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DP, deafness, denial, and doctor-avoidance - WWYD?

(5 Posts)
MadreInglese Mon 27-Jul-09 12:58:08

DP's hearing seems to be getting steadily worse over the years, initially it wasn't too noticable but recently it has very obviously worsened (I can clearly hear the phone ringing from the next room and he is oblivious). I've mentioned it a few times (as tactfully as I can) in the past but he just shrugs it off, last night it came up again and again he said he's 'fine' and doesn't need to go to the GP.

Thing is, he might just need them syringing, it might not be that he's actually loosing his hearing at all, but he just refuses to even discuss it. He works in an environment that is quite noisy and very dusty/mucky so his ears could easily just be gunked up with crap, or there could be something serious going on that might need looking at sooner rather than later, I'm quite worried for him but I know that he won't go and get tested.

I feel like I will continue to be a bloody hearing dog for him - telling him when his phone is ringing, repeating what people have said, shouting so he doesn't get run over coz he can't hear the car coming, etc. It's always the same with anything to do with his health - if he has a cold he is 'fine' and doesn't need to take any medicine - then keeps everyone awake all night with his hacking cough that he refuses to take anything for, or he leaves his broken tooth un-checked until he has a fricking abcess and needs the bloody thing removing at five times what it would have cost had he got it looked at sooner.

I know, I know, I sound like a right selfish unsympathetic mare sad


missingtheaction Mon 27-Jul-09 13:04:14

i feel exactly the same way about my mum. She has the telly so loud the speakers rattle but will she have her hearing assessed? will she heck. 'what dear? I didn't catch that. oh no that's really not necessary there's nothing wrong. what dear?' at this rate she will end up under the patio.

I am going to use Hopi Ear Candles on her next time I see her to suck out any wax that's there. You can DIY and buy them in health food stores. If that doesn't work I am just going to bully her.

TheCrackFox Mon 27-Jul-09 13:16:47

I feel exactly the same way about my DH. He is quite clearly going deaf and IMO really needs a hearing aid. He is having none of it and will not see a doctor. I have explained to him that hearing aids are very discreet now and are hardly noticeable.

It is driving me demented. I know it isn't very nice thing to say but it is really irritating having to constantly repeat myself.

However, he is an adult and I can't make him do something that he doesn't want to do.

Hopefully someone will come along who can help.

MadreInglese Mon 27-Jul-09 15:39:24

Good to know I'm not alone

I'm sure it's scary to think you might be losing your hearing but this display of ostrich syndrome is not going to help him one jot

He is insanely stubborn so I know I have a slim-to-none chance of getting him to the doctor, it's just so frustrating!

Perhaps I should stop helping him out (apart from stuff like not hearing a car coming of course!)

HecatesTwopenceworth Mon 27-Jul-09 15:48:55

I think you should. Apart from, like you say, safety. When it becomes enough of a nuisance, then he may act. While you are 'protecting' him from the full impact of it, what's his motivation? It needs to be painful enough (not physically, but you know what I mean) to force action.

don't tell him about phone, don't repeat things for him, don't allow tv to be on full blast etc etc, When he complains, say "If you got your hearing checked, you wouldn't have a problem, would you?"

clearly it needs to inconvenience him a lot more than it is doing atm.

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