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Should I say anything?

(4 Posts)
CherryChoc Wed 03-Jun-09 10:41:27

Some friends came round the other day as we were having a barbeque. They have a young baby (about 6mo) and he is teething at the moment so was quite unsettled. Both parents seemed stressed and were arguing over who needed to be looking after him, I think they were fed up with missing the party because of their baby (which is kind of.. tough really!)

Anyway the baby was tired and hungry, he had had a jar of food quite a bit earlier but they were trying to get him to have a bottle of milk which he wasn't taking (maybe because gums were sore) - and then I saw the dad lose his temper and grab the back of the baby's head roughly to hold it in place and shove the bottle in his mouth, he coughed and choked on it while crying but then did start drinking, I was just so shocked and upset by this that I walked away, but now I'm wondering whether I should say something. I don't know if it's a worrying sign or whether I'm just being too sensitive and it's none of my business. If I saw anyone do that to my baby I wouldn't be letting them near him again, even if it was his Dad, and I did say that to his Mum later on (she was there while this happened) she didn't seem to like it but also didn't seem to feel able to say anything.

Overmydeadbody Wed 03-Jun-09 10:46:44

I'm inclined to say don't say anything, they sound like they where very stressed (it is hard with babies) and if they are generally loving caring parents then it was probably a one off.

If you're really worried talk to the mother in a supportive non-gudgemental way.

They would probably be just as shocked if someone else treated their baby like that, and not let them near them again, but it's different when you're the parent isn't it?

Overmydeadbody Wed 03-Jun-09 10:48:43

I have a friend who's husband is rough with their two sons, shouts a lot, and always seems stressed and angry with the children, but I would never say anything to her (or him). I know she tries to balance it out by being extra kind and gentle and fun, and she is a fantastic mum, but I also knows she does whatever she can to keep him placated and calm, I see it all the time sad

JeffVadar Wed 03-Jun-09 15:29:24

I think you have done what you can for the time being; it could just be a one off.

However, if it happened again when they were at my house I would say something to the father, and if he got cross - too bad!

If he is making a habit of it, it is really up to the mother to deal with it; I would have been furious if DH had done that to DS!

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