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Whould you be happy if..?

(18 Posts)
Kellychoi Tue 12-Dec-17 03:21:05

Hi mums

I really wonder would you be happy if your only child gets things from aldi or lidl from an auntie (I am not talking about the brands’ quality) and she spent half the money for each one I spent for their two children while I buy stuff from Next(their favourite shop) or M&S even though they both got a very good job(both are detectives) and we didn’t even earn penny(my husband was out of work for 1.5 years at that time and spent money from my savings that I earned in my country and we never got supported by the government or anyone and now only my husband is working. Every time she gave my son those brand’s clothes I feel really really shit. I feel like she deliverately tries to make me feel bad. When we had no income, they weren’t interested in our circumstances whatsoever, just informed us what they wanted to have from us and it wasn’t things that we actually can afford but I managed to buy them. I once bought colouring books from poundland for our niece when she was 3. I only knew Poundland because that shop I only went, nowhere else for us(me, my husband and my few months old baby with no job) and I thought that shop was the only one we can afford and never been anywhere else(I know now all shops have cheapest ones but as I am not English, I didn’t know at that time and I had always a fear that my husband won’t be able to get a job forever and really was the edge between us
Now, my husband has got a job so I buy proper gift for everyone and I am happy that I can buy things and give them with a big smile. But the sister in law(husband’s brother’s wife) keeps buying those in specific shops only for us.
I have evil mind that “should I post it on Facebook for a revenge?” saying “ Thank you Uncle X and Auntie Z for a lovely present from Aldi/Lidl” or should I just ask them “ where do you buy your clothes? They would say “Next” then I say “thanks you bought things from Aldi/Lidl for my son and I bet you wouldn’t buy for your kids or yourself”

Am I bad?

ZigZagandDustin Tue 12-Dec-17 03:23:26

Yep, afraid so.

ZigZagandDustin Tue 12-Dec-17 03:24:43

Lidl and Aldi have fab bits and pieces. I think you should just say thanks and not give it any more in depth analysis.

Lollipop30 Tue 12-Dec-17 03:29:08

I think you sound very ungrateful. You shouldn’t expect anything actually and if you’d rather not receive anything then why not just say you’d rather not swap presents.
Maybe as that’s what you used to get them and bought for yourselves they just think that’s what you like?
My in laws only ever buy cheap token gifts that generally go in the bin. We have tried the ‘let’s do no presents’ but it didn’t work and to be honest I really would prefer they got us nothing rather than cheap tat we don’t want or have room for, But people like buying for others even if they’re not very good at it.

Dsmummy Tue 12-Dec-17 03:37:29

Wow I'm actually a little shocked.
Yes, you probably should put that on Facebook, it will help people realise how grabby and ungrateful some people are.

TrojansAreSmegheads Tue 12-Dec-17 04:17:09

wouldnt bother me.

i also wouldnt buy gifts i couldnt afford.

you do actually have the choice to buy their gifts from the same place they buy yours from you know.

you dont have to do what they say.

Cavender Tue 12-Dec-17 04:44:10

Spend less on them if it bothers you. They might prefer that.

silentpool Tue 12-Dec-17 05:26:04

It's the thought that counts, not the show of giving.

BillywilliamV Tue 12-Dec-17 05:33:02

it is NEVER a good idea to publish the dark thoughts you have at 3.30 in the morning. Read back what you have typed, turn off MN so you ignore the next thousand posts telling you how selfish you are being; and go and have a happy Christmas.

UnicornRainbowColours Tue 12-Dec-17 13:12:41

biscuit

KatnissK Wed 13-Dec-17 08:22:43

Aldi and Lidl are really popular shops though! I think you are over-thinking. I would not be offended by a present from Aldi/ Lidl. If it's the price that upsets you, spend less on her children. Or get their gifts from Aldi / Lidl too. Have you actually been to them? They have some great stuff, you may be surprised!

Kellychoi Thu 14-Dec-17 01:48:20

Thank you very much for your various comments. My post only shows about the gift from Aldi/Lidl. It looks like how bad and immature I am but I have some different background of this post that I haven’t explained.
In my culture, we give and take. We don’t just give someone in one way all the time or don’t give something from not a brand name or from cheap maker. It’s just the way we live and if someone does that everyone thinks that’s very rude and won’t want to be friend with that person anymore. Most people get stress about the expensive gift that they cannot afford but we have to do. Such as to the boss’ wife. We must give whoever not myself or not my first family(husband and wife and kids) with brand named gift or really special. We give a gift concerning whole family, not only for a person who recieves. If I received a gift then I must pay it back at least very silimar value or more in whatever way. If my friend buys me a lunch then I will have to buy her lunch next time mostly with similar price. I know now living with my English husband that gift is a thought of someone and cannot judge with the price tag. I respect that. But I do not agree with that someone said I am selfish. I don’t expect something from them and told them we don’t want any but I don’t want something from somewhere that I would not buy for myself or my kid or Especially for someone else. I know that she would not buy clothes from those shops for herself or her husband or her kids or her motherside family members. That’s why I feel so bad though. I am more than happy she came to see my son on his birthday with a lovely card and gave him a cuddle and little talk. Gift is a thought! I will keep remining myself whenever I am not happy with my son’s gift from her. errr “thank you” and “thank you”. I have a choice to buy things at the same shop but honestly, I cannot do that unless my husband again off work and we have no money.

SleepingStandingUp Thu 14-Dec-17 01:59:59

What's wrong with Lidl? Just because stuff isn't overpriced doesn't mean you're too good for it. They do lovely wooden toys and decent clothes. Now maybe I'm just some scurry lowlife but my son has great boots, a lovely waterproof coat and a pair of awesome fleecy trousers from Lidl. He also has the dolls house from there for Christmas and some other wooden bits and pieces. I find it really odd that you consider it so beneath you buy shopped in tube pound shops...

TheHobbitMum Thu 14-Dec-17 02:01:31

Really? hmm You sound like a complete brand snob! Lidl & Aldi items are not low class trash, have you had a look at the stores yourself? If you don't like that they buy from there, then suggest no gift giving or spend less yourself. I really wouldn't post on Facebook either you'd be shaming yourself not your Sister in law! You are really over thinking this

antimatter Thu 14-Dec-17 02:15:40

I think you have to give in a spirit of the culture you live in, not the one you are coming from.

In the same way you write "thank you" note to everyone who gave you a present here , in Britain.

So the value of what you give is less important, is the manner in which you receive it. Stop spending as much on your in-laws as if you thought they were from you home country.
There's still time to return gifts you purchased and get something cheaper!

Poshindevon Sun 17-Dec-17 04:40:45

Stop spending money on expensive gifts you cant afford and buy what you can afford. Its the thought that counts.

noenergy Sun 17-Dec-17 07:50:44

I have this with my sister, all they wear is next but she would buy my kids from shops that they wouldn't wear themselves, when I one year got her kids something from one of these shops, my DM never heard the end of it and how rubbish the clothes and style was.

Just shows how entitled some people are.

I'm not a brand conscious person, as long as the clothes look good.

Just don't buy stuff you can't afford, you should just give similar if it bothers u that much. But don't expect anything from her then you won't feel let down.

SvartePetter Sun 17-Dec-17 08:03:11

I'm a higher rate tax payer as is my DP. I have bought clothes from Lidl for both myself and the kids. Nothing wrong with them.

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