Neighbour complaining about my children's noise playing in the garden(199 Posts)
We just moved into a garden flat after not having a garden for most of my children's lives. We have had landscape gardener's in for two weeks and they are now mostly finished transforming the garden. The garden is over 100ft and we have divided it into areas. There is a bark chipped area near the back (though not right at the back) where we have put the trampoline. At the back of our garden is the garden to another house which is side on to ours (so you come out of our place, turn right and right again onto a side road and theirs is the first house so it runs perpendicular to our garden if that makes sense). Their garden is quite small and they have an extension that is not that far from the boundary between our gardens.
Today the man that lives there came to complain about the noise my children were making. He works from home in the extension and says they are too noisy on the trampoline and he can't hear to make phone calls.
My kids are aged almost 9, almost 6 and almost 2. They are all boys and we moved to this place specifically for the garden space. I home school my children so they are in the garden during the day on and off between about 9am and 5pm. The last three days we have had friends around so it has been noisier than usual. I did explain all this to the man. He said he thought we were running a nursery here! I assured him I was not!
So,he wants us to move the trampoline. He says that we only put it at the back of the garden to keep the noise away from our house (NOT TRUE!). I am unwilling to move it as we have specifically safety surfaced that area for it. I asked if there were specific times of day that he would prefer them not to be playing there - he said no as he works all day. He also mentioned his need to relax in his garden at the weekend.
So, what would you do? Would you move the trampoline? WOuld you ask your kids to be quiet when they are out there? Or would you ignore him?
Interesting to see how many selfish and inconsiderate parents there are. The piercing noise of constantly screaming children can drive people, not just angry, but insane. Indeed an elderly person in Manchester, UK, committed suicide because of it.
from his pov, your trampoline is right next to him whenever he is in his garden. imagine if the trampoline were that close to your back door - it wouldn't be pleasant
you've already said that you're unwilling to move the trampoline so I don't see the point in this thread. as you were.
Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.
I would move the trampoline and keep an eye on the screaming and shrieking too.
By the way, these children are 12 and 14. Who screams at that age?They should know better
We have a neighbor that just installed a huge trampoline. We are in an HOA (with very small yards and only 5ft between properties)and it does state that there should be no structures over 8ft. We were told that we couldn't do anything about a trampoline. Here's the thing, I don't mind hearing children laughing and giving a scream once in a while, but my neighbor's kids are jumping higher than the fence and screaming NON STOP over it. Even my neighbors two doors down are annoyed. We bought a house with a pool so that we would have privacy and not have to use the HOA pools where the kids were. Now I can't even relax in my back yard without feeling uncomfortable. The screaming is so loud that we can't even hear our TV inside our house.They are breaking the sound barrier! So I'm a little annoyed with those of you who are so immune to ill behaved children and have NO consideration for those around you. Parents should set some ground rules and tell their children to be aware of their surroundings. Hey, If they keep it up. we have every right to lay naked in our back yard or do adult things that they shouldn't see. Not that I'd do that, I am just trying to make a point. We have rights as well. I want the kids to enjoy life but not 24/7. There is a thing called common sense and being considerate and courteous to your neighbors.
oh welcome back op
strange how it keeps being resurrected.
unlike your trampoline issues with your neighbour, which simply faded away
Sorry! Should have said I name changed a while back. OP here!
Wow! Can't believe this is still being discussed.
Well, 5 years on all is well! My kids are is 7, 11 and 14. Still home schooled. The trampoline is still there in the same place. Never heard from that neighbour again. My kids are not in the garden a lot and not especially noisy. I remember that time when we moved in and the garden was so new. All seems so long ago! It hasn't really been an issue since.
I think when you live in London in close quarters, there will always be noise issues. We are generally good neighbours. We have nightmare neighbours who are in the process of being evicted after a long long battle so kid noise pales into insignificance in comparison.
poor neighbour will have had a nervous breakdown, or his business would have gone down the pan.
LOL thanks for the prespective wellwell
The kids will have grown out of the trampoline by now and the neighbour will have retired.
If I move the trampoline closer to the house,I will be annoying the neighbours near to me along my road. There is an elderly man living above me and an elderly lady living next door.
I think you shot yourself in the foot there. You've acknowledged it is annoying and you've chosen to annoy that particular neighbour at the bottom of the garden rather than the ones living closer to you.
Says a lot about you actually. Why annoy any of your neighbours? Why not try to be a good neighbour yourself? This would involve consideration on your part. Children don't have an automatic right to disturb other people who are trying to work. So what if he works from home.
I have children AND I work from home.
I hope the 2 year old isn't on the trampoline with the bigger boys, OP?
There's a known escalation of risk when a small person bounces with a big one. Basically, the little bones are having to deal not only with the 'shock waves' caused by their own bouncing , but those forces are multiplied by the impact of the larger person. So if the little kid lands just as the trampoline is bouncing back up from the impact of the big kid, the shock wave running up the little one's bones is intensified, and they can fracture.
"3.2 “[Table 3] shows that the most important factor associated with trampoline
injury is having many users on a trampoline at one time. RoSPA reports that
the lightest person is five times more likely to be injured. We have found that
the severity of the injury also increases with the mismatch between child and
adult weights. For example, a child of 20 kg can experience a force equivalent
to a 3.5 m fall when bouncing with an adult of 80 kg (S Menelaws et al, spring
scientific conference of the College of Emergency Medicine, April 2009)6
Bogacz, et al (2009"
Not that that has anything to do with your batshit neighbour.
So, you think it's outrageous that you can't let your kids go out once the raucous kids next door are back from school?
Perhaps he can't work for similar reasons.
You say you can't believe people are putting one person's rights over others. Yet you are doing exactly that.
Thank goodness I don't live next door to home schooled kids who are out all day...
You also say he could move his office? On that principle, can't you keep your kids in?!
Tbh, your attitude is very entitled. To call him crochety and old is also rude.
Children making noise in a garden in normal daylight hours is fine. Working from home has its drawbacks, and this is one of them. He needs to soundproof his workspace or find quiet office space elsewhere. He cannot expect to wander round and shush everyone in the neighbourhood to suit himself. Children playing and shouting in a garden between say 9 and 7 is just normal background noise of life. He knew when he built the extension and put his office there where it was located and how close other gardens were. That people might choose to use their gardens and make noise Was alaways a risk.
I used to have a neighbour who worked nights. I respected their need to sleep so stopped the kids having noisy outside play during her night shift weeks.
Your kids need to play yes. But why is it ok to annoy a man who is trying to make a decent living but not ok to annoy your elderly neighbours. All should be treated with equal respect. Perhaps restrict trampoline time to when kids would be normally home from school from 3 onwards and at weekends. They would then be getting the same amount of trampolining as other kids. There are other ways to have burn off energy time. Trampolining is not a necessity to home ed.
I just read it all! Ffs! It keeps being resurrected. How? Why?
Times are tough for many people right now, and some people have to work from home. If this work involves dealing with calls, like answering incoming calls in a virtual call centre, I think that a person's right to provide for their family needs to be respected. It's not about power or who is right and wrong, the general community rule is that you have the right to enjoy your home only to the extent where it doesn't stop someone else enjoying their home. Children can learn to be considerate - Many live in homes with frail or ill people. If home schooling, then you already have time management and other structure in place. Perhaps aligning a play hour with the neighbour's lunch hour might be sensible. Sadly, it is stressful living in close proximity to others, but most of us do. A constant thud -thud from a trampoline or ball can drive people crazy. I have had children around (inc mine) all my life, and it can be hard to balance things. If a neighbour was doing renovations, had a barking dog, or partied it up all night, you would not like it. People respond to noise in different ways. You don't know what people around you are dealing with - Health, frailty, depression, PTSD, age related issues, anxiety etc. That said, kids cannot just jump all day, they get bored. Limiting access to the trampoline will keep it special and stop it from becoming a white elephant. At one stage our family swimming pool was left un-used for months on end in the summer because it was just always THERE and the kids got bored of swimming alone or just with family, where they loved going to the beach/public pool to play with friends. I would find a compromise, keep the activity "special", and be a good neighbour. You never know what the future holds, and a good neighbour can be a great asset.
I would move it, purely because there is no point in passing off a neighbour, if you can help it anyway. After that if he moans you can say you've made an effort to be helpful by moving the trampoline.
Try and look it from his point of view though. Especially if the kids are in and out of the garden at sporadic times throughout the day, every day.
Join the discussion
Please login first.