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Should I still send my Nieces/Newphews xmas presents?

(17 Posts)
jemmstar1980 Sun 17-Dec-17 13:05:23

Long story but my brother had re-married and had more kids. He know believes his family should run around after him like the new wife’s (she is an only child). I’ve put up with it for years and lost my shit this year which resulted in lots of insults my way and me no longer be invited to his house over Christmas period. So I’ve asked him not to be contact with me anymore.

I’ve alreay brought the nieces and newphews some gifts but don’t know whether I should still send them down via other family. I’m certainly not sending him and his wife and presents.

The nieces and newphews from the first marriage are grown up and they plan to visit me next weekend so I will give them their gifts then.

I don’t want the younger nieces and newphews to miss out, but I am also bladdy minded to regift their expensive presents which were demanded fof me from the SIL.

Blackteadrinker77 Sun 17-Dec-17 13:12:50

I would, it's not their fault.

jemmstar1980 Sun 17-Dec-17 13:59:21

I agree blackteadrinker just annoyed as I won’t get to see them at all now, they refuse to attend any other family event as they are too busy (aka can’t be bothered and expect family to go to their house at certain times for a set amount of time). And I live a six hour drive away.

Think I’m going to cancel the order of designer coats I was told to buy and just send down the £10 toys I brought.

MyBrilliantDisguise Sun 17-Dec-17 14:02:30

I wouldn't give them anything, tbh. You're told what to buy them? Bollocks to that. And they can't be bothered to visit? Bollocks again.

Insomnibrat Sun 17-Dec-17 14:06:13

Certainly mitigate the loss BU cancelling the designer coats! I'm sure at least half the blame for them not receiving the coats is their Dad's fault.

Unfortunately some people believe the whole world revolves around them.

jemmstar1980 Sun 17-Dec-17 14:19:51

MyBrilloantDisguise - DH is of this view, he’s been telling me for years to not put up with their antics.

Yes very much told what to buy them, this year it was a £85 and a £95 Armani puffer coats. When I’ve dared to say before I prefer to spend this kind of money treating them when I see them I’ve been told I can afford it and I should get them something they want (7 and 4 year old). It is usually a demand for money or gift vouchers. Very rarely get a thanks and never told what the money voucher has been spent on (suspect themselves).

They’ve visited me a grand total of twice since the 7 year old was born.

AnnabelleLecter Sun 17-Dec-17 14:21:10

I would send them presents. Not their fault. I have a grown up Niece and Nephew who are very close us despite differences in the family. I think part of that closeness is because we never treated them any different regardless of their parents
twatty behaviour.

AJPTaylor Sun 17-Dec-17 14:24:12

Send them toys not Armani costs.

jemmstar1980 Sun 17-Dec-17 14:25:20

Two of the three older niece and nephews are over 18 so I normally put a £5 in their card for a drink, the 16 year old gets what I buy or will give me some ideas. The original wife still thanks me.

AlpacaLypse Sun 17-Dec-17 14:26:01

Definitely cancel the coats, just send the toys.

CassandraCross Sun 17-Dec-17 14:28:56

Cancel the designer coats, who the hell do they think they are demanding that sort of gift???

Send the gifts you have already bought and then have nothing more to do with them. You can continue to acknowledge birthdays and Christmas for the niece and nephew by sending a card and a token gift/voucher.

AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley Sun 17-Dec-17 14:32:22

Send the toys back with the older DC. They seem balanced, and less likely to not give the gifts to the younger DC, or pretend they're from someone other than you.

jemmstar1980 Sun 17-Dec-17 14:34:17

Yes and they can’t stand me apparently, the list of abuse I got was quite long... I just sat there thinking actually I don’t give a damn! I dared to say that 5pm wasn’t too late for them to bring the niece and newphew to a family event, they could have left after an hour and been home by 6.30. I don’t have kids but 6.30 isn’t too late a night for a 7 and 4 year old on Christmas right?

Chaosofcalm Sun 17-Dec-17 14:39:56

On Christmas Day - if it is too late for them will all depends on what time they get up.

jemmstar1980 Sun 17-Dec-17 15:02:50

No sorry not Christmas Day - Christmas Eve, evening. We go to an aunts to play games but due to her work schedule that day she’s asked if would could start at 5pm this year - kids games will be until 6/6.30pm. My cousin is bringing her kids as she said there’s no chance she will get them off to bed for 7pm (they are 6 and 3)

NewtsSuitcase Sun 17-Dec-17 15:07:43

Leaving aside all of the other issues about cheeky present requests I wouldn't have wanted to take young children out at 5pm on Christmas eve.

Maxbenji Fri 22-Dec-17 11:24:57

Send them the toys not the coats and no that's definitely not too late on Xmas eve for kids! We're at PILs on Xmas eve and will probably be leaving at 4 and back home to 5.30, I would do later (usually leave after tea at 6/6.30) but I want to get some bits done for Xmas day... and my LO is 2!

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