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working full time dilemma

(16 Posts)
newweddingname Thu 22-Oct-09 08:31:57

I would love some opinions here.... be honest I can take it!

My options are
1) to stay in a job i dont really like and work 2 and a half days per week (mum looks after dd aged 17 months) and then work a saturday night shift (dp looks after dd) and I have 2 and a half days per week with dd and a messed up weekend with no real quality family time all together and I am constantly worn out from the night shift at the weekend.

option 2) move to a new job, which i may or may not like but is much nearer home so will cut down on travelling time and work 8.30 till 4.30 mon - fri, mum look after dd 2 days per week and nursery 3 days per week and have weekends bank holidays christmas etc off for family time. dd would be dropped off at nursery at 9.15 by dp and picked up at 5pm by me on the 3 days she goes there.

Finacially it evens out as I dont currently pay for any childcare, the extra I earn will be swallowed up by childcare.


StealthPolarBear Thu 22-Oct-09 08:34:08

are you planning more dcs any time soon?
whats your feeling about job (2) - similar/better than 1? do you think youd enjoy it?
Money might be swallowed up now but dd will be at school in a few years, plus nursery costs drop before then

StealthPolarBear Thu 22-Oct-09 08:34:55

as you can tell, 2 is seeming better to me...

Uriel Thu 22-Oct-09 08:44:34

I'd go for option 2. If it turns out it's a job you don't like, well that's no worse than what you're doing now. Also, big plus for me, less travelling time.

StealthPolarBear Thu 22-Oct-09 08:49:54

how flexible will job 2 be? If your DD is ill at nursery will someone be able to get her?
Also if you are planning another baby, when?

ABetaDad Thu 22-Oct-09 08:51:00

No question that 2 is definitley better.

Doyouthinktheysaurus Thu 22-Oct-09 08:54:44

I worked weekend nights for several years when the children were very young and I hated it, the difference that it made when they got older and I could change to weekday nights was huge. Our family life improved and I was so much more relaxed.

On that basis I'd go for option 2.

lulalullabye Thu 22-Oct-09 09:01:48

Option 2. I have been doing option 1 and in a couple of weeks will be moving to option2 and feel great about it !

newweddingname Thu 22-Oct-09 09:02:29

oh, thanks for getting back to me, im at work at the mo so just nipping back on. Im really shocked (but pleased) that so far option 2 seems to be the way to go. My mum thinks im mad for working more hours for no more pay, thing is though, that night shift at the weekend is really getting me down, im just so tired out.

Also I think she thinks im a bit daft for considering putting her in childcare so young when i dont really need too.... oh the guilt is terrible

dinkystinkystein Thu 22-Oct-09 09:06:06

option 2 sounds better as you get more quality family life and 8.30 to 4.30 are actually really good hours so you'd still get quality time with your DD during the week too.

StealthPolarBear Thu 22-Oct-09 09:07:04

pay will only be 'short' for 18 months or so, and despite more hours it sounds like you'll get a more relaxed family life.
IMO 17m is not too young at all to go to nursery!
if you're planning more dcs though then it might change things...

newweddingname Thu 22-Oct-09 11:27:46

oh gosh, just cant contemplate any more kids at the mo, im just finding things so tough at the moment, dd not sleeping well at all but thats a whole other story....

Its not so bad to want some family time though is it?

lula, what are your circs at the moment if you dont mind me being nosy, are you going to work full time as well?

annother reason ive been thinking about trying to get rid of the weekend shift is that ive been told i should be working xmas night as i had last year off..... i was on maternity leave gah! shift work. its rubbish.

lilyjen Thu 22-Oct-09 11:41:08

I take it u have to work? Well if so..definately option 2. Don't feel guilty about the nursery your DD will enjoy it and get a lot from it and you get to spend quality weekends and evenings with your family. You don't like your part time job anyway so it's no loss there and the night at weekend is too much, plus the travel..yeah it makes sense to go for option 2. Good luck anyway hope it works out smile

TheBossofMe Thu 22-Oct-09 14:43:00

If it makes you feel any better, at 17mo, my DD didn't appear ready for FT nursery. Now at 19mo I'm scrabbling around trying to get her a FT place since she seems to need the social stimulation. A lot changes in 2 months at that age, so don't worry about her being too young for it; she will probably thrive on it.

lulalullabye Thu 22-Oct-09 21:14:10

Have been working a tues and sun night (nurse). dc's in nursery mon and wed. Tis killing me. Even though as they are at nursery I can sleep until 4 ish, I am still so tired and irritable !!

I am now going to be doing any shifts but mon to fri and having a nanny/carer at home with them for the other three days. Even though I will be working so much more and paying out so much more, I feel that mentally it will make such a difference, and may make me appreciate my dc's more. They are 3 and 2yrs.

newweddingname Thu 22-Oct-09 22:07:44

Oh good luck with it all, from a fellow nurse, these night shifts are a killer hey. Sounds like a better plan for you and your family, and thanks to all for the advice im seriously considering option 2 now!

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