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dont know how to approach baby subject again.....PLEASE HELP

(5 Posts)
asteri Thu 06-Aug-09 14:49:48

I have recently married my partner and all the while we were going out we always said how much we would like to have a family, however I did fall pregnant at a really bad time (financially and generally) and we decided at that time not to keep the baby. It was at the time very traumatic and is now the single biggest regret I have. We have discussed having a family since but my husband always says we should wait til we know we can afford it (we are now both in relatively well paid jobs and have a secure home, but everyday I think about having a baby so much it hurts, I look back and remember the (brief) time I was pregnant and I miss it so much. I also recently beacme an aunt and its soooooo hard, but I am scared to approach my husband about this again, he is a lovely guy and very supportive but I dont want to sound like a moaning harpie.

thisisyesterday Thu 06-Aug-09 22:07:51

i think you need to not only approach him about having a ababy but also tell him exactly how you feel about your termination, an just how much this means to you

it may be that he doesn't realise just how much you long for a child, and so he is happy to wait a while, not understanding that you really want this now.

you know there never is really a right time for a baby, financially or otherwise. there are always things that aren't right, or could be better.

weaselbudge Wed 26-Aug-09 18:20:31

You really should be able to talk to him about this sort of thing IMO.
To be blunt, if he thinks you're a moaning harpie then you may need to consider getting some marriage counselling. If you can't even discuss having a baby then how is your marriage going to cope after you have one - when relationships get even more strained. You say he is lovely - therefore i'm sure he will understand if you approach the subject rationally, calmly and not hysterically. If he says an outright "no" - get him to explain exactly why and when he thinks he would be ready in the future - this will give you a bit of comfort/security that it will happen eventually! Good luck.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Wed 26-Aug-09 18:22:50

He is your husband.

Were you married when you had your termination?

I feel you need to have the talk now as it sounds like he will always have an excuse as to why now is not the right time.

No one would ever have kids if they knew what it cost in every way and you just get on with it.

Suggest you start saving now..

MummyDragon Wed 26-Aug-09 19:52:46

Show him this thread - it's pretty much all been said really.

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