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Physically impossible to sleep in the same bed as DP

(18 Posts)
kittydetective Tue 12-Dec-17 07:03:23

I really don't know what to do, I'm totally miserable through lack of sleep.

It is PHYSICALLY impossible to share a bed with DP.

He SNORES so fucking loud you can hear it no matter what room you are in.

He also sleeps so heavy that he moves so he is vertical across the bed, so there is literally no room for me.

Every night I now end up in the spare room.

We've been together a year and both in our 40's (I have a DS4) we are in the process of buying a house and right this second I don't want to as I am so fucking tired

SoulStew Tue 12-Dec-17 07:07:43

Just move into the spare room permanently. Why bother starting in a bed you know you won’t stay in? It’s not like your entire marriage will crash and burn without spending 8 hours a night unconscious next to each other. I never got this obsession with having a ‘marital bed’.

gamerchick Tue 12-Dec-17 07:08:06

Claim that spare room, don’t even attempt to sleep with him for the minute.

He needs to go to a sleep clinic to sort that snoring out. If he doesn’t try then he’s selfish.

AdalindSchade Tue 12-Dec-17 07:09:11

Have separate rooms! Why not?

gamerchick Tue 12-Dec-17 07:09:18

Me neither. I love my bedroom. Even now he has his cpap machine I’m reluctant to give up my room grin

kittydetective Tue 12-Dec-17 07:09:55

Ok I hear you 👍🏼

I do know of marriages / relationships that have crumbled due to separate beds. But to be honest, I'm so tired through NO sleep and I mean NO sleep I'm more likely to blow a gasket as I'm so grumpy.

kittydetective Tue 12-Dec-17 07:10:37

What's a cpap machine

AdalindSchade Tue 12-Dec-17 07:11:01

Why though? As long as you still make time for sex and cuddling and chatting why should it affect the marriage?

AdalindSchade Tue 12-Dec-17 07:11:37

Sleep deprivation is a type of torture. That's far more likely to wreck your marriage than separate rooms

poppyseed1663 Tue 12-Dec-17 07:13:32

My DH also snores like a drill. I found that buying a white noise machine has worked really well (as long as I manage to fall asleep first!).

Roomba Tue 12-Dec-17 07:13:38

My ex and I had separate rooms for this reason. So, so much better. It was unbearable before. And it improved our relationship enormously (yes we split up in the end but that wasn't related at all).

TrojansAreSmegheads Tue 12-Dec-17 07:13:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whizziwig Tue 12-Dec-17 07:13:45

We have separate beds due to DH's terrible insomnia. I got used to it surprisingly quickly and now like having my own space.

kittydetective Tue 12-Dec-17 07:15:52

Right! Separate beds it is .... I can't go on like this.

Thing is he has NO IDEA.

I'm so angry right now which doesn't help

bumblingbovine49 Tue 12-Dec-17 07:17:15

CPAP machine is what a very heavy snorer like your DH needs . Look up sleep apnoea and the side effects (including heart problems and increase risk of heart attacks). Show it to your dp and tell him to go to his GP. He may need to be insistent as it can take time to get help. Maybe record him so he can take it to the GP

LoniceraJaponica Tue 12-Dec-17 07:17:29

CPAP stands for continuous positive airway pressure and is used for people who cannot maintain their airway when they are asleep. For example in cases of sleep apnoea.

OH started to snore a few years ago, and it got louder and louder. He then stopped breathing while he was asleep. After being assessed by the sleep clinic he was issued with a CPAP machine, and now he no longer snores.

Usually snoring is associated with being over weight, but not in OH's case.

TotemIcePole Tue 12-Dec-17 07:20:39

Separate beds, definately.

Coconutcreampie Tue 12-Dec-17 07:21:20

Another one here who has had seoerate beds for 4 years now and has experienced absolutely no decline in our relationship, if anything its better as I'm not constantly pissed off that he's kept me awake and he's not waking feeling guilty every morning.

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