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is a holiday abroad worth the angst? A very long ramble I'm afraid

(38 Posts)
OrmIrian Sun 01-Nov-09 10:49:57

Some friends asked us to go away with them in the summer. Somewhere reasonably cheap and cheerful. Under the influence of another wet week in Cornwall we said yes in a vague sort of way.

Last week we were told that we had to pay for the flights this month and put a deposit down on the accomodation. Flights approx 600 and apartment 900. (Not to mention 4 passports as none of us have current passports!) Now for a start that doesn't seem all that cheap for a week in Majorca hmm However the kids want to go and I think DH would too. I can't see passed the money atm.

Problem is that DH has a huge overdraft built up over his time as self-employed builder - expenses more than he earned sometimes. Also because he is crap at budgeting. He is now teaching so his income is higher and expenses much lower. But due to various big costs (car, new TV when the old one died etc) he still has fuck off big overdraft. There is no way we can pay that much from our joint a/c or from mine - christmas and DS#1's trip to Germany is going to clean us out for a few months. so the holiday has to go on DH's overdraft or a credit card. And that much debt freaks me out TBH. We would set up a DD to pay a set amt off the credit card every month - DH would pay, but even so I don't much like it. Added to which DH's teaching post is only for 1 yr - contract to be renewed (or not) in September. We will find out in March but we need to decide now.

Friends very keen for us to go. They say that it's really relaxing to go somewhere where the weather is guaranteed. But they have never been on holiday with DS#2 who is to relaxation like a pin is to a balloon hmm

So the pros are:

1. Eldest DC not been abroad for 9yrs. DS#2 never. I feel a bit embarrassed that none of us have valid passports TBH.
2. Kids want to go (I think) as does DH.
3. Friends want our company (bless 'em - they'll regret it after a week with DS#2 grin)

cons:
1. COST! It may not be expensive as holidays go but it seems a lot to me.
2. If I am going to go abroad there are a million places I'd rather go....
3. DH needs to concentrate all his spare cash on making a dent on his overdraft. And then I really want to think about moving house. We need more space. That would be better than a hundred sunny holiday too me...

Tell me what to do please?

I mentioned it to DH this morning and he rather huffily suggested that it was up to me if I didn't think we could afford it. He is very much a 'sod it, let's do it' sort of person (hence the OD). I am not.

Lifeinagoldfishbowl Sun 01-Nov-09 10:52:25

Don't go.

OrmIrian Sun 01-Nov-09 10:55:21

Thanks life. Short and to the point grin

Hassled Sun 01-Nov-09 10:56:00

I would say no to the friends and then wait until March before you decide any more. At that stage you'll know about DH's job, Christmas will be done and dusted and there are still a lot of holiday bargains around. £1500 for a family week in Majorca (assuming self-catering) does seem on the high side of average to me, but I may be out of touch.

If you haven't been abroad with the DCs and there are places you'd rather see than Majorca then don't blow a load of money you don't have just to appease the friends/for convenience. Go somewhere you really really want to go.

I would book something else...thats a ridiculous amount of money for a week in Majorca. Spend lots of time on google, there are plenty of bargains out there.
If you do pick Majorca there are some lovely non-lager-lout places

ChasingSquirrels Sun 01-Nov-09 10:58:19

will you spend the next 8 months worrying about a holiday that (while it may be great, and relaxing etc) will only last a week?
And then months afterwards thinking of what you could have spent the money on?

If so - don't go.

OrmIrian Sun 01-Nov-09 11:00:01

Thanks.

knickknack - the reason it is more id because it isn't a non-lager-lout sort of place. Apparently.

TurkeyLurkey Sun 01-Nov-09 11:00:06

Oooh thats a hard one. £900 sounds a lot for your share of the apartment - did you agree a budget with friends before they booked?. do you have to go with that apartment?

I suppose you also have to weigh up how much your normal holiday in cornwall would cost too (plus factor in spending money - we tend to spend more in UK trying to do thing in rain to keep kids occupied than when abroad when they can just play in pool/sea etc which are all free).

FWIW I had a simliar dilemna last year when my parents offered me their timeshare in Tenerife. I said no because overall the flights would have been really expensive, plus passports and were I to spend that much like you, I wouldn't choose to go to Tenerife - so we I said no.

We ended up in a wet week in wales instead grin

OrmIrian Sun 01-Nov-09 11:00:50

chasing - I will worry. Because I am by nature a worried especially about money.

