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have I made a terrible mistake?

(5 Posts)
susia Sun 13-Sep-09 21:13:05

long story...basically 2 years ago my son didn't get into any of our local primary schools, was offered a school in special measures nearly 2 miles away. He stayed on the waiting list all summer for all three schools and I appealed etc but didn't get anywhere.

My parents then offered for him to go to a private school, this was not what I wanted because he is an only child and I am a single mother and I wanted him to get to know children locally and to have a good social life, the local schools are all very good (hence oversubscribed) etc.

2 years down the line, he has been very happy at the (tiny) private school, but has found reading very difficult. Many children have left this school over the 2 years from his year (his class has gone from 18 to 10 - due to moving away). This has really worried me as I feel that moving eventually from this school to a comprehensive would be very hard.

Anyway, 2 years down the line he was finally offered a place at our local (outstanding) state school. Because of the numbers who have left the private school, because it was not what I originally wanted and because of the social aspect I moved him last week.

Now though I am suddenly doubting my decision. I am worried that as he is struggling so much he would be better where he was in a tiny, more academic school than in a bigger one where everything is new. I feel that I have put his education below his and my theoretical social life which may not materialize.

I am tying myself up in knots about it - it's not too late to move him back. I just don't know what to do.

On the one hand the private school would push him much harder in terms of homework etc which is probably not the best for someone struggling, on the other he was happy and settled and may well do better from it. and all my reasons seem a bit pointless now.

whomovedmychocolate Sun 13-Sep-09 21:17:48

Is he academic or more social. What matters more to him. You say that lots of his class have left so perhaps he's not too bothered about the move?

A seven year old will not be that far advanced academically I would think to find it hard to switch to state schools, but only you know him.

If you think he has massive potential academically, then consider sending him back, but if not, if he's just an averagely bright boy, why don't you wait a term and decide - can you do that?

Tinfoil Sun 13-Sep-09 21:24:38

Have the teachers at either school offered any advice on his reading? Would it be possible for him to have some extra reading tuition?

A good school (whether state or private) will help every child at the level they are at.

phatcat Sun 13-Sep-09 21:34:23

I don't think that being pushed harder when he's struggling is necessarily the best approach. Do you have an insight into why he is he struggling with his reading? Dyslexic tendencies perhaps - if so there's so much that can be done to help at school and at home. Get talking to his new teacher, find out who the SENCO is and about the school's remedial reading scheme and how to access it, start researching what you can do to help him along with his reading at home. I'd say give him time at the new school and see how he settles in before making any decisions about moving him back.

teech Wed 16-Sep-09 03:19:09

Stick with his current school. Flag up how concerned you are with his reading and ask his class teacher for any extra help you can give him at home.

I'm a supply teacher and have worked in every type of school you dare throw at me (apart from boys muslim schools, cos I'm female). I've found that state schools with parental support have more success stories. This is, of course, an unscientific, purely observational comment. But it remains my opinion.

Good luck. (And try and get him into the government's one2one programme of 10 weeks tuition with a qualified teacher. That would help too.)

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