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How can I make myself feel better:?

(28 Posts)
whyme2 Tue 09-Jun-09 22:59:54

I don't know, I 've just had a really crap day all because some women at the mums n tots had a go at me in front of everyone and reduced me to tears.
Still feel so upset even though there was a kind off apology/explanation. How do 'i stop being upset.
What do you do to feel better?

Aaw, why don't you tell us what happened? a problem shared and all that!

psychomum5 Tue 09-Jun-09 23:04:05

I have some wine, and whine about it on MN

Wonderstuff Tue 09-Jun-09 23:05:26

Tell us what happened and we'll tell you how completely unreasonable they were..

whyme2 Tue 09-Jun-09 23:11:32

I left my baby asleep int he pushchair in the doorway next to the room we were in ( a church building) She said very loudly " I think this is digusting, there is a baby asleep here" Realised she was refering to my DD so went over. Apparently it's not done to leave a child asleep because they may come to some harm.
I understand that she thought it wasn't safe, but to say it was disgusting in front of the whole group. It made feel like the crappest parent ever.
Later the other leader came and apologised, saying that x is feeling bad about how she handled it!! ffs . not as bad as I felt. Only stayed because DS would have been upset to leave early.

SlartyBartFast Tue 09-Jun-09 23:13:30

what a cow!

whyme2 Tue 09-Jun-09 23:14:51

Leader said that they had a lot of vandalism and x was worried.
I am also convinced she knew it was my baby as we've been going there for 6 months and xhas often cooed over DD.
It just seemed such a nasty thing to do.
Am feeling very delicate still.

psychomum5 Tue 09-Jun-09 23:15:17

yeah, shes a cow.

<<pours more wine>>

oneforward20back Tue 09-Jun-09 23:16:07

Okay being dumb -was it fact dd asleep? the fact she was sleep in buggy? or where buggy was?

kalo12 Tue 09-Jun-09 23:16:29

what a horrible woman. well you must rise above it and she will feel bad next week. i'm sure it will blow over but it shouldn't stop you from going to the baby group and feeling confident.

everyone does things that makes them feel like crap mothers . my ds fell of the bed when he was 6 months right on to his head. it was terrifying. thats just one incident of many of my crap parenting skills.

Wonderstuff Tue 09-Jun-09 23:16:51

The other woman was being totally unreasonable. What harm would dd come to?? Gosh I leave dd outside in her pushchair if she falls asleep on the way home, as long as she was in earshot.

The other woman is clearly mad and has some attention seeking ishoos

whyme2 Tue 09-Jun-09 23:17:34

Have had wine thanks, psyco.
TBH, don't feel like going back again which is a shame because DS really likes it. The other mums are really friendly.

Kbear Tue 09-Jun-09 23:19:04

she sounds like a meddling lunatic - ignore and carry on! (and go through in your head was a fantastic mother you are).

psychomum5 Tue 09-Jun-09 23:20:29

oh go back, ignore her, don;t let her think she has won and you are running scared.

hold your head up high, and ignore her. don;t look at her, acknowledge her, don;t even pass her anything like coffee, sugar etc. freeze her with your magical powers, and enjoy it for the nice mums and your children.

it works well I have found

normally you will find that women like that are actually very insecure, and make themselves feel better by belittling others. don;t let her do that to you!

Wonderstuff Tue 09-Jun-09 23:20:35

Go back if everyone else is nice. They probably think she is a loon as well.

It must be great to be a perfect parent who is privy to all the unspoken rules before going to places like that. hmm

Even if she thought that (and tbh a lot of people are a bit kneejerk about security with kids, as if there's ten peodophiles behind every bush- my dp has a go at me if I walk 5 feet away from ds sitting in the supermarket trolley to grab some cereal!) there are countless tactful ways to say something. I hope she felt like a gobby cow afterwards.

It's your child, your judgement call. And it was a church building, not a pub you left her outside of!

Cheer up now, have a biscuit.

whyme2 Tue 09-Jun-09 23:21:23

The issue was the fact that someone could harm/steal the baby. The pushchair was on one side of glass door and we were on the other side.
And I know we all do stuff that is a bit crap in the pareting league, I have a list. This has really knocked me more than anything though. Usually I just think "whatever" and get on with my own thing.

hmc Tue 09-Jun-09 23:23:38

Woman sounds unhinged. What was going to happen to your dd in a church building - was their a fear of falling crucifixes? or perhaps she might spontaneously develop stigmata hmm

Don't let her put you off going back. She's a freak

kalo12 Tue 09-Jun-09 23:23:58

well don't dwell on it, she's done you a favour. we all do these things and then think what if and it serves as a reminder, a safety check.

don't let it stop you going to the group

Wonderstuff Tue 09-Jun-09 23:24:26

Stealing babies from church buildings in full view of a toddler group is pretty rare I would have thought. Go back and tut to yourself every time nasty woman says or does something you disagree with.

hmc Tue 09-Jun-09 23:25:28

"Stealing babies from church buildings in full view of a toddler group is pretty rare I would have thought"

Surely not - happens all the time doesn't it? wink

whyme2 Tue 09-Jun-09 23:25:50

Yes, I think I will go back, I have 6 days to recover.
May need more wine before then!

Do go back, don't let her silliness put you off. Just because she criticised you doesn't make her opinion right.

oneforward20back Tue 09-Jun-09 23:27:42

ahh am now enlightened. Bottle wine, biscuit chocolate -whatever your posion. I don't see what issue is. If you could hear/see her her needs would have been met and unless you church has no grounds in the middle of a city I would probably have done the same thing. Ignore her, go have fun with your friends and if she has worried you just don't do it again. One narrow minded dogooder should not be enough to drive you away from something you and your ds enjoy and obviously you normally benefit from.

put it down to an off day and enjoy the future. The past is exactly that... the past.

kalo12 Tue 09-Jun-09 23:29:20

remember that these women at baby groups have all recently given birth and are all probably doolally. but they are great places to go.

i have been on both sides - been a crap parent and been rude and offensive i 'm sure. had pnd and was so amazed at how lovely and supportive and bonding people were at baby groups.

i'm sure she will be doing something equally 'disgusting' sooner or later. prolly leaving poo on the weighing scales or something

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