OrmIrian Sun 01-Nov-09 11:02:22

turkey - it's an apartment to ourselves. Friends will have seperate one.

iheartdusty Sun 01-Nov-09 11:02:36

totally agree with life and hassled.

friends seem to have a different expectation from you, if they can't loll around on loungers because DS needs action and fun they may feel annoyed, as may you if you are traipsing about in hot sunshine to keep DS happy while they loll.

majorca in summer can be very, very hot which is not fun with kids.

don't join in with friends' plan.

take your time and think about what you really want and can afford comfortably.

Merrylegs Sun 01-Nov-09 11:02:58

I would also wait until March and see how you are fixed then. Mainly because I can't bear having things sorted so early on. I always think there may be a last minute bargain to be had.

BUT I don't think £1500 for flights and accom. for a family holiday abroad in the summer is too high, TBH, so cost wise it sounds about right.

I would also say that a family holiday somewhere hot and sunny may seem frivolous, but sometimes, with all the sh+t life throws at us, it is often a necessary expense. Life isn't just about bricks and mortar. It's about the memories too. (Blah blah.)

(I can't believe you would have to book flights so early, actually.)

TurkeyLurkey Sun 01-Nov-09 11:04:25

Bloody hell thats a lot then! Surely you can get cheaper than that unless you are a family of twelve or something.

LoveBeingAMummy Sun 01-Nov-09 11:04:52

You know the answer you just don't want to upset everyone else and be the bad sensible one.

Say no, you can always book something ater if you've managed to save some money, and might even be able to go to the same place (for a cheaper price too)

OrmIrian Sun 01-Nov-09 11:05:07

merry - it's with easyjet so we need to book early to get cheapest apparently. BTW I don't think it's excessive but in the circumstances it's a lot.

Merrylegs Sun 01-Nov-09 11:07:01

But easyjet release more seats later on in the year too. And if it is with easyjet, those flights actually sound pretty expensive then! I would be looking at about £400-450 for a family of 5.

TrillianSlasher Sun 01-Nov-09 11:08:39

Don't go. You can't afford it right now. So you can't commit.

If you're going away with friends for whom that amount of money is not a big deal there will be conflicts of expectations when you get there too.

You shouldn't feel bad, plenty of people grow up without going abroad. Only go away somewhere that you want to go, since you are the adults and you have to pay for it and make sacrifices to be able to afford it.

OrmIrian Sun 01-Nov-09 11:08:54

Aha! Thanks for that merrylegs. I would be much much happier leaving it for a while. Problem is friends want us to be in the same place as them ideally.

Pacific Sun 01-Nov-09 11:10:18

Orm, I rarely give advice on here but for some reason this struck a chord with me. I worry about money too and when we are budgeting the first thing to go is the family holiday as I always regard it as a 'frivolous' expense.

£1500 seems too much for a self catering holiday. I think you could find a holiday cheaper than that. But, that aside, if I were in your financial circumstances (and I have been in the past) I would woory too much and wouldn't go.

Pacific Sun 01-Nov-09 11:12:00

PS. Cornwall is the wettest place in the country......go to Norfolk instead. Much drier and loads of things to do!

I know someone who goes on several holidays per year, he would never book a summer holiday before Christmas...and he is the king of finding good value holidays, eg a week in a 5* hotel would cost much less then the price your friend has quoted!
I second putting your holiday plans on hold until January. Easyjet and Ryanair have lots of cheap seats available closer to the time.

QOD Sun 01-Nov-09 11:16:19

just remember how expensive self catering is too in the eurozone - i just came back from Gran Canaria last night, to buy 3 ready made baguettes & 3 cakes was anything from 6 euros to 17
madness - also, the actual FOOD was soooooooooo expensive, we ate in a restaurant for 1 lunch - 35 euro (only 2 adults 1 child) and the 2 adults only had a starter!

LIZS Sun 01-Nov-09 11:18:17

is it a share of the same apartment or a separate adjacent one ? I'd say it is too early to commit and if it isn't somewhere you want to go, don't! There will be other options around later if you decide to go.

As to the angst...I always find holidays very relaxing, not stressful, kids are happy for almost the whole week, everything seems easier in the sun grin

EldonAve Sun 01-Nov-09 11:27:19

Don't go, just say you can't commit to the expense right now
Review in March and see how you feel then and how the £ is

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