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My best friend ignored my wedding

(12 Posts)
fenella99 Wed 25-Oct-17 21:07:51

My best friend moved to London about two years ago to become a mature student, so we don't see anywhere near as much if each other as we used to. However, I recently got married, and I contacted her several months before the wedding to see if she was free on the date and if she'd be attending. At this point she seemed incredibly excited for me, telling me that she missed me, she'd definitely be there and was really looking forward to it.
I duly sent her an invitation, but after a few months hadn't heard from her. I messaged her a few times, and each time she told me she was at work but would message me properly later that night. She never did. My fiancé also messaged her, and she replied to him saying that she wasn't sure if she would attend as she wouldn't know anyone else there and couldn't get to the venue as she doesn't drive. I let her know she was welcome to bring a guest, she once again said she'd get back to me that evening, and once again I heard nothing. Even up to the morning of the wedding I hoped she'd show up, but she didn't.
I'm incredibly hurt by this, even though I know that we're not as close as we were. But this was my wedding, the most important day of my life, and she apparently couldn't even be bothered to send beck a pre-stamped and addressed RSVP card. I would have understood if she'd at least confirmed that she wouldn't be there, but she didn't message me, didn't text me on the day, and didn't even hit the "like" button on Facebook when I changed my name, updated my status and added the photos. I understand that her life is busy, but why not just say so?
Am I overreacting to be so upset by this? Or should I just accept that she has new friends now and our friendship has effectively fizzled out?

shakeyourcaboose Wed 25-Oct-17 21:10:05

Did she have a role in it? Maybe she thought she would and was upset/offended? Xz

shakeyourcaboose Wed 25-Oct-17 21:12:46

Apologies for random xz!

Misstomrs Wed 25-Oct-17 21:15:33

Honestly, there may be something exceptional going on in her life, but, assuming that isn't the case, I would say you've drifted and that it may be time to let go. You could try messaging her, or ideally calling her, and being honest, but frankly I think you're going to do a lot of running for pretty minimal return. Sorry OP.

mysecret321 Wed 25-Oct-17 21:15:50

Weird, i think there must be a reason for her behaviour...

greendale17 Wed 25-Oct-17 21:22:19

She doesn’t want to be your friend anymore

LockedOutOfMN Wed 25-Oct-17 21:25:08

It was your big day, not hers. She WBU not to RSVP, but yabu if you think she owes you more than that.

RooKangaroo Wed 25-Oct-17 21:38:46

Either there's something else going on, or she doesn't want to be that close with you anymore.

If it's been a long and good friendship, it's worth asking her. Maybe something else is happening that she needs support with.

Beyond that, if she doesn't reply, you've done everything you can and she's just not interested. Sorry sad

Madbum Wed 25-Oct-17 21:41:34

It sounds like she’s grown apart from you, very hurtful for you and should at least have had the decently to say she wouldn’t be attending and wished you well.

LouiseBrooks Wed 25-Oct-17 21:46:54

She's not your best friend and she's bloody rude - It would have taken 10 seconds to select accept/decline on the pre-paid card. Her shoddy response to any of the other messages either shows she doesn't care. I appreciate it may well be hard but just ditch her.

AyeAyeFishyPie Thu 26-Oct-17 07:33:47

She's just bloody rude I'm afraid. I would let it go but I entirely understand why you are upset, I would be too.

OliviaStabler Thu 26-Oct-17 07:35:50

Could she have been offended you did not ask her to be a bridesmaid?

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