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Do I confront by naighbours?

(51 Posts)
Funnyfarmer Fri 15-Dec-17 11:38:32

Yesterday while I was on the school run my dd left for college in a hurry and didn't close the front door properly nor did she close the gate. Our front door automatically locks from the outside so we always just close it and not lock it. If it doesn't click in properly the dog can open the door from the inside this has happened twice before now in 4 years, this is the only time it's happened while no one has been home.
So I get home and my dog is In the front garden and my front door wide open just as im going in my house my phone rings. It's work. " you need to go home straight away"
"I know" I said "I've just got home my door is wide open, how did you know"?
"Your naighbour phoned work"
I thought what a lovely naighbour, nice to know someone would do that rather than take the opportunity to rob me blind
So I knocked on a few doors because I wanted to thank them. No one knew anything.
So this morning my next door neighbour said " I know who phoned your work. It was Jane doe from the next street.
I spoke to Jane this morning who told me my dog was running in and out of the road causing cars to swerve and restricting her from walking past the house with her dogs
She said she had to barricade herself in the naighbours garden because my dog kept going to attack her. She said she was outside my house for 20 minutes shouting and screaming but no one came out. So she phoned my work but I wasn't in so she phoned her sister, her sisters husband is my window cleaner so knows my dog they managed to get him in the garden.
I explained what had happened and apologised but explained my dog was only protecting the house and was probably scared.
Anyway I go in work this morning to find she phoned work shouting and swearing at my colleague. My colleague is only young and still training and was pretty upset
She said my neighbour said " I don't know whether she's been robbed, but I'm going to kill that fucking dog and give her a piece of my mind"
So now I'm really annoyed 1 because she thought I had been robbed and never bothered to phone the police and 2 the way she spoke to my colleague it was nothing to do with her and certainly couldn't do anything about it and most definitely doesn't get paid enough to deal with kind of abuse.
So basically there was a dog in danger if she was so concerned about him going for people maybe the next person who walked past wouldn't have been able to run to another garden. He has never bit anyone though not ever but he obviously felt threatened and I do know he can appear aggressive and he been known to fight with other dogs in the past not often but if they go for him he will retaliate I imagine if a dogs owner felt threatened by a dog they would attack.
So should I go round and have words or just leave it?
Anything could have happened like she said someone could have broken in robbed me, or even worse they could have broken in while me and my daughter's was there and hurt us and my dog was trying to raise alarm.

Zioanna Fri 15-Dec-17 11:43:56

She shouldn’t have spoken to your colleague the way she did but she was obviously under a lot of stress. This is your fault - what an awful experience for her, I think you should apologise.

gingerbreadmam Fri 15-Dec-17 11:47:01

Speaking to your colleague like that was unfair however it sounds like she was scared.

Nothing else she has done is at fault. The issue lies with the door and gate not being closed properly.

PortiaCastis Fri 15-Dec-17 11:49:06

Is she a friend as she knows where you work and the phone number?

Funnyfarmer Fri 15-Dec-17 11:51:03

I have already apologised. Not really my fault. My daughter accidentally left the door open I wasn't home. It was accident.
I understand it wouldn't have been pleasant for her. I'm more annoyed that she actually thought I'd been burgled and her 1st thought was to phone my work and have a go at them. She didn't know my work had contacted me so untill this morning 24 hours later she had no idea that I was safe.

SleepFreeZone Fri 15-Dec-17 11:54:51

You're lucky she didn't ring the police and risk him being euthanased. It sounds pretty scary!

NaiceBiscuits Fri 15-Dec-17 11:54:54

No, it's not ok for you to give her a mouthful.

Your dog frightened her. She was responsible and managed to phone your work to let you know.

Yes, she was frightened (which often comes out as anger) and said something in the heat of the moment, but she could have left your door open and your dog running around and done nothing.

She actually deserves thanks and an apology from you

Quartz2208 Fri 15-Dec-17 11:58:55

You apologise she was clearly reacting in stress to a stressful situation your family had caused. You say he can appear aggressive and your dog was under stress to so probably appear as suchy

Funnyfarmer Fri 15-Dec-17 12:00:59

I work in retail and she's a regular customer.
We used to chat all the time about our dogs so she knows my dog has issues he's blind and didn't have an easy life untill he came to us. That's why he barks so much. Too much noise around him panics him
In the last few months she's stopped even saying hello so I'm now wondering if something eles is going on.
I don't think she has particularly done anything wrong it's what she didn't do.
Surly if you spot a naighbours door wide open and the dog running round wild you would think something is wrong?
She could have also just walked round the other block. She shouldn't have to no but she could have.

Possumfish Fri 15-Dec-17 12:02:00

I agree with previous posters. None of this is her fault. She was scared of your dog - reasonable response. And your dd needs a talk.about being responsible - She's in collage! Your neighbor deserves an apology from you and a very big thank you!

Funnyfarmer Fri 15-Dec-17 12:03:16

She did leave my door open and the dog running wild. It was another naighbour who closed the gate when the dog went back in.

