DS accused of abusing friend(2 Posts)
DS1, 9, is in year 5 and a few months ago struck up a friendship with a boy aged 8 in year 3 (lets call him A) over a mutual love of a certain sport. They had lots of play dates together and get on really well.
I came home this evening and DS1, 9, mentioned that A says that he is no longer allowed to play with DS1 as DS1 hangs out with another friend (lets call him B) who makes inappropriate comments about sex. DS1 told his dad a few weeks ago, maybe longer, than B was saying really weird stuff about putting his willy in someone's mouth and how odd it was. His dad and I were very worried and his dad (my ex) thought we should report to the school. I eventually decided not to as I (stupidly) wanted to give B the benefit on the doubt as he is new at the school and his English isn't good (he moved to the UK in the last year) but told DS1 not to play with B anymore.
When DS1 told me this tonight I quizzed him as to whether HE had also said anything inappropriate to A. He said he hadn't. I then said I was going to text A's mum to try to sort things out/find out what happened and DS1 was ok with that. So, I sent a text to the mum saying that I was aware that B says inappropriate things and that DS1 hangs around with him and didn't want DS1 to be seen in the same light and hoped they could be friends as they get on so well.
I get back a text from the mum saying that A had casually mentioned to her and the dad that B and DS1 had tried to touch A inappropriately and asked him to go to the toilet to have sex. I could barely believe what I was reading. She said she knew that they weren't serious but didn't want A exposed to that, very understandably. I am beyond horrified and have no idea how to deal with this. I asked DS1 if this was true and he got incredibly upset and said he hadn't done anything. He is adamant that he didn't do what A is accusing him of. I genuinely don't think DS1 would do something like that but maybe he went along with what B was doing. I feel awful not believing what my son says but at the same time I cannot ignore what this parent has told me.
Can anyone tell me what do to? I think I will have to speak to the school and report our concerns re B. There is clearly some issue/reason as to why he is saying things. I'm just worried that this whole situation has the potential to escalate when noone really know what happens. I don't know what to do.
You do need to speak to the school and ASAP! You really should have said something about B in the first place as aside from anything, that could be a child at risk...but you know that now I suppose.
I would call an emergency meeting with school immediately and tell it exactly as you have done here.
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