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Feel used and as if I have been overlooked

(14 Posts)
Chipie Sun 06-Sep-09 12:08:53

Hi all

This is my first post, but hope you can help (also hope this is the right forum to post on!).

I have been helping out in my DS school 2 mornings a week, voluntarily,for the last 2 years. Before the summer hols a job came up for an NVQ3 Teachers assistant. I asked the head whether I should apply, and she said not in this instance as I wasn't properly qualified, but if I did the NVQ2 course she would completely support me (which I'm quite happy to do). I have since found out that 2 of the other mums that have been helping for not as long as me applied and have been given the job on a job share!!! They are also not qualified and will be studying their NVQ2 while being paid to do it!

I feel completely used, and angry I wasn't also given the opportunity. I'm also really not sure whether I want to continue with my plans to do the course, and help them out anymore although I do enjoy it.

What would you do/say ?

Thanks for looking.


3littlefrogs Sun 06-Sep-09 12:12:41

Personally, I would look around for paid employment. Or, look for a similar opportunity elsewhere.It is very hurtful when you are used and taken for granted.

I don't think I would be able to work with the head teacher after that.

missingtheaction Sun 06-Sep-09 12:24:38

I doubt she rejected you just to snub you - she may have had good reasons for taking on the other two helpers. Be honest with yourself - might they be better at it than you for some reason: if you really don't know why then ask her BUT ONLY if you are prepared to listen to what she says!

nickschick Sun 06-Sep-09 12:26:16

Id be cross too and I think that I would either get paid work elsewhere or volunteer elsewhere.

Chipie Sun 06-Sep-09 12:36:05

I am going to make an appointment with her to discuss it. If I had applied and not got the position, fair enough, so I need to know why she specifically told me not to, and accepted applications from the other two (then effectively created 2 jobs).

nickschick Sun 06-Sep-09 12:39:10

I dont know if thats a good idea tbh Chipie,shes not obliged to explain to you why the other 2 got the job only why she didnt suggest you apply for may end up feeling worse with still no answer.

Chipie Sun 06-Sep-09 12:43:52

I'm not going to ask her to justify why the other's got the job, just why she specifically told me not to apply. It may make me feel worse, but in the same context I'll be able to make an informed decision about continuing to help and at least I'll know where I stand.

bibbitybobbityhat Sun 06-Sep-09 12:47:50

I think you should ask her Chipie. The not knowing must be worse than knowing surely. I am sure you can take on board whatever she says without getting upset.

nickschick Sun 06-Sep-09 12:57:19

Yes I can see that point Chipie.

nickschick Sun 06-Sep-09 12:58:12

I tell you what tho as a parent I wouldnt be v happy if the job was for a level 3 and 2 women studying towards level 2 were doing that job .......

crokky Sun 06-Sep-09 13:03:13

Perhaps it is just a simple case of the head teacher favouring her mates? I wouldn't ask because I don't think she would give a meaningful response. Agree with others who say volunteer or look for paid work elsewhere.

bigstripeytiger Sun 06-Sep-09 13:04:53

Its possible that the other 2 mums didnt ask, just applied, and then were the best applicants, so despite being underqualified, got the job.
Its possible that the headteacher now feels bad for telling you not to apply, but her hands were probably tied in that she could then only offer the job to people who had applied for it.

nickschick Sun 06-Sep-09 13:08:11

That is a very strong possibilty bst.

hocuspontas Sun 06-Sep-09 13:17:36

Agree with bst. Also the mums may have had previous experience in childcare?

I would feel equally miffed I think and would go and volunteer somewhere else if the HT couldn't explain to your satisfaction.

When it became apparent that there were no suitably qualified candidates I'm surprised she didn't re-advertise for level 2s. But as they are unqualified she can pay them less!

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