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Toddler not talking at nursery

(16 Posts)
Blomme Thu 08-Feb-18 12:05:10

I'm wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and can give advice?
My toddler, just over 2.5 years, won't speak to the staff at nursery. He occasionally talks to the children at nursery and talks to me and his dad and other people he knows well. He's been at the nursery for nearly 4 months and it isn't his first nursery.
He does seem to be a bit shy but on the other hand was happily chatting to a stranger on the train recently. He's not amazing at speaking but has lots of words and some simple sentences.
Has anyone got any advice? Been in a similar situation? I just feel a bit sad that he doesn't talk to the staff at nursery.

Blomme Thu 08-Feb-18 17:01:56


VaguelyAware Thu 08-Feb-18 17:26:05

My DD was the same. She started nursery at around 2.4, & could speak reasonably well, but didn't speak to anyone for the first few months. The staff spotted her talking to some of the other children after about 3 months (they'd previously assumed she was non-verbal), & DD didn't speak to any of the staff until she'd been attending for about 6 months. DD took quite a while to settle at nursery - she seemed to enjoy it when she was there, & played quite happily with the other children, but would always cry when we dropped her off. The daily crying stopped around the time that she started speaking to the staff.
I would just give your DS some time.

RandomMess Thu 08-Feb-18 17:45:18

One of mine was virtually a selective mute until she was nearly 6 and had her grommets fitted!!

lorisparkle Thu 08-Feb-18 17:53:58

Ds3 seemed to enjoy pre school and reception but rarely spoke to anyone. We had never had problems at home but he had more separation anxiety than either ds1 and ds2 and still at year 3 he would prefer to be at home. In reception he took our cat in to show during their pet topic and the teacher was amazed at how he talked. I was a bit upset that he was not showing his skills but I just accepted the way he is and As he has got older he does talk more at school.

Blomme Thu 08-Feb-18 22:23:58

Thanks for the replies. Ds doesn't cry and drop off or have separation anxiety, so that's something. Similar to above - after about a month his key worker heard him talking to another child so she knows that he can talk. And he chats away when I collect him, not a word to adults in between.

Blomme Wed 21-Feb-18 16:35:23

Hello, a bit of an update so I wonder if anyone's still reading this?
DS has become more shy at nursery, completely avoiding eye contact with the staff in his room. On the other hand he was happily chatting away to a stranger in the supermarket yesterday. Very recently he's been putting his hand under one of our chins(at home), using his hand to turn us to look at him while saying "look at me!". Not sure what to do about this. Isn't this odd behaviour?

Xulishesthepilot Wed 21-Feb-18 16:47:50

It does sound odd, but could equally be nothing. I'm afraid I'm no sort of expert, but could you run it by your health visitor if you're worried? My ds does turn my face to look at him if he wants to get my attention so that could be something he's come by himself, or it could be something he's getting from the adults at nursery; is that what you think? Perhaps he's confident with strangers when he's got his mum with him but not so much when you're not there? God, I'm no help am i!

Bekabeech Wed 21-Feb-18 17:15:19

If he is turning your head - I would go to the GP and ask for a proper hearing test.
I would also tell them the extent of your concerns and make it clear that if the hearing seems okay you will want a referral to a paediatrician.
Its probably something simple like blocked ears, and it could be background noise that is part of the issue. But as you are concerned and it is not "going away" then getting proper medical advice is the way to go.

Blomme Wed 21-Feb-18 17:57:56

Hmm... on collecting him earlier it seems it's not all staff that he avoids contact with...

Dodie66 Wed 21-Feb-18 18:04:36

I too thought you should get hearing checked. So he talks to some staff?

Blomme Wed 21-Feb-18 18:11:44

Sorry I meant that he looks some staff in the eye. Other staff he can't look in the eye, looks down or away as if intimidated. He hardly talks at nursery at all. He chats away to family and occasionally ransoms 😕

leighdinglady Wed 21-Feb-18 18:23:04

I'd be concerned about this. Can you speak to other mums and see what their children have said about staff? Do they like the staff etc

Dodie66 Wed 21-Feb-18 18:52:20

I’d be concerned too. I think something must be going on at the nursery. He doesn’t sound at all happy.

RandomMess Wed 21-Feb-18 20:32:18

Sounds like nursery are trying to force the issue sadI would be looking elsewhere tbh.

Blomme Thu 22-Feb-18 11:45:52

Thanks for the replies. I'll talk to the nursery and if it doesn't improve I'll have to move him. Apart from this he's happy there.

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