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If you are NC with your sister..

(23 Posts)
mrssunshinexxx Mon 12-Feb-18 07:42:41

Why (brief reason) do you miss them / think you'll ever speak again ? Does it affect relations with parents xx

mrssunshinexxx Mon 12-Feb-18 13:11:25


PurpleDaisies Mon 12-Feb-18 13:12:37

Why are you asking?

Wawawaa Mon 12-Feb-18 13:23:50

Nope. There are only so many times you can try to build a relationship with someone and only so much abuse that's acceptable to take. So no I don't miss her. We speak frostily at family events. smile

Happygolucky009 Mon 12-Feb-18 13:31:30

I miss the idea of a sister but I don't miss the reality and issues whuch led to our estrangement. I can't ever see us ever being friends and it has devastated our parents, who now sees very little of my sibling at her choice.

ems137 Mon 12-Feb-18 13:46:08

Nah she's a two faced bitch and I could never trust her again.

Ellendegeneres Mon 12-Feb-18 13:58:53

Christ no I don’t miss her, she’s absolutely the most spiteful, vile, vindictive piece of shit I’ve ever had the misfortune of knowing. Thank god I eliminated her from my life before I had my dc.
I don’t miss it; I can’t tbink of a single thing that was a positive about having it in my life.
I have chosen the type of person I want to be surrounded by, and am a happier person as such.

JaneEyre70 Mon 12-Feb-18 14:04:47

I'm not in contact with my sister, and it's gradually breaking me. But last week she put a status on FB calling this disabled woman she "looks" after her sister, so I've obviously been replaced. I've not made a huge fuss over it, but it's like a knife to my heart and I'm finally done with her manipulation and vicious behaviour. Most of my extended family no longer talk to me thanks to her stories and lies, and I really don't understand what I've ever done to make her hate me so much.
It does affect my relationship with my mum - she's desperate for us to sort it out, and it's upsetting her which I don't like doing. My dad thankfully is very neutral and doesn't get involved.
I don't know how I would have coped without my DH and DDs.

mrssunshinexxx Mon 12-Feb-18 18:02:31

Thank you for all your responses they are more helpful than you know

I suppose it's normal to think of someone your NC with that was once such a big part of your life otherwise we would be heartless.

I'm due to get married very soon and I find myself thinking about her so often but I can't pretend for one day it would feel so false plus she wouldn't come

gillybeanz Mon 12-Feb-18 18:06:50

I think it's normal under the circumstances, especially if other family members are involved too.

I don't think I'd ever be told if my sister had died tbh, parents have long gone and only my other sister left.

There is only so many times you can put your case across, if they aren't prepared to look at your side or acknowledge your decision was all you could take, then you can't do anymore.
This is my situation btw.

Happygolucky009 Mon 12-Feb-18 21:15:39

Mrs sunshine, congratulations and good luck with your wedding. I put up with a ton of crap before we finally went our seperate ways, my wedding day was completely spoiled by my sister, changing things at last moment, getting upset at the order of things and taking offence at something said to her by the manager. I spent weeks after my wedding trying to make it up to her hmm, she has no idea that I spent much of the day being sick with anxiety as i could tell she was upset and didn't want a Jeremy Kyle fallout. Sometimes things are what they are sad

bastardkitty Mon 12-Feb-18 21:20:10

I don't miss mine and there won't be any more contact. She was sneaky and manipulative and it had to be about her at all times.

mrssunshinexxx Tue 13-Feb-18 06:19:46

Thanks x
Sounds selfish but it's quite comforting to know it's not just me who isn't best friends with mine

Timefortea99 Tue 13-Feb-18 06:29:34

I have been NC with my sister for 30 plus years. Wish her well but do not want a relationship with her. I feel no connection to her. She was a complete pain and I have never felt the loss from not seeing her. Other people gradually contacted her throughout the years, and then wish they had not bothered. She was bad news - she may have changed with age but I don't need to find out.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Thu 15-Feb-18 17:18:34

I've been NC with my sister for a couple of years now, well, to be more accurate she's NC with me but I haven't pursued it. Haven't gone crawling around to her to 'apologise' for something was entirely of her making in the first place, which put a couple of family members in danger and which I called her out on.

it is sad, but I don't miss her vindictive diatribes, constant slagging off of her hubby, his family, our family, work colleagues, how she works harder than anyone else in the entire world... I miss seeing my DNs but they are teenagers now and know that they are always welcome at my house, and the argument is between my sister and I, not them.

