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I'm at a complete loss on what to do now

(2 Posts)
Sian79 Sun 06-Sep-09 23:40:09

hello everyone

New to mumsnet so hoping for a little inspiration from the crowd.

A little advice goes a long way so they say.

Recently seperated from the father of my 2 angels (or devils whichever) 7months in total (and loving every second).

Work full time in hospitality sector late nights weekends all that drag (not loving every second but it pays the bills).

Kids visit Dad at weekend from sat morning to sun tea (while I work)

True to his usual useless self Dad has decided that the childcare element of his obligations is well and truly fulfilled and therefore does not have any financial requirements to fulfil shock

Didn't push for this for the first 4 months as he moved out of the 'family home' and figured he'd need time to sort himself out etc

However, as he is still not making any moves on this sorting business (moved in with mum) and is parading his new found financial freedom when I can barely afford to clothe the kids (they have shot up in one of those bizarre growth spurts that means you wake up one morning and nothing fits like it did the day before)

So asked him for a contribution of £20 per week (am I being unreasonable?) he works full time and currently has no outgoings at all

This week (3months after originally asked and not yet a penny contributed) he has decided that he will not be contributing financially at all bad times!!!

So here lies my problem:

I could resort to the usual CSA channel if absolutely necerssary but if I do he is highly likely to be akward about when he has the kids and as I work at the weekend and rely on this childcare arrangement this might be a major problem but on the other hand I am struggling majorly from a financial point of view.

What would you do hmm

Rindercella Sun 06-Sep-09 23:59:16

Hi Sian, welcome to MN.

I don't have a huge amount of wisdom to impart on this, but I just wanted to pick up on a couple of things you raise in your post.

You refer to relying on 'this childcare arrangement'. Your DC are the responsibility of you both. I am assuming you have them for the other 6 nights of the week? So you have 6/7s of the childcare and 100% of the financial responsibility? Your ex is taking the piss.

Your ex is most certainly obliged to financially contribute towards your DC. You may want to have a look into mediation to see if suitable financial and access arrangements can be sorted out, without involving the CSA.

I would post this in Lone Parents and hopefully someone far better qualified can give you a better answer than my ramblings.

Good luck though smile

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