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Dad hasn't visited new baby yet.....DH really pissed off

(9 Posts)
applebags Fri 03-Nov-17 16:33:55

My baby is 11 days old. Mum has been up to see him three times now but my dad hasn't come with her. My DH was very quiet for the whole of my mum's visit today and once she left has just got really angry.

He's massively offended that my dad hasn't been bothered to meet his first grandson yet. My dad has an illness which means he gets fatigued easily and his mobility is bad - but all he needed to do was get from my parent's flat to the car and then from my driveway into my house. I understand newborn babies are a bit boring but this is his first grandson so I can see why my DH is pissed off.

However, my dad is very 'hands-off' and I wasn't expecting him to be a very gushing grandad to be honest. I've said this to my DH but he thinks I'm just protecting my dad.

Just had our first row since the baby was born and I'm pissed off he's making a big deal of this when I'm not that bothered. Yes, I'd like my dad to be more interested but it was unlikely to happen.

My WWYD is do I tell my mum how pissed off my husband is or just keep this between the two of us and hope he calms down?

BenLui Fri 03-Nov-17 16:35:05

Is there any reason you can’t take the baby to visit your Dad if he doesn’t keep well?

flissfloss65 Fri 03-Nov-17 16:38:32

In your situation I would visit your dad with the baby. Obviously as and when I was able.

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay Fri 03-Nov-17 16:40:25

I'm with your dh on this. Even if he doesn't care much for teeny babies he should still give a shit that his daughter has just been through birth and is now a mother.

Why should you go and visit him. I'm pretty sure you, with an 11 day old baby, are more fatigued than him.

Unless here is more to his health issues I think your dh is behaving terribly and it speaks volumes about the relationship he wants with his grandchild and you.

Appuskidu Fri 03-Nov-17 16:40:57

You had a baby 11 days ago. Your DH needs to put his own rather childish feelings to one side and stop starting arguments. If it doesn't bother you, then really, what's it got to do with him?

He needs to be looking after you and the baby.

applebags Fri 03-Nov-17 16:57:05

It's a big effort to visit my parents as we don't have a car at the moment, so the journey would involve a 15min walk to the bus station then a bus journey of over an hour with a newborn...versus my dad just sitting in a car!

YouCantArgueWithStupid Fri 03-Nov-17 16:58:06

I don’t know if it’s unreasonable but if my MIL or FIL had acted the same way I’d be annoyed too

hoopdeloop Fri 03-Nov-17 16:59:01

It may be a bit of a faff but could you not ask your Mum to take you? Even offer her some petrol money if it might help?

Mxyzptlk Fri 03-Nov-17 17:05:46

WWID?
I'd ask my Mum to bring Dad next time she visits as it'd be nice for him to meet his new grandson.
OR
I'd tell DH that, as Dad isn't interested in babies and is hands-off in general, I'd find it an unnecessary stress to have him visit so soon.
AND
I'd tell DH to knock off with taking offence and stick to helping me and our baby.

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