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To stop feeling this way every single birthday

(11 Posts)
Fuckitletshavevino Sun 05-Nov-17 23:56:43

So it’s my birthday today and I’m happy all day, being bonfire night I take my lil one to a firework display. When the fireworks are going off I stand there crying (thankfully it’s dark so no one can see). I have done this every year (cried) for as long as I can remember and I don’t know why.

My dad passed away when I was almost 8. Every birthday before that we would have a huge firework/bday party and the whole family/extended family/neighbours would come and we had a great time but my 7th birthday was the last time. I understand this is part of the reason, but what goes through my head the most (35 today) is what have I achieved in all these years? I have my son who is my everything and the biggest achievement I could ever wish for. But I have no stability for him and financially I have nothing. I feel like I’ve wasted my life. I have a good job but I only work part time, however I earn more than say someone on minimum wage working full time. Yet I still struggle. I wanted to be a lawyer when I was younger from 13 up.

Why do I feel shit and why does it take the fireworks for me to speculate. Wwyd

Fuckitletshavevino Mon 06-Nov-17 00:09:35

Sorry wwyd to stop feeling this way

overnightangel Mon 06-Nov-17 00:14:14

I think it’s human nature to reflect and think “I could have done x y or z”
Some things just trigger it. I’m also 35 and feel I could have done more but 35 is still young and no barrier to doing what you want to! You sound like someone who gives yourself a hard time unnecessarily , sorry your birthday had made you feel this way there’s still bags of time to do what you want . Birthday hugs xx

NorfolksGiven Mon 06-Nov-17 00:21:12

This happens to me but on NYE when the fireworks go off I start crying. I lost my Dad when he was 50 (suddenly, heart attack)and I was 23 (40 now) and the last happy time we all had together was the Xmas/NY before he died. I only had one DC then, I have had three others since.

I always wanted to be a Social Worker and I’ve just started an MA in SW ages 39 and will be over 40 when I qualify.

Life is too short for regrets, if you want to be a lawyer - quit your job and look into training to be one smile

Fuckitletshavevino Mon 06-Nov-17 00:49:08

Aww thanks for the hugs @overnightangel xx

@NorfolksGiven I wish it was that simple but I can’t afford to quit my job and chase my dream. If only it was.

I just hold on to the hope that one day things will change. I know it’s not what job I have or how much I earn or what I do or do not have. It’s a state of mind. I guess appreciating what I do have. There are people in far worse situations than me.

Sorry for that change in attitude it’s normal thinking for me today, it’ll probably change in the morning lol. Thank you ladies xx

EasterRobin Mon 06-Nov-17 00:57:11

What exactly do you like about the idea of being a lawyer? There may be other ways to achieve your objective that don't involve anything like the same time commitment.

SnipSnipMrBurgess Mon 06-Nov-17 01:20:35

My dad passed away on my birthday all at 2 years ago so itavnot something celebrate any more but he he still had a lot of life left to live so I've tried to make a concerted effort in his memory to make my lefe better so it doesn't feel like it's slipped by when I go.

I'm 36 I've gone back to college yo retrain while working my shitty job and if i can do it anyone can. I've a bucket list as long as my arm to be reaches by next birthday. Could you think of things you want to do and work from that point?

SnipSnipMrBurgess Mon 06-Nov-17 01:21:44

And obvs I need to add spelling to the list because that post is fucking atrocious.

Fuckitletshavevino Mon 06-Nov-17 21:15:06

@EasterRobin getting justice. @SnipSnipMrBurgess aww hunni hugs to you and don’t worry about the spelling. It’s all predictive these days so not many will notice xx

sossij Tue 07-Nov-17 04:22:35

What would you do if both your child's godparents were out of horrible chance let's say we're brutally murdered at the same time. How do you continue to cover the truth to your child about what happened to her godparents that she remembers so well as it only happened a year ago and she is 9. She knows they died. And she knows they are always watching over her. I told her to pay attention to the little things that show you they are still here with you. Since then she has talked about many encounters of their presence. But she also always says "I don't have godparents anymore". What do I do? Should I anoint new godparents, but always instill the true ones or leave my child with no godparents from the age of 9 up!

Fuckitletshavevino Wed 08-Nov-17 20:49:19

@sossij a 9 year old is still a young child so it isn’t covering the truth or lying. It is protecting her from this cruel world we are unfortunately living in. All she needs to know is that her godparents are angels now and always watching over her and always her godparents. You do not anoint new godparents. No one can take their place. She has them in her heart and mind. A godparent is someone that helps guide you in life, she still has her parents. She still has guidance

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