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Is he being an arse or am I just not getting it?

(10 Posts)
RenagadeMum Wed 15-Jul-09 12:22:25

Need your opinion as to whether sisters DH is being a twonk.

I just offered my 3 year old nice-ish car for my sister to use for free while I am away for 2 years. I just said the only thing we would ask is that if we came back to visit in the meantime for a couple of weeks could we have it back as it would be tricky to get around the various bits of the country to see relatives with the 2DCs.

They wouldn't be using it for work (they both take the train) but it would be their only car.

He said he would 'not be prepared to have the car under those circumstances.' My sister looked a bit cringed.

So basically we would have to rent one while we are back. They have no DCs, dont use it for work and it would be free. Is he being a bit of an arse or am I just not seeing this one properly? I feel like just leaving the car in my PILs driveway for the 2 years ATM.

Haribosmummy Wed 15-Jul-09 12:26:27

He is being an arse, IMHO, and I think you should stick to your guns and leave it in your PIL's driveway! grin

Seriously, talk to your sister and tell her it's there for her anytime she wants to use it, but you need it back when you are in the UK.

I think it's a perfectly reasonable (and generous!) offer.

Molesworth Wed 15-Jul-09 12:27:45

It sounds like he was a bit abrupt and rude, but he might have valid reasons for not wanting to take the car under those circs. If it's going to be their only car, I assume they would have to rent one when you're visiting and using it, which would be a pain for them too. He might also be worried that it could cause arguments if, say, something major went wrong with it or it got damaged. Presumably they manage fine without a car at the moment, so perhaps he doesn't want the extra expense of running one?

FabBakerGirlIsBack Wed 15-Jul-09 12:30:39

I think he is being a prat.

Leave the car in a locked garage and let them carry on without one.

RenagadeMum Wed 15-Jul-09 12:34:00

All good answers!! At least I know I am not being oversensitive completely. Its sometimes hard to tell.

Moles, I can see your points. He is very analytical. Only thing is, ATM they are driving a real rust bucket (borrowed from a friend as well - her granny died and left it to her friend and she already has a car) that cant even go up the motorway too far! And this one is really reliable.

Could see it could inconvenience them for a few days not having it, but if we have just gotten off a plane after 12 hour flight with 2 young DCs then having to pay to rent a car because he wont fork out and make an effort seemed a bit hmm!

ginnny Wed 15-Jul-09 12:35:50

Who will pay the tax and MOT and any repairs on it for the 2 years?
Maybe he is thinking that he will have to pay for the upkeep of your car just for you to take it back.
If they don't really need a car then maybe he doesn't want the hassle.

Molesworth Wed 15-Jul-09 12:36:36

True, the cost of renting a car during your visits could be viewed as a reasonable price to pay for the loan of a reliable car. I do think he is being churlish tbh. Did he not give any reasons for his response?

RenagadeMum Wed 15-Jul-09 12:38:17

They have to give their other car back to their friend, so won't have a car but need one. I guess Tax will be £120ish, MOT £60 and odds and sods repairs, like they have been doing with her friends cars. Surely cheaper than having to buy one of their own.

I guess I thought I was doing something nice for my sister and feel a bit sad.

nellie12 Wed 15-Jul-09 12:45:09

He does sound abrupt and a little rude..but no I wouldn't take that offer up either because I would be worried about the potential damage we would do in those two years.

I think that sort of set up has the potential to lead to a lot of discord between you and your sister when you got back. If they cant afford to buy a car a car they may well have problems maintaining one in a decent state. How would you feel if the car was not in the same state when you got it back after two years?

RenagadeMum Wed 15-Jul-09 12:46:40

Not too fussed Nellie! I can't remember the last time I took it through a car wash! The back seat where the kids are is an abomination (nothing that a little shake and vac wont solve though)

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