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Neighbour's child crying, screaming, yelling

(7 Posts)
Moll83 Sat 25-Nov-17 04:22:50

My neighbour's child is three. Although at her quietest at night, she still wakes up and howels several times during the night. During the day, all day, from early on to gone midnight, she shouts, screams and shrieks. She can talk, so it's not that she can't, it's just that she prefers wailing and moaning with frequent outbursts of temper style cries. The problem is, there seems to be no attempt from the parents so model or encourage appropriate communication. Of course language is a part of communication but if wailing and screeching gets the response she wants then she's learning that as an effective way of communicating.... And more so an appropriate way. I don't have children, I chose not to and here I am suffering somone else's... Or should I say suffering the result of somone else's ineffective parenting. It's now 4am and she has been crying and whimpering since midnight. Controlled crying for babies, yeah... but really these parents are not interested in any type of parenting strategies, age appropriate or not. There is no routine which obviously doesn't help the situation; the child is running round screaming and crying gone midnight most nights and parents making no attempt to put the child to a bed at a reasonable time. I've read advice, like talk to them but really... Parents are so defensive these days, like they have more rights because they decided to have children and how dare people like me have an opinion about anything. I have been patient and I have tried to consider that some level of noise is to be expected but I'm not willing to start making excuses... There are plenty of occasions where they could reduce the noise levels to a more respectful level, even just talking in a calm but firm manner and not responding to moaning and screaming. The only time they respond is in a negative way when they lose their rag and shout. I had spoke to them about noise levels at 1am when they were working on the house and they said they didn't realize somone was living next door... I just explained that I'm mindful of others. I don't know what to do... So frustrated!!

Caenea Sat 25-Nov-17 20:53:08

Personally, I would knock and advise that the nighttime noise - don't mention what - is keeping you up.

It might be that the child had additional needs, it might be that she is unwell.

I highly doubt the parents are doing nothing at all - they're being kept up as much as you are! But you cannot, absolutely cannot, tell them they are not parenting well and should be doing XYZ. That will go down like a lead balloon.

TidyLike Sat 25-Nov-17 20:58:46

I would approach this with an invitation for tea/coffee and then a general 'how are things?' chat. If they don't mention it, leave it. It is simply unimaginable that they are woken up at night by their child screaming yet fail to question whether there might be something wrong. It could be that the child is autistic or something similar.

FireCracker2 Sat 25-Nov-17 21:00:54

Just be grateful it is not your child!

Lostsoul31 Sat 02-Dec-17 12:23:41

I think the only reasonable approach is have a chat with the mom or both parents. For all you know they could be struggling with the child. My youngest went through a whinging stage. Wouldn't use her words at all. But we persevered with her by reminding her that words get answers. Within about 6 months she changed completely. Rarely tantrums or anything. Just uses her words and communicates with us. Maybe a little support and encouragement is needed for the parents. Unless you think the child is in danger or her welfare is impaired there isn't anything else you can do

MyKingdomForBrie Sat 02-Dec-17 13:33:56

Move house! I honestly don’t think there is any intervention here in your part that will help your situation.

Marcine Sat 02-Dec-17 13:38:25

You can't do anything/make them do anything - you need to decide if you can live with it or not.

The child may grow out of it, or may have SN so won't.

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