Stillme1 Thu 15-Feb-18 21:44:39

I am NC with my sister. She has been a greedy nasty grasping horror story her whole life through. She is not even particularly nice to her husband or children. Luckily I acquired a large family on marriage and have "siblings" who have never once been nasty or anything other than fully supportive.

Deeplylemoncrazy Fri 16-Feb-18 01:00:57

I'm so pleased to have found this thread but I'm also sad to see how many others are in a similar position to me.

I used to be very close to my sister but our relationship has deteriorated over the last few years, mainly due to us looking after elderly parents but we had completely opposing views on how much care they needed. On top of this my sister is, and always has been, a manipulative, miserable, control-freak who has to have absolutely everything done her way and does not know how to communicate with people other than by shouting. I'm not for one minute saying I'm perfect, but I know I am far more easy going and (usually) reasonable.

Both parents have now passed away and things came to a head a few months ago after our father died. My sister suddenly became nastier than I have ever known her and said a whole load of really horrible things to me. I wasn't in a position to deal with it because I was grieving. I decided at that point that the best thing to do was go NC. Unfortunately her (grown up) children have decided to side with her. I have no idea why they have done this and can only assume that my sister has fed them a pack of lies. I know that I have done nothing to deserve this treatment and it saddens me as I used to be really close to them. I expected so much more from them as they have all fallen out with her at some point or other, sometimes for years at a time. She is toxic and poisons every relationship.

I feel like I have lost half my family in one go. None of my sister's family have contacted me for months now and have done petty things like 'unfriended' me from social media. I am now thinking of moving away to put some physical distance between me and all of them.

But I can honestly say that my life is better without my sister in it. I'm sad that we don't have the relationship we once had but I can't face going back to how things were. I don't want her judgement and constant criticisms. I'm also sad that others have followed her lead but I've seen another side to them that I didn't know was there. I do have other family members who I get on very well with but none that live locally.

I'm sorry that I've ranted on but it has helped enormously to get it all out. I wish you all well and can honestly say that I know how you feel.

mrssunshinexxx Fri 16-Feb-18 08:04:12

Deeply this threads helped me too flowers

Happygolucky009 Sat 17-Feb-18 00:29:33

Deeply much of my family have succumbed to lies about me from my sister. As time has passed though some family members, when I have asked about specific incidents and contradictions, they have been unable to explain events clearly and whereas I was accused immediately in the past, I do feel my family are now more open to thinking there is more to it and I do feel I am now given the benefit of the doubt!

Deeplylemoncrazy Sat 17-Feb-18 10:52:28

Happy, good to hear that your family are starting to come round. I am sure that my sister has drip-fed her family things about me which just aren't true but I'm just so amazed (and angry) that they are believing her. She is so controlling and they are afraid to get on her wrong side so I guess they've taken the easy option. Part of me would love to know exactly what she has said so that I could put my side across but another part thinks that they if they can't be bothered to ask my side before making decisions to cut me off then they really aren't worth bothering with.

MrsSunshine, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hijack your post.

mrssunshinexxx Sat 17-Feb-18 11:04:09

Don't worry I'm glad if it helps anyone else

Deeplylemoncrazy Sat 17-Feb-18 13:16:24

It seems like it has helped a few of us. Thanks for raising the subject smile

reddingtn Sat 17-Feb-18 13:21:21

I'm sad that we're NC but I've reached out numerous times and been ignored. If she got in touch now I wouldn't reply.

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