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Neighbour just told me they have cancer

(3 Posts)
HarrietSpecter Tue 20-Feb-18 18:59:58

My neighbour - who I don't know very well - has told me she has just been diagnosed and needs treatment

What should I do? Should I take her flowers/chocolates/a card, what is an appropriate thing to do?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Wed 21-Feb-18 11:12:02

HI - I think it would be nice to pop round with a bunch of flowers and ask if she needs anything.

Is she elderly? On her own? Does she need your help getting too and from appointments?

Without knowing what type of cancer and how advanced it is, not sure what else you can do really. Nice of you to care though.

BackforGood Wed 21-Feb-18 11:33:52

Depending on your availability, I would offer what I could in practical terms - lifts to places, maybe some shopping or a plated up meal taking round, or maybe just a listening ear.
A friend of mine is having chemo at the moment. He neighbour sends food round for 3 days after each chemo. Friend is actually fortunately feeling OK, not reacting badly to it at all, but she says it just makes her feel so loved, and cared for.
I had cancer treatment when my dc were younger - again, I was fortunate and not "too ill", but the most help was people who said - "please tell me what I can do to help" - mostly it was giving my dc a lift to an activity I would normally have taken them to or something really simple like that, when I couldn't drive. It was important to me life continued as normal as possible for them and dh was already missing work for appts and taking on most of what I normally did for them.
For my friend, she really wanted people to walk round the block or round the local park with her, as the 4 walls were driving her mad but she was supposed to avoid being in enclosed spaces with other people because of risk of infection, but craved company.
It is different for everyone, so ask her, and let her know you are one of the ones that mean it, not just saying it.

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