Help! SAHM or WOHP?(8 Posts)
I'm in a bit of a dilemma and I really need some help as feeling very low about this.
I returned to my job on a part time basis last September doing 7.5 hours per week which is basically one shift 9-5.30pm. I work in a professional capacity and trained to degree level and am registered with a professional body.
I enjoy the work when I'm there but I feel so out of the loop and incredibly rusty all the time. I make silly mistakes (nothing major but irritating to me), things change every week that I am unaware of (prices, procedures etc) and I have been regularly off if my DS is sick as I have no backup childcare. He is 2 years old and goes to a childminder when I work.
I used to be full time and very committed and knowledgeable, I was the person that everybody asked for help from. Now I am constantly asking people for help and my confidence in my abilities and decision making is very low.
I just feel that working only 7.5hrs is not enough to give it my all and do the job to the best of my abilities and not enough to stay properly connected and informed.
I'm stuck in a dilemma of do I quit and become a SAHM and rejoin the work place in a few years when I have more time? Or should I apply to increase my hours and work at getting back into the swing of my job? I'm worried I will miss out on my son's vital early years if I work more but I also worry that I will never be able to rejoin my job at a later date with any confidence. If I quit now will things move on so much that I may never feel able to go back?
I think as you have made the break from sahm to back to work, even if just one shift shows you can do it.
For me I wasn't mentally or physically able to after dc, the thought gave me severe panic attacks, so I never went back.
But everybody is different, you can do it because you have done and maybe sahm isn't for you.
Can you just pick up another day and half so you are pt, then you will be more aware of of the changes in your job.
I also struggled going back part time and chose to be a ( mainly) SAHM. Although it has been great in many ways, I do feel that I am now completely incapable of going back and all the years of training were for nothing.
I think maybe 2 or 2.5 days would be better than just one. If you can't bear that idea then you have your answer. Good luck!
I'd try another shift then see how you feel. 15 hours a week is really not much, you'd still be with DS almost all the time. Then if that's not enough to feel ok in the workplace again, reassess in six months. I suspect you're right that 7.5 hours isn't enough to keep up with developments etc.
Your question about whether you'll ever be able to get back in if you quit is a valid one, but it's not something any of us can answer without a lot more information about your job, industry etc. There are SAHMs who can, SAHMs who can't.
I was the opposite to PP and sahm made me panicky and basically caused a lot of mh anxiety stuff.
But when I went back I was out of the loop like you.
I spoke to people with older kids who reassured me that all WOHP go through it and it's a natural phase. Is there a trusted person at work you could use as a sounding board?
One day sounds hard, I found 3 days to be a good balance.
Ins side note, do you have a DP? Because if so there's no reason why you should always be the one to cover things like sickness - in fact, because you are only at work for one day I would say the onus is on him (if he's full time) to do that.
I couldn't work less than 20hrs as I felt I didn't have enough time to do any reasonable work.
I found 20hrs to be a good solution for me.
I am tempted to say to you that if you can't bear the thought of doing any more than 7.5hrs a week maybe you should take a break for a whole and sahp?
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