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would you send this complaint to the school about the kitchen manager?

(16 Posts)
geraldinetheluckygoat Tue 03-Nov-09 14:24:58

I was really annoyed about overhearing the dinner manager of ds1's school kitchen today - she had a rant about me because I asked her about how much a day's dinner cost (I need to deduct this ammount from next weeks dinner money) - I felt really cross about it and wrote this letter. Should I send it or am I being massively petty? I just have seen her be really rude to so many parents I feel someone needs to say something!!! Heres the letter Im planning to send to the head....

Dear XXXX

My son xxxx attends xxx Nursery School and is due to move up to the lower school in the New Year.
I am writing to make a suggestion regarding the payment of dinner money and to bring to your attention the way that I was dealt with this morning while paying for this week’s dinner money.
This morning I handed over my money, explaining to Mrs xxx that I had accidentally put in a week’s worth of money rather than four days. She told me that the extra day would be credited to my account, which of course is fine. I thought while I was there, and while there were no other parents queuing behind me, that I would just check with her quickly how much one day’s dinner would cost. Mrs xxxx told me. I stopped to replace the door stop that had been knocked from under the door and Mrs xxx returned to the kitchen. I then heard her very loudly commenting to her co-worker, “I can’t believe these parents, coming in here asking how much a day’s dinner is, when they pay the same, day in day out. It beggars belief, it’s unbelievable isn’t it, that they don’t even know how much they have to pay. You would think that they would know how much they need to pay, It’s unbelievable, beggars belief!” I was rather taken aback by these comments. While this may seem a trivial matter, I was rather surprised that a simple question should provoke such a response. This half term I have had to deal with having one son in hospital and a husband diagnosed with a chronic spine disease, so forgive me if the prices of your lunches are not at the forefront of my mind!
I have made an effort to compliment Mrs xxx on the dinners which I felt were of a high quality in the past, I don’t think I have ever given her occasion to be so rude about me and today I certainly was not rude in my request to know the price. I do, however, find it incredibly rude and unprofessional that I have been spoken about in this way, within earshot, by a member of your staff. I work with parents and while I agree that sometimes patience can severely be tried, I would never dream of talking about them like this, it is hardly in the spirit of “Working in Partnership With Parents.” I can appreciate that it must be very tiresome to have to answer questions about the costs of the meals on a regular basis, it must be frustrating that people “can’t remember what they pay day to day”, but I disagree that it “beggars belief!” Actually I always pay weekly – I have never paid daily so that amount is not familiar to me. I thought I would ask the lady who deals with the money to let me know the price, since this is her job. May I suggest that if it so incredibly disagreeable to have to tell people the price of a service you are providing, a list fastened to the kitchen door might be helpful.
If I was not obliged to use the school dinner service because of my son’s attendance at xxx, I would certainly cease to do so, as I would rather avoid this kind of unnecessarily rude interaction first thing in the morning!
Yours faithfully,

Mrs Goat

Is this too ranty and sarcastic? Should I write a less ranty letter, I dont want to just leave it as I really feel that people who are consistently rude need to have it pointed out that its not very pleasant for the recipient..........

Sparkletastic Tue 03-Nov-09 14:28:41

Really long and ranty - I wouldn't send it at all. Next time she is rude to you tackle her about it at the time.

TheBalladofGayTony Tue 03-Nov-09 14:29:40

yabu. she was letting off steam and didnt think you were there. your complaint does make you sound rather unhinged. next time divide the weeks money by 5

malovitt Tue 03-Nov-09 14:30:56

I think you are being ridiculous.

Can't you divide a week's dinner money by five?

ruddynorah Tue 03-Nov-09 14:33:19

i don't get it. you normally pay for 5 days so needed to deduct a day. so divide the weekly amount by 5 for the daily amount surely?

Fabster Tue 03-Nov-09 14:33:30

Irrelevant about your son and husband. Makes you seem too emotional.

And, seriously, why can't you work it out for yourself? You pay x amount for 4 dinners. Divide it by 4.

geraldinetheluckygoat Tue 03-Nov-09 14:33:59

LOL@ unhinged grin I know I probably ab a bit u (I didnt post there, anyway!)

I do know what you mean, it IS ranty, but also I get really teed of with people being shirty for no good reason. And I did say afterwards that people have probably got other things to think about rather than the cost of lunches, but she ignored me.

Pennies Tue 03-Nov-09 14:35:06

Too ranty. Gave up reading it.

Have a cuppa and move on.

pellmell Tue 03-Nov-09 14:36:30

No need to comment really about the dinner lady.
I'm thinking this reaction you have had to a fairly minor event could be turned to a positive..........
Have you considered getting some support for managing your stress?

edam Tue 03-Nov-09 14:38:21

Far too long and ranty. If you do want to complain (and it's one of those things that many people would let go) make it much shorter - you needed to work out how much a day's dinners were, you normally pay weekly, you asked the dinner lady politely, she was then very rude about you when she thought you weren't listening, you would like an apology.

Sparkletastic Tue 03-Nov-09 14:38:33

I have worked with a lot of school cooks in my time - they are often a bit grumpy (hard job with rubbish pay). Complaining to the head is a bit nasty though IMO. I always used the 'killing with kindness' over the top niceness with the grumpy ladies as they didn't quite know what do make of it and it amused me grin - or next time just do a fake handbag raising gesture and say 'ooooooo sorry for asking' wink

Flamebat Tue 03-Nov-09 14:38:55

mrs xxxx could have a husband in hospital etc too....

let it go.

edam Tue 03-Nov-09 14:39:03

Or you could even speak to her tomorrow, explain that you heard what she said and think it was extremely rude and uncalled for.

MrsTittleMouse Tue 03-Nov-09 14:39:22

First thoughts - it's too long. You're much more likely to be taken seriously if you are to the point.

But more importantly - are the dinner staff always that rude? Could she just have been having a really bad day? If it's consistant then fair enough. But if you knew that she had just had a dodgy smear test or was trying to find a care home for her Mum, would you feel differently?

postal Tue 03-Nov-09 14:41:47

you are barking

and dinner woman was right - you should know how much a day's lunch is if you've already noticed you've paid a day's too much .. what a ridiculous thing to get annoyed at

geraldinetheluckygoat Tue 03-Nov-09 14:43:32

okay, okay, I'm a lunatic, will not send the letter!!

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