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man across road convicted yesterday of sexual harassment to a child

(14 Posts)
pamelat Tue 02-Jun-09 19:16:51

We live in a nice area, nice people.

Been here 6 years. DD 16 months. Lots of children on our road.

Been friendly with a man across the road for couple of years. He lives with elderly mum. He has given us plants in the past and seemed nice enough. Always thought he was a bit lonely.

Last summer a little girl (aged 14) told me that he had been inappropriate with her, no details. She said she had already told her mum and that the police were involved.

She is a young 14.

Didnt think much of it, innocent until proven guilty etc etc.

Today her mum came round and the man pleaded guilty yesterday.

Her mum was upset and said she was telling everyone with children on the street.

Nothing physical happened between man and her daughter but it was more about him telling her what could happened and that he enjoyed watching her etc et ............. horrible.

Her mum mentioned previous convictions too of a similar nature but not sure about these.

Feel upset to live here.

He has no plans to move. I dont think that the family with the girl will move either, they should not have to really.

So, do we move?

And do we have to tell anyone who buys our house about the man? Morally I would obliged but no one may want to live here now, and we dont know enough details about previous convictions?

Stupidly I also feel that I wont know what to say or do when this man now talks to us. I would not want to be rude, but its very difficult.

I am not sure that I want to live somewhere with all these difficulties.

ReginaCovington Tue 02-Jun-09 19:17:29

oh calm down fsg
there are sex offenders everywhere

TheArmadillo Tue 02-Jun-09 19:19:46

unless you were planning to use him to babysit your kids I'm not sure exactly how it has any affect on you hmm

CrushWithEyeliner Tue 02-Jun-09 19:19:48

I totally understand how you feel. But you don't have to move - in a way it is good that you know what is going on. I would just back off from him if you know for sure what has ben going on. But no, you don't have to move away.

edam Tue 02-Jun-09 19:20:21

I suppose potentially we all live on the same street as a paedophile - given the number of paedophiles in the population divided by the number of houses. At least you know where this one is and that he's to be avoided.

And no, if you sell your house, of course you don't have to tell the purchaser! There's nothing written down and no proof that you know.

Wouldn't worry about being rude to him either, I'd either ignore him or be VERY brisk.

HeadFairy Tue 02-Jun-09 19:22:23

I wouldn't move, at least you and all your neighbours know who he is and what he's capable of so you can keep an eye on him. Much better than being ignorant that there was someone with his tendencies living near you.

TheProfiteroleThief Tue 02-Jun-09 19:24:35

I don't understand this 'there are sex offenders everywhere' blase attitude. it is bloody awful. Of course I understand that they live everywhere, but when it is signposted in such a way, of course it is disconcerting.

I agree better the devil you know, but yuk all the same.

ReginaCovington Tue 02-Jun-09 19:25:52

there ARE sex offenders everywhere
to move becuase of it?
giev yourself time.

KingCanuteIAm Tue 02-Jun-09 19:26:12

If he has previous convictions and he has pleaded guilty isn't it likely he will be remanded?

You say he has no plans to move, how do you know? Have you spoken to him?

His actions are disgusting (obviously) but I am a bit hmm about the mums actions. If he lives with his elderly mother things like this lead to hate campaigns against family members, even if the perpetrator does leave. Also she can be arrested for her behaviour and charged, I doubt that will help her daughter much...

There are sex offenders we don't know about all over the country, at least you know about this one and can behave appropriatly, if you move there is no way to be sure that you won't move next door to another one.

JustFiveMoreMinutes Tue 02-Jun-09 19:27:11

It must have been quite a shock, but don't rush to move. I would have the same reaction, but it would be a hasty decision and one you may come to regret. You could easily move to a new area and find there are several in the neighbourhood.

As for how to treat him, no need to be rude. I would do as edam suggests.

pamelat Tue 02-Jun-09 19:33:17

I know sex offenders are everywhere, it does not mean that I should tolerate living near one.

My mum is child abuse police officer. I am not worried about this man and my DD (yet) as she so much younger than the girl.

Just thinking that if can afford to move then surely its better to move to somewhere where these people might not be. I don't think that they live on every street hmm. Surely its better to move away from such horrible-ness?

Also, its not going to be nice to live somewhere where there are now tensions between him and the family next door.

Not spoken to him at all and feel a bit difficult about it. have not seen him. The mum said she asked the police whether he would have to move and they said no, and that he had no plans to move.

Paid a premium to live in this area, might as well make some cash and move?

lljkk Tue 02-Jun-09 19:36:41

Actually, Registered Sex Offenders are relatively rare. I worked it out once, maybe 1/3000 adult men, something like that. Most of us not living on the same street as one, anyway.
BUT, most of us are living within ~3 miles of one or more.
And anyway, most sexual predators aren't discovered, or they never get convicted (because of complicated social reasons).

I can understand OP wanting to move. I think you just have to see how things go. If the guy pleaded guilty might he get a custodial sentence? Maybe he'll get hounded out by the neighbours, anyway .

KingCanuteIAm Tue 02-Jun-09 20:07:26

The number of sex offenders who are registered is pretty small compared to the number of SO there actually are. Yes it may be 3 miles of a RSO so it must be much less than that of a SO yes?

lljkk Wed 03-Jun-09 14:30:24

This link explains why the RSO numbers tend to go up and up.

Only a small porportion, I think it might be about 8%, of people on the SO list attacked children under 16 (which is an important distinction to me, if no one else).

The newspapers sometimes say the real number of paedos in UK could be as high as 200,000, but no one can say for sure. A lot, maybe the vast majority, of perpetrators are contextual only; they would have and indeed have only offended among their closest family members.

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