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She is very ugly and messy hair!

(10 Posts)
NormaLeighLucid Fri 22-May-09 10:09:20

My DS 7 who normally loves school, never really says he doesnt want to go woke up saying he felt sick. I said well lets have some breakfast and she how you are.
All the time im thinking he is fine and it must be something else, after some questioning it transpires that his usual teacher is off with a sore throat and there is a supply teacher standing in and he doesnt want to go to school because she is very ugly and has messy hair! ( I had to try not to laugh at this point)

Now he is a good boy, never gets told off or needs much discipline so this has really suprised me.

I tried to reason with him about people cant help the way they look, he reasoned back that they should go to the hair dressers or comb their hair - good point

I said that beauty come from within and you cant judge people on how they look and Im sure she is lovely, he reasoned that she might be very nice but she is not very nice to look at and she should make herself look nicer by doing what he does in the morning like combing his hair and brushing his teeth. {memories of my halitosis teacher from yr5 came flooding back}

How do I teach him not to judge people on appearance, what am I doing wrong?

poopscoop Fri 22-May-09 10:11:22

not alot you can do after what you have already said.

That is children im afraid, they say what they see.

KirstyJC Fri 22-May-09 10:14:25

Tee hee - sorry, this made me chuckle grin.

(Not much help I realise!)

Don't think you are doing anything wrong - kids like to see conformity and are thrown by people who look different - my DS1 (5) is very interested in a child in his school with a wheelchair, keeps on saying why does he have it and can he have one when he is older so he doesn't have to get achey legs when walking!!

I think you have told him all the right stuff, and he will just have to get used to it. Tell him he needs to go to school and work so hard that he won't notice her! Hopefully, after a while he will get used to her and not notice.

Overmydeadbody Fri 22-May-09 10:16:09

Appearane plays a big part in forming our first impressions about others.

He has made some valid points. I don't think you are doing anything wrong.

But that's life. He needs to acept that he can't pick and choose who teaches him etc based on appearance. He needs to get used to it.

I feel for him though.

Rubyrubyruby Fri 22-May-09 10:18:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Overmydeadbody Fri 22-May-09 10:19:59

Children (like adults) prefer asthetically pleasing faces. Even babies (in studies) will spend longer looking at pictures of 'asthetically pleasing' faces over ones that are not asthetically pleasing.

Overmydeadbody Fri 22-May-09 10:20:32

lol ruby

muffle Fri 22-May-09 10:27:40

Oh I remember having a new teacher when I was 8 halfway through the year. We loved our old teacher and hated the new one and I remember her being ugly and awkward was very relevant blush - however, we got used to her and grew to love her, and I remember at the end of that year showering her with presents.

(I also remember some teachers with really foul breath which is less forgivable I think - it is possible to do something about that in most cases...)

I think you have to say you might not like what she looks like at first but you still have to respect people and you still have to go to school. (Or could it be that this is a cover for some other reason why he's upset?)

At least he doesn't seem to be judging her in this way because she's female (as he compared her to himself) - which is something!

NormaLeighLucid Sat 23-May-09 00:09:02

Thanks for all your responses and to Ruby and Kirty for making me grin

He came home and seemed happy enough, I asked him how it went and he said she was fine and that her hair was a bit better today.

Im going to give seven year old boys a wide berth maybe they are all that judgemental.
Maybe I should put some make up on for the next school run.

brimfull Sun 31-May-09 11:04:07

is her hair that bad? have you seen it?

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