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A secret from my husband

(3 Posts)
Mrspaisley Thu 26-Oct-17 12:46:07

A few years ago we owed money to HMRC for overpaid tax credits quite a lot £3500.00 In short my husband ran his own business and then returned to employment the same year which resulted in us being overpaid. My husband knew this. We tried to negiotate a repayment plan but they wanted half up front which my husband stubbornly refused. So we ignored them for a while until the sent a debt collectors letter.

We had some saving in particular an ISA in my name which my husband arranged. He earns more so although married for 15 years it was his salary that really saved this up. Anyway one day they sent a threatening letter so I used the money to pay them and didnt tell my husband as he would be mad at me for doing so even thought we clearly had the funds to pay them back. I never ever found the right time to tell him and the longer I left it the worse it got. Its now been 2 years since I paid them

I feel bad I did this without him knowing. Now he wants to move the ISA into a better paying fund and the money is not there. In short I have to tell him tonight and I feel sick about it.

I didnt spend it so part of me feels assured he wont be mad but he will be. Any advice. I feel this is a symptom of our marriage that I cant talk to him about money. He now earns a really good salary and we have other savings now. I made this decision with consulting him and then keeping it secret.

I am dreading going home to tell him

UrsulaPandress Thu 26-Oct-17 12:48:57

If it was two years ago, has your husband never wondered why HMRC stopped chasing for the money?

If he hasn't then he is clearly not the brightest button!

Shoxfordian Thu 26-Oct-17 14:59:48

Did he think HMRC just got bored of asking and went away? Doesn't sound like either of you handle money very well. Ignore it and hope it goes away is not a financial strategy!

I don't know why you wouldn't have discussed this before but obviously you do need to talk about it now. Also more generally you should be able to talk about money.

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