Spam88 Fri 15-Dec-17 12:10:17

I think you should be more concerned with making sure your daughter actually closes the door when she leaves.

RatherBeRiding Fri 15-Dec-17 12:11:47

The issue is with your daughter's appalling carelessness - your dog could have been killed, could have attacked someone, could have caused a car accident, your house could have been burgled.

I think that by directing your annoyance with it should lie (your daughter) and not by blaming someone out walking their own dogs and faced with a loose and aggressive looking dog you might prevent this happening again.

Yes of course the neighbour could have called the police but sounds like she had enough stress with the situation and just wanted to get herself and her own dogs safely out of the way.

Oh, and it wasn't an "accident" - your daughter was careless. End of.

Funnyfarmer Fri 15-Dec-17 12:13:30

Oh I've spoken to my daughter.
As I said I have apologised and said thank you for phoning my work. She didn't phone to let me know she phoned to have a go at me. I just feel a bit of a mug now because I apologised and thanked her before I knew the full story.
She probably was scared even though she did say " my Dobermans would have ripped him apart" and she right the could. He's only a tiny thing she could have walked round she could have let her dogs off she felt that threatened it wasn't a life or death situation. He wasn't chasing her he was restricting her coming near the gate she could have crossed over the road.
Surly after a while when she had calmed down she could have thought to herself " actually wonder if everything is ok?
Should I not even ask her why she didn't phone the police?
I just think it would be the neighbourly thing to do

curryforbreakfast Fri 15-Dec-17 12:15:58

You want to confront your neighbour because your vicious dog was out loose terrifying people?
Seriously, that is your take away from this scenario?

NoSquirrels Fri 15-Dec-17 12:17:21

It was a stressful situation for both of you. Let it go, seriously.

She did call your work, she did get help to secure your dog.

It could have been much worse.

Branleuse Fri 15-Dec-17 12:17:51

Your daughter needs a serious bollocking for being so fucking careless that she just waltzed out leaving the house and the gate open.
Your dog could have caused a serious accident, could have bitten someone or been killed.

Your neighbour and yoour colleague deserve an apology from you and your daughter needs to grow up and take responsibility.

NoSquirrels Fri 15-Dec-17 12:18:59

Why don’t you ask ALL your neighbours and every passer by why they didn’t call the police?

You’re being unreasonable and taking it out on the wrong person. Get your daughter to go round with a box of chocolates to say sorry.

Chrys2017 Fri 15-Dec-17 12:21:42

1. I would not phone the police because a neighbour had left their door open.
2. The issue was your admittedly aggressive dog running around, provoking other dogs and frightening people. You are lucky she did not call the police about the dog because they would at the least have seized it and possibly quarantined it.
3. Is it possible that what your colleague told you has been embellished to make it sound more dramatic?
In any case, I would leave it. Sounds like you got off lightly.

Funnyfarmer Fri 15-Dec-17 12:24:14

Yes my daughter was careless and I've words with her I do understand how it's happened though. We rarely use the front door so it never gets opened it wasn't that it didn't close it's the little thing that pops into the lock that sometimes doesn't pop in properly so it appears closed and is you tried to open it from the outside it wouldn't open but a nudge from the inside handle will open it which is what happened.
I just feel she feel she acted very selfishly
As someone said my dog could have been hurt or hurt someone eles. What my daughter did wasn't on purpose. What she did or didn't do was.

GreyMorning Fri 15-Dec-17 12:26:56

You are the one that has broken the law in all of this so you should be grateful she didn't call the police.

NoSquirrels Fri 15-Dec-17 12:34:16

Regardless of it being an accident, your DD caused the dog to be running amok (and your house to be unsecured). She should apologise to the neighbour & say thank you for contacting the window cleaner.

You’re really being very unreasonable indeed to blame your neighbour or call her “selfish”. She doesn’t sound especially pleasant, swearing and shouting threats around, but neither can you make this her fault!

Funnyfarmer Fri 15-Dec-17 12:34:40

Why don’t you ask ALL your neighbours and every passer by why they didn’t call the police?
Spoke to other naighbours they said they didn't see anything. I don't know who closed the gate I'm just going off what Jane told me
There's absolutely no need to quarantine my dog he was simply protecting the house
Really if you saw a naighbours door open there dog had escaped and you knew no one was in the house it wouldn't occur to you to inform the police?
Jane told me she was fuming when she phoned my work. I have no reason to assume my colleague would be exaggerating.

Hullygully Fri 15-Dec-17 12:36:23

He has never bit anyone though not ever but he obviously felt threatened and I do know he can appear aggressive and he been known to fight with other dogs in the past not often but if they go for him he will retaliate I imagine if a dogs owner felt threatened by a dog they would attack.

Nuff said.

curryforbreakfast Fri 15-Dec-17 12:37:59

Really if you saw a naighbours door open there dog had escaped and you knew no one was in the house it wouldn't occur to you to inform the police?

Of course no, why would the police care about your dog?

Your one was fuming because your dog was trying to attack her! And you're mad at her for being mad?

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