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Am I being paranoid and egocentric or am I being snubbed?

(10 Posts)
scribblehead Sat 18-Jul-09 20:24:35

I feel a bit daft posting this but here goes. We've got a real alpha female in our NCT group who's always acted as unofficial social secretary. We've always got along, (I think). However, for the past three weeks she's not been in touch and I've been missed out of every invite. (I know she's fine, out and about as usual, not on holiday or ill)!

If it was someone else I'd probably think it was just a mistake but she's super organised especially about social events. I'm not really confident and the thought of asking outright, 'have I done something wrong?' is making me feel really nervous and jittery. I feel like a kid at school. I've been at home all day with only the kids for company and I know I'm prob worrying too much. I'd appreciate some common sense from MN. What's the grown up thing to do?

HarrySaundersSphincter Sat 18-Jul-09 20:29:54

Can you get in touch with others from the group to see if they've been invited or to get them onside? If you find her a PITA i'm sure they will too.

scribblehead Sat 18-Jul-09 20:34:45

The group's got a bit fragmented recently with a couple of people moving away, others in full time work again. There are just 4 of us SAHMs now. One of these ladies has been in touch and she was really apologetic that I missed the last invite. Along the lines of 'OMG I thought J. Bloggs would ask you, she always asks evereyone, really sorry'! I played it down because I felt too embarrassed to ask whether she thought there was a problem. Now I keep running over it all in my mind.

nickschick Sat 18-Jul-09 20:36:48

So now you just say to the lady who rang you - shall we meet up and do xxxxxxx,invite xxx and xxxxx, and get together without annie alpha - 2 can play that game but do it sneakily and you will do it better wink.

skidoodle Sat 18-Jul-09 20:39:40

Sounds like you're being snubbed, but it doesn't matter because the others like you.

I would just blank her except when I needed to be civil and carry on whatever level of friendship felt appropriate with the others.

I really hate women like this - they insinuate themselves into the centre of a group and then poison it with their power games.

scribblehead Sat 18-Jul-09 20:43:17

Ha ha. Thanks Nickschick. I am meeting up with other mum on Mon but I think she is planning to ask annie alpha, (good name). Am torn between rising above all this with beautific smile, sulking, or having some king of Ophra- esque confessional!

scribblehead Sat 18-Jul-09 20:44:01

king of?? Kind of.

scribblehead Sat 18-Jul-09 20:54:37

Ok. I think this thread is dead already. Fair enough. Will go drink tea and read novel. Thanks those who posted. smile

nickschick Sat 18-Jul-09 21:09:15

Dont go lol

Ask Annie alpha to check she has your number don right as you didnt get told of the meet last time .....that will make her look inadequate and crap at organising or just bitchy, do it with a sweet smile.

scribblehead Sat 18-Jul-09 21:13:39

Ooo hello. Good plan about the phone number. I needed to find a middle ground between confrontational and doormat!

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