than my mum, but mum is proud of it because she loves my dad so much. Not trying to put you down in any way btw just my experience haha!!
I know a couple of mums who wear matching outfits with their daughters, quite twee but one way to show your bond!

FaFoutis Sun 19-Mar-17 20:01:59

My daughter looks like my husband too. It was the first thing the doctor said and it has bothered me ever since. Only a bit though, I got used to it (she is 7 now).
You might find that as your baby grows she gets more like you, and you get more used to her as an individual. The first year is so intense, you won't always feel like this.

SingingGoldfinch Sun 19-Mar-17 20:15:05

She will change as she grows and develops and you will see more of you, your dh, grandparents or even great aunt Mildred in her at different stages. I find it fascinating. My dd looked a lot like daddy when she was first born - now, at 11 she looks just like I did at her age, but still with a real steak if dh in her too. As she gets older you'll spot your personality traits in her too - it's not just about looks. Try not to let it upset you - just try enjoy watching her grow and change.

PastysPrincess Sun 19-Mar-17 20:19:24

My lo looked so much like his dad and not me I used to joke that I wanted a DNA test! Now he is 2 and he has started to take on my features. They grow and change so quickly you'll soon other people in her.

GoodyGoodyGumdrops Sun 19-Mar-17 20:24:58

None of my dc look like me. At all. Two are the image of their dad, the third is...a mystery. It was weird at first but I got used to it. I even laugh about it now.

I love them all dearly.

SparklesandBangs Sun 19-Mar-17 20:37:34

My DD came out the spitting image of DH hard to tell apart in baby photos. Then DD2 was a carbon copy. Even as teenager DD2 went into a shop with DH and the assistant made a comment as to how alike they were.

Whilst they all have the same colour eyes and hair, which are not the same as mine, but personality wise they are more me than him, DD1 has medical issues and allergies similar to me. And DD2 now looks like SIL.

SingingSands Sun 19-Mar-17 20:39:31

I felt a bit like this with my DD until I found out that it's quite common for babies to look like their dad. My own DD was the spit of her dad for years, but now looks very like me, but really only since she's started high school! It's really quite interesting looking back at photos of her.

Liara Sun 19-Mar-17 20:42:39

What others said, babies look more like their fathers initially.

Or, more likely, (since actually all babies look like a cross between a naked mole rat and ET), humans being social creatures will inevitably point out the similarity between a baby and their father if they look even remotely like the same species.

I remember a friend who was adopted at birth saying that everyone said all the time how like her (adoptive) father she looked. Ditto someone who conceived using donor sperm.

Don't sweat it. Practice your smiling and nodding. It will come in handy many, many times during your children's next few years.

PunjanaTea Sun 19-Mar-17 20:44:35

Agree with others that it will change as she gets older, partly as they just start to look like themselves but also as they develop mannerisms they start to get the look of other family members. DS2 is the very like me but he pulls exactly the same faces as DH in photos.

tallwivglasses Sun 19-Mar-17 20:50:21

Dig out some baby pictures of you - I guarantee you'll see a resemblance. It won't be as obvious but it'll be there.

SaltySeaBird Sun 19-Mar-17 21:03:24

My DD is the mirror of DH. Dark eyes, dark curly hair, almost olive in complexion. It's never bothered me.

Then DS came along and he is pure me. I don't really see DH in him at all. Blue eyes, white blonde poker straight hair, fair complexion.

Neither child seems to be a mix to me but they do look like each other facially just opposite colouring.

Longdistance Sun 19-Mar-17 21:08:55

My dd1 looks nothing like me. She's blonde hair, blue eyed and pale. Very Nordic looking.

Dd2, however looks the spit of me with dark hair, olive skin, and green eyes.

I get asked if they're from the same father 😂

squizita Thu 30-Mar-17 14:47:21

Mine looked like my DH and now looks like my (maternal) nan so possibly me.

DH claims this is because all new borns look a 'bit round headed and potato-ey' and he is 'a bit round headed an potato-ey'.

KatD20 Sun 09-Apr-17 18:46:53

Thanks for all the messages! It's made me feel better.

Youvegotafriendinme Sun 21-May-17 18:56:55

My DS is 6mo and is the spit of his dad. When he was born it was scary how much he looked like him, his face shape has changed so it's nearer to my shape but there's no mistaking who his dad is. I love that he looks like him but I'm sure he will change and look more like us both over time

FartnissEverbeans Sat 27-May-17 15:44:48

My 7mo DS is very like his dad and his dad's side of the family. When he was born I was very put out that he looked more like my SIL than me! As a newborn he looked just like DH's dad. None of my family in him at all.

I've spotted a bit of a resemblance in old baby photos now, and a couple of people have said he looks like me. I don't really see it but he's beautiful regardless so I'm managing to deal with it! smile

3boysNeedABiggerKitchen Wed 19-Jul-17 11:53:23

I like to think the boys got their good looks from their father, but will inherit my brains and sportiness....all round win in my view grin

Crumbelina Wed 19-Jul-17 11:57:20

My DD (20 months) is the absolute image of my DH. She's all blonde curls and blue eyes and I'm dark haired with brown eyes. We look ridiculous together. I'm now 30 weeks pregnant with DD2 and hoping for one that looks like me! smile Sod's Law she'll look just like DH too but it doesn't bother me. DD1 likes me more than DH anyway ... grin

Dancinginthemidnight Wed 19-Jul-17 12:04:13

The hours I spent while pregnant imagining how my little mini me would look. She came out the spit of her Dad. Its quite uncanny how similar their faces are. Even strangers comment that you can definetly tell who her Daddy is.

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