Massively resenting breastfeeding.(11 Posts)
3rd child and am sick of breastfeeding. He is 6 weeks. I am dreading the prospect of poor sleep until he is weaned. My others were formula fed after 3 months. I am sick of having baby on me all the time. I haven't got time to express milk. I cringe everytime I have to feed him. It takes ages, I can't tell how much he is getting and it 1-2 hourly. Day and night. I feel like I SHOULD keep breastfeeding but I do hate every second of it.
Happy mum happy baby. If you hate it that much then stop, is it really worth all the angst? You know from your previous 2 children that formula is a fine alternative and children still flourish no matter how they are fed.
What ILoveMyMonkey said. You need to look after your own mental health as well and resenting your baby won't do anything for your relationship with me.
I always say this: out of all the babies I knew when my eldest was little (and I NCT'ed, baby massaged, sensoried, yoga'ed and monkey musicked with the best of them), I could not tell you now, aged 5 who was BF and who wasn't.
And I say that as someone who BF for 9 months with number one and 13 months with number two. If it's making you miserable, stop. You've two other children, and more importantly, yourself to look after.
I'm on day 2 of feeding DC4 and my plan is to give one bottle a day from next week and then up it to 2 around 6 weeks and then phase out the boob. I do think breast is best but I want my body back, would love to be able to somewhat predict feeding times (and plan them around school runs!) and I'm just not someone who loves breastfeeding. I do worry though about settling s crying baby without the power of the boob!
babyblabber I totally echo the breast is best thing. I know it is too. I like your idea of gradually introducing the bottle. I do feel like I am copping out for some reason. I do feel selfish that I need an element of predictability but I do have others to consider too. I know he is only little. Why does it all feel so conflicting?
You feel conflicted because of that one simple phrase: breast is best.
It is rammed home over and over again, in pregnancy books, by midwives, at NCT classes, by HV, on TV.
We're led to believe that formula is up there with crack cocaine and this is further inflamed by midwives and NCT classes and HV saying "we can't talk about formula only breastfeeding" and the attitude " well why do we need to talk about formula when the instructions are on the packet?!". It's all bullshit.
New mums should be told about all their feeding options. It should be made clear that it is absolutely fine to feed in whichever way best suits you and your baby because mums mental health and well being is vital to a healthy happy baby, and mums should be able to feel that they can get the advice and support they need about their chosen method of feeding even if the instructions are on the packet sometimes it's nice to be able to ask questions (evident from all the bottle / formula threads on parenting websites).
In every other aspect of a woman's life choice is always spouted as the most important thing, abortion - it's a woman's body and therefore her choice; sex - it's a woman's body and therefore her choice; make up / hair colouring / working / child care every aspect of life comes back to equal rights and choosing to do what best suits you as a woman, but somehow breast feeding doesn't apply and all of a sudden no matter how miserable it makes you, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you you should just suck it up and keep going because it is what is best.
Well sometimes it really isn't best and the sooner this is put out there and the alternatives become acceptable then maybe all this angst and guilt wont be so paramount and people can do what they actually feel is best for them.
Sorry for my very long rant
Sorry to jump in late but are you wanting to stop because your DC is having long feeds and you're sleep deprived? You already know it gets easier and you adjust. Don't give up on a bad day is what I recommend.
Formula has its place but not if you're physically able to feed your baby and they're healthy. I'm still going at 2yrs plus and see everyone around me complaining of sickness bugs, colds, having rashes and my DS and I have never been ill. All around us at home the other members of the family are dropping like flies all winter but we are fine.
I'm not saying here giving up is wrong and you HAVE to keep going. I've had times where I have cried as soon as my dc woke up because I knew he would want feeding and it was only me who could do it. Ive felt like giving up so so many times and promised I would at 6mths, 1yr, 15mths etc and here we are past the two year mark and there are so many benefits now that I have and my ff friends don't.
You know your own mind though. I didn't follow the "breast is best" slogan because it's wrong. "Breast is natural" is better. But I bf because I'm lazy. There's no faffing about with bf and it frees up my time to get things like housework, cooking, storytime, homework done because I have two hands free rather holding a bottle the last two years (I'm aware at his age now he can do it himself anyway).
Look after yourself. You're doing what's best for your baby at the end of the day xx
Ps please don't hate on me everyone.
I'll give my experience. I hated breastfeeding the first three months. It took forever, it hurt, I got blocked ducts twice and nipple thrush once. At one point, I was considering giving up and gave him a bottle but then I was sad because I wanted to give him the best. I know that formula can be just as good and I don't make anyone feel guilty about giving up. My baby went through growth spurts those first three months and was feeding hourly sometimes. However, I stuck with it and he now feeds every two hours, but it takes 5 to 10 min max to feed him. It's free and easy to do instead of bottles, especially at night, and I love the comfort, cuddles and bonding we have for it. He prefers my beast over formula any day of the week. He naturally dropped his night feeds too at 5 months and is now only feeding once through the night. I planned on breastfeeding for six months, but I'm now going for one year, as I can see how much he loves it. Not trying to make you feel bad at all. Just my experience I've had. I definitely went from hating it to loving it and it doesn't mean it's better than formula, but this was my perspective.
Formula has its place but not if you're physically able to feed your baby and they're healthy
What if I don't want to? Do I have your permission to feed my baby formula?
OP, the health benefits are overstated and if you don't like bf then stop. Bf is slightly better on a population level but statistically your child is unlikely to benefit health-wise